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“Fucking disgusting,” she mutters. “So much slick, and I can’t tell if it’s new or not. Are you getting off on this, Miss Nina?”

“Wha?” I gasp, choking. I can’t speak properly, though it’s not for lack of trying as I attempt to scream that it hurts.

“I don’t care,” she replies. The next thing I know, she’s washing me as if I soiled myself with soap, and it hurts even more. I can’t not move, trying to kick her away but gettingnowhere for my efforts as the nurses turn off the showerhead above me and hold me down.

I can’t do anything but endure it until finally, my mind begins to disassociate. My eyes go unfocused as Nurse Naylor pulls me up with a cruel glint in her eye and shoves the soap into my mouth.

Oh my God. It feels as if it’s burning my taste buds as she scrubs my tongue, and then forces me to rinse my mouth. Of course, it doesn’t go well because of the gag I’m wearing.

The other nurses calmly pin my arms back, kicking my legs so I’ll fall down when I fight back too much. I’m sure I’ll be black and blue after this.

Grabbing a toothbrush, Nurse Naylor adds toothpaste and scrubs my teeth so hard, tears run down my face as I sob. My gums hurt as she tears at them with the toothbrush, and I stop trying to be brave or strong. I’ve been scrubbed within an inch of my life at this point.

Again, she washes out my mouth by pouring water into my mouth, laughing as I sputter and pushing my face down toward the drain in the small shower so it’ll wash away.

I don’t fight as they haul me out of the shower, roughly drying me. I numbly stare as they force me to put on a scratchy pair of pants and a top. Relentlessly, they zip tie my wrists behind my back and march me in bare feet back into the bedroom that feels more and more like a cell.

I manage a passing, fiery thought of rebellion that they’re going to have a mess of water to clean up because of how much was tracked out and sprayed. It’s a small thing, but I know I’m not going to get many of these small acts of mutiny in here.

Another doctor awaits us with pursed lips as he watches me, his gaze heavy with annoyance.

“You certainly took long enough,” he mutters.

I can’t say anything to him without drooling, so I remain silent. Whoever created this awful gag needs to have all of their toenails pulled off one by one because it’s humiliating.

“Miss Nina, I’m Dr. Kind,” the doctor says.

I have a feeling there’s not much kind about anyone who works here. The way the doctors say my name also feels condescending.

“You’re already running late to your first therapy session,” he says, looking disappointed. “I hope you’re well rested, because you won’t be sleeping again anytime soon. I’m glad to see there aren’t too many bruises from your shower.”

My eyes widen at that statement that feels more like a threat, my heart constricting with fear. I also have a feeling that he expected me to fight more than I did.

I’m a smart girl. There was no way that I was going to win against these three women who are all built like they can bench press several of me and not be out of breath.

An orderly walks into the room, his lips twisted into a no nonsense look. None of these people have any scent at all. My nose is very confused, unable to understand why. In my previous experience, even betas have a scent. Maybe they use descenters?

Come to think about it, all I can smell is the foul soap they used on my skin, the scent of honeysuckle gone.

Another part of me is missing.Is that what I have to look forward to here?

“Richter, please take Miss Nina to her first therapy session. You know where to go. Don’t talk to her, or tell her anything. You know the rules for patients.”

I feel lightheaded as Richter pulls me away from the nurses behind me, his large hand bruising as he leads me out of the room. My feet stumble as I try to keep up with him, the cold floor not doing my still bare feet any favors.

He doesn’t speak to me as he walks, finally opening a door and staring at me.

“I should take the gag off but I won’t,” he grunts. “Don’t forget to keep moving your feet.”

Shoving me hard, he slams the door closed as I fall into blackness.Except, it’s not unconsciousness, I would rather have that. No, this is water and it’s deep. I can’t close my mouth, my hands are zip tied behind my back, and I kick my feet the way he told me.

I’m a very good swimmer, but I have thoughts of drowning as I fight against the inky darkness of the water. It’s also frigid. Over and over, I kick my feet, my thoughts on Cooper and Ethan even as I gag and sputter.

I’m going to swallow gallons of this shit by the end of this.

Just…keep…kicking.

Twelve