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I can barely feel my feet as I walk over to him. My alphas gaze hungrily at me, but I’m too scared to say goodbye. I refuse to let this be the last time I see them. Saying the words feels like a bad omen.

“I love you,” I say instead, my body twitching as I wrap my arms around myself.

“We love you,” Cooper says, speaking for the pack. Riley and Ethan look devastated as they nod. “We’ll see you soon.”

“Soon,” I repeat, a tear escaping to run down my cheek. “Okay.”

“We should go,” Silas says. “The rest of my pack is in the car. We’re going to show a united front, Nina.”

I let myself memorize Riley’s tattoos, Ethan’s brilliant eyes, and Cooper’s unapologetic attitude. Pack Thornefield is mine.

Turning away when I can feel myself waver, I walk out the door with Silas behind me. I won’t be able to leave if I stay a second longer. Lyle and Easton are sitting in the backseat waiting for me, and they act as bookends on the way to the airport as I stare at nothing.

Lyle picks me up and cradles me in his arms to walk me onto the plane, rubbing my back as he sits down in the chair. He ignores the flight attendant as she asks that everyone sit in their seats, and I mourn the loss of my pack’s scents. Crying fucked everything up again due to the inflammation.

Sniffing, I close my eyes and let myself drift with my head pillowed on Lyle’s shoulder. I can hear them talking as I try to reach out to my alphas, but I’m too far away. The realization makes me start crying again, and I’m inconsolable until Lyle alpha barks me to go to sleep.

I don’t even blame him for it. Oblivion is better than this pain.

Twenty-Five

Nina

My eyes are puffy as Silas pulls up to my mother’s house and I take a deep breath. God, if this is what it’s like to be away from my pack, I can never do this again.

It feels as if my heart is in someone’s fist and being squeezed. It fucking hurts.

Refusing to wheeze or show signs of weakness, I take the tiniest of breaths so I won’t pass out. Lyle and Easton glance warily at me as they get out of the car and help me out. I accept the help because my legs feel like jello.

“Nina,” Easton murmurs worriedly.

“Just drop me off and go,” I say, fixing my hair as I lift my chin and straighten my spine.

“She’s holding on by a thread,” Silas says, shutting his door. “Nina, I’m going to do this so you can hold it together, but I’m also going to issue a warning to your mother. I want her to be fucking terrified to touch you. I refuse to allow her to think that she can hurt you.”

I nod because talking isn’t possible, my body feeling overly warm because of the Georgia weather. My winterclothing is no longer appropriate, and I can feel a trickle of sweat slide down my back.

My phone is in my hand as I walk, though I just powered it back on. There are multiple unanswered calls from my mother that I’m sure I’ll hear all about soon, but I haven’t had it with me at all.

I suppose I can also blame the weather in Colorado because the snowstorm knocked out one of the cell towers. They managed to get it repaired, but my mother doesn’t know any of that.

Less information is better when it comes to her. It’s harder to trip over my lies and secrets that way.

Standing on the front stoop, I watch as Silas rings the doorbell. My anxiety is spiking hard, and I can feel my vision sliding in and out. It’s scary as fuck, and feels as if I’m drowning again.

Breathe.

Gasping in a breath, I realize I had stopped breathing, and Silas’ hand squeezes my hip hard in worry. So fucking stupid. None of this will work if I pass out before I even get into the house.

I’m still exhausted despite sleeping on the plane. I know I barely slept during my heat, because my body insisted on being taken care of. I loved every minute of it, but I need a nap.

And maybe someone to guard my door. Fuck if my life isn’t odd.

The door opens to reveal my mother, and I can tell she’s unhappy. She manages to smooth away the peevish look on her face, but she’s simmering with anger. I love that for me.

“Miss Vivian,” Silas says. “We want to formally announce that we’ve not only decided, but Nina is now bonded as well.”

I can feel how smug Lyle is at his alpha’s words. Not one is a lie, but they also say something different than what my mother is hearing.