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“They’ve been discussing that,” Riley says woodenly. It sounds as if he has no emotion, but the blankness on his face is a defense mechanism. I’ve used it enough to understand that. “She’s almost been at the hospital for a year, and her mother is getting anxious.”

“The bitch probably has a line of packs for Nina that are chomping at the bit as she tries to explain why her daughter can’t meet with them,” I grumble. “Convince the doctors this will work, and that she won’t recognize us if she sees us again.”

“They’ve begun water boarding her as part of her treatment,” Riley says. “She’s refusing to cooperate, and the staff is panicking. Weeping Willow wants Nina to be their success story so they can do this to others. There’s a possibility that she may have some damage to her senses.”

I remember how long it took Ethan to recognize Nina as his scent match due to the way his sinuses swell during cold weather, but it still happened. I have to hope that Nina’s senses will still recognize who we are to her when the time comes.

This isn’t goodbye, we are not giving up. We are merely retreating until we can find her again.

Reaching out, I rub my son’s back as he cries. Riley’s gaze stays on Ethan as he decides on his next words.

“I have some ideas on how we can ensure Nina sees us all again. We’ll win her over, even if she can’t recognize that we’re her scent matches,” he says. “Fate gave her to us, we’ll meet her again.”

She was once ours and she’ll be ours later. We just need to be patient, bite back the crushing pain, so she can live.

Nina

I feel drowsy as I wake up, but I’m beginning to get used to this. I’m either drugged asleep or forced to stay awake. I don’t know what it feels like to sleep in a bed anymore since I’m often left on the floor or tied to a chair, which is why I’m surprised there’s something soft underneath me. Blankets surround my body, another comfort I haven’t been allowed to have since I woke from my first heat.

A soft noise of confusion slips from my lips and I move my hands expecting to be tied down. My eyes fly open in shock as I find that I’m completely unrestrained. Unfortunately, I’m so weak I can’t sit up, and simply gaze up at Riley.

I don’t know his last name, and he’s maintained a stoic demeanor throughout every therapy he’s watched. He doesn’t participate unless Dr. Kind feels it’s necessary. It doesn’t change the fact that I fucking hate him too.

“What… Is this a trick?” I ask, gazing at my hands and rotating my ankles. I don’t get to exercise unless it’s life or death in the water tank where I have to tread water with my hands tied behind my back for hours.

As a result, my muscles and joints ache.

“No, and there aren’t any cameras in this room,” he murmurs. “I need you to listen to me very carefully, Nina, because this only works if you let me in completely. You need to forget your alphas. This is killing you. I know you’re already beginning to forget little things, right?”

“Yes,” I whisper. “That doesn’t mean I want to forget the rest.”

I’m unsure why we’re both speaking so softly, but I do itanyway. It feels wrong to speak about erasing my alphas from my mind. The shame I’m weighed down with is heavy enough as it is.

Every therapy session I’m forced to participate in hurts, and I’ve had countless nosebleeds from the electro-convulsive therapy. My body is exhausted, and where I have never had thoughts of suicide before, I have them all the time now.

What if I just didn’t tread water one day? What if I just stopped fighting?

I know no one is going to save me from this. My alphas can fight for me, throw the full letter of the law at the institute, but I’m never getting out until the doctors and my mother get the results they want.

“So maybe I die here,” I rasp, a tear escaping from my eye.

My soul is exhausted. How much more can I take?

“No,” he growls, moving from the end of the couch to lean over me so quickly I screech. “You’re not fucking dying here, Nina Marie Sterling. For once in your life, don’t be stubborn. I know I don’t deserve your trust, but I’m here for you. Your alphas sent me here to watch over you, do what I can. They want you to let go of them and save yourself.”

“They don’t want me anymore?” I ask, sniffling.

“They’d prefer that you live,” he says seriously. Reaching out, he smooths away a tear. “Try it my way, okay? Forget them.”

“How do I know that you’re telling the truth?” I ask.

“Ethan calls you Rainbow Brite, and has since he met you,” he says. “We’re friends, and have been since we met in undergrad. The rest is for him to tell you when you meet again. I believe in fate, Nina. Trust in that if you can’t trust me.”

I can hear the truth in his words, and my heart pounds as I nod. It feels profound, as if I am selling my soul away.

“Good,” he says softly, moving away. Riley doesn’t call me a “good girl” which is a positive because if I’d had the strength, I would have slapped the shit out of him.

I don’t think I’ll want to be called that for a long damn time.