Page 55

Everything feels surreal, especially the warmth of the sun as it warms my face, despite the shade of the tree over me. I’m waiting for my mother to make a big deal about it, since she hates when I’m in the sun.

“You’re so very pale,” she murmurs absently. “Maybe we’ll need to look at a modest spray tan, and a really good wig for your poor bald head.”

I stare at her as I wait for her to get to her point, allowing myself to enjoy the sounds of nature around me, especially the birds. It’s very sterile within the walls of Weeping Willow, and the only sounds are those of my screams.

Although, it’s been a week exactly since that’s happened, and I’ve been allowed to sleep in a bed. The change is so sudden, I’m waiting for someone to tell me that it’s all a lie as they drop me in the freezing pool to tread water for hours.

I’ll never take the beauty of the world for granted again. Not ever. I feel as if I’ve been in a war for my sanity, and I’m not certain I’m coming out the other side intact.

In fact, the emptiness I’ve been feeling inside of me for days tells me that I’m missing something, I just don’t know what.

My mother doesn’t seem to know what to do with my silence, and her fingers press together as she looks up at the sky. She’d never be indelicate enough to wring her hands, my mother is entirely too well bred for that, but I can tell she’s at a loss for words.

Still, I won’t be the one to break the silence, because it’s not mine to break. She’d find something wrong with how I did it, and the last thing I want is to be punished for rules I don’t understand.

“Dr. Kind and Dr. Brunes seem to think you’re ready to bedischarged,” she says, still not looking at me. I suppose my change in appearance is shocking, though I had nothing to do with it. “Georgia is sweltering with heat during the summer, but it’ll give you time to get ready to be courted.”

I allow the words to fall around me like tiny pebbles, measuring what they mean to me. I recall a fight we had before I was brought here, but not who was there. Ah, yes. She was upset that I ran away to go to college, and believes I should be content to find a pack instead.

That’s what this is about: becoming an obedient omega. I’ve certainly listened to enough of Emilia Richardson’s lectures to know what one should act like. I suppose I should follow those to the letter.

Weeping Willow’s teachings and rehabilitation aren’t for the weak or faint of heart, and I for one have had my fill.

“Yes, Mom,” I murmur, my voice cracking due to the strain from the past months.

“Oh, your voice,” she gasps in horror, glancing at me. “We’re going to add voice lessons to the list, I suppose. You should have honeyed, dulcet tones in your voice soon. There will be no discussion of returning to school, because that life is not for you. Your alphas will not respect you if you’re too smart. Thank God Martin understands how important this time is for you, and is being very understanding.”

Her husband. I can’t even really call him my step-father because I rarely see him. He’s just another revolving alpha in my mother’s life.

“That’s nice,” I murmur, trying to control the terrible condition of my voice and failing.

“Isn’t it?” she asks, beaming.

Since she doesn’t need an actual response, I press my lips together in a reminder to myself to not say a word. It’s slight, just for me, and I know she won’t notice it. While my mother thinks she knows me inside and out, she doesn’t.

“Yes, well,” she says awkwardly. “I’ll be back to collect you ina couple of days. Dr. Brunes says he wants to ensure you won’t back slide in any of your lessons, ah therapy. Yes, that’s it!”

A whisper of disappointment fills me, because I thought I was done. The assumption is mine alone, but knowing I’ll be subjected to more of their “lessons” before I’m released takes my breath away.

I watch as she clasps her hands happily, even as she plans to abandon me to thesepeople.

“I have it all planned out,” she sighs happily. “You’re going to have the best life, and everyone will praise me for being the best mother to you. Be good, listen to your doctors, and I’ll be back. I know I don’t have to tell you of the consequences if you aren’t.”

I can feel the presence of the alpha behind me before he speaks. I don’t know what his schedule is for working here, since there aren’t any windows where I can see them here. Even my bedroom here doesn’t have any.

“I can reassure you that your daughter is doing wonderfully,” Riley says confidently. “She’s recovering nicely.”

I don’t know why I needed to recover from being a normal teenager with plans for her life that didn’t align with her mother’s, but again, I press my lips slightly together.

It helps me keep my voice under lock and key. My thoughts need to remain inside my mind at all times. No mistakes.

“Good,” my mother says, nodding as she stands. “I’ll let you get back to it. Remember what I said, Nina.”

I incline my head as she walks away, refusing to say goodbye. There’s nothing “good” about it, except for her being gone.

I wait for Riley to tell me it’s time to go back inside, but he doesn’t. Instead, I get to bask in the beauty of the world for as long as I can until it’s time to return inside.

Where the lights burn too warm, and everything tastes metallic.