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“What does Gema say about it?”
“Tells me not to let them get me so worked up. But it’s hard not to, especially when it’s coming from multiple angles.”
“I’m sorry that you’re dealing with this.”
“I’m used to it, and that’s what’s so fucked about it.”
“But you shouldn’t be.”
“I know, but what other option do I have.” When Law didn’t say anything, I added, “My sentiments exactly. I’m sorry for ruining your dinner.”
“You didn’t ruin my dinner, Talitha. I’m happy I was here to keep you from going off the deep end.”
“It’s gone take more than some tears to break me, Law. I’ve been dealing with this since I was twenty. I’m numb to it most of the time. I guess it really bothered me because the one time I do something that isn’t centered around Gema, I’m looked at like the bad person.”
“That’s not a good thing though, Talitha.”
“It’s life and it’s what I’m used to. Outside of a few old people ailments, my Gema is in good health and that’s really all I could ask for.”
“What can I do to help?” His voice was solemn. I knew he was feeling sorry for me. Pity was the last thing that I needed. From him. From anybody.
“There is no helping me, Law. That’s the thing. I’ve been rescued once; I won’t let it happen again.” My statement was a double entendre. Whether he picked up on it or not was on him, not me.
Realizing that I was still wrapped up in his arms, I leaned my head up and adjusted my body so I could stand. I wasn’t a bitch; I was grateful for him being here in this moment and I needed to express that.
Standing in front of him, I peered down into his eyes. “Thank you so much Law for listening to me vent.”
“You don’t have to thank me, Talitha. You needed a friend in this moment.”
“Still. You didn’t have to sit here and listen. You could’ve brought me in here and left. My life is a lot, I come with a lot. I know it and everyone around me does. I don’t like to bother anyone with my issues cause I never want to feel like a burden so please accept my thanks because you’ll probably never get to see me this raw and uncut again.”
Rising from his spot on the bed, Law towered over me. “In that case… you’re welcome, Talitha.”
Gazing up at him while his eyes were cast down on me, I was tempted to kiss him. The longer we stood there staring at each other, the faster my heart galloped in my chest. When Law opened his mouth to speak, my breathing labored. Clearly, we both had it on our mind and instead of going in for the kiss I was desperate to receive, he rubbed the pad of his thumb across my bottom lip. His gaze was so heavy that my body started to feel like shards of glass was prickling it. I cowered under his heated stare. When I turned my head to break the intense stare, Lawgrabbed my face between the palms of his hand and turned it back to him.
“I want to kiss you so bad right now, Talitha,” he swore.
When I felt like my knees were getting ready to go out, I gripped his elbows to steady myself.
Bringing his face closer to mine, he whispered, “I want nothing more than to rip you out of this robe and make love to you. God, I desire to make you feel so good.” Shaking his head slightly, he expelled a deep sigh. “But I can’t. Not like this at least. When I have you, I want you willingly, not battered and bruised.”
“Law…” I croaked out.
“I want you so bad that I’m physically hurting.” Dropping one of his hands from my face, Law wrapped his arm around my waist and pulled my body into his. I felt him. He said he was physically hurting and the harden member between his legs let me know how true that statement was.
“Lawton,” I whimpered like a wounded fucking cat. I wanted to beg him to have his way with me, but this was my boss. I wanted to cross that line so fucking bad right now, and maybe it was emotionally fueled. If I wasn’t in such an emotional funk, I wouldn’t dare be standing this close to him. I was though because my heart was crushed and I wanted to feel good, even if only for a few minutes. My hands gripped his arms tighter when he leaned in and placed a kiss on my forehead.
Instead of pulling back, he allowed his lips to linger causing me to close my eyes and suck in a deep breath. Eventually, he pulled back and gazed down at me before removing his hands, stepping to the side, and walking out of my bedroom. I couldn’t move; my feet felt like they were cemented to the ground. I stood in place for what felt like hours while I talked myself out of sprinting out of my bedroom to go look for him. Law had morewillpower than I did in this moment, and he made the right call when he walked out. Knowing that, I still felt a ping of rejection.
Once I was able to get myself together, I pulled the covers back and slid into bed. I would stare up at the ceiling until my body calmed down enough for me to fall asleep.
CHAPTER 11
Lawton
Walking away from Talitha last night proved to be a harder task than I thought. I don’t recall ever having a pull that strong to any female other than Adele. Something about the way her body shook in my arms while she cried had me wanting to kill anybody that had ever hurt her. I wanted so bad to make her feel good last night. I couldn’t and wouldn’t dare take advantage of her in that state.
While she was on her call, I tried so hard not to listen which proved to be impossible. One because she had the damn phone on speaker, and two, because she was loud as hell as she argued back and forth with her family.