Page 36
Story: One Good Reason
“I don’t but that right there confirms it.” She laughed, tousling her freshly rolled hair. Gema stared at me a few seconds before shaking her head. “You gotta open up that heart of yours, chile. Don’t be so guarded that you miss out. Your past doesn’t define you Tali and regardless of what Litha say, you didn’t ask for that nor did you want it.”
Gema mentioning what happened to me in the past caused my eyes to fill with tears. I know I’m not responsible for those things. Years and thousands spent on therapy sessions taughtme that. However, those same things were the main reason I was so guarded. I felt like the minute I let my resolve down, something bad would happen. Being hurt at such a young age would do that to you. I couldn’t fathom the thought of being hurt twice.
“Them tears ain’t nothing but confirmation. Baby… you got to let that go. Me and Joe gave you nothing but unconditional love. We loved on you the hardest cause we knew it’s what you needed. Even with all of that, Tali, you got a clutch around yo’ heart so tight. It’s tight enough to keep anything and anybody out of it. You gots to let that go.”
“I hear you, Gema. But honestly, it’s easier said than done.”
“Nawl it ain’t. You got accustomed to holding onto it. That’s that fight or flight mentality. Scared to let it go cause you scared of really being happy.”
“I’m happy,” I partially lied and swiped the wetness from my cheeks.
“You ain’t. But I won’t debate you ‘bout it.”
Tonguing my cheek, I squeezed my eyes shut. Gema made a lot of sense, hell, so did Mrs. Jessie andLaw. However, I just wasn’t in the place to receive it. Love outside of what I felt for Gema was a foreign feeling, one I promised myself as a little girl that I wouldn’t feel for a soul. My heart was impenetrable. That’s how I had survived for as long as I had. It’s how I would leave this Earth.
The clinking of plates being sat down on the table pulled me out of my trance. If I continued to feed into Gema, we would be having this conversation until I left for New York. Grabbing her hands, I squeezed them softly. “Let’s bless the food so we can eat and get you back to the house.”
“Ummhmm,” Gema huffed and pursed her lips. She knew exactly what I was doing.
“Tali, it’s a black SUV out front,” Mrs. Jessie yelled through the house.
Descending the stairs with my bags in tow, I uttered, “I know. That’s my ride.”
“I hope whoever that is got enough manners to come to the front door,” Gema complained and before I could tell her it wasn’t necessary, the doorbell went off.
Hopping off the couch, Mrs. Jessie headed for the door. “I got it.”
While she let Law or Baker in, whichever one was standing on the other side, I rounded the couch and sat beside Gema. “Listen, call me for anything. Doesn’t matter the time of night. I will always answer for you.”
“Jessie can handle me, you know.”
“I know,” I reassured her. “For my peace of mind, you can call me Gema. I don’t care what I’m doing… I will stop.”
“We not gon’ bug you. Gon’ up there and have yourself a good time.”
“Hard to do,” I mumbled. I was having regrets and on the verge of backing out. If this trip wasn’t essential for the plans Law and I had made, I would’ve backed out.
Stroking the back of my hand, Gema looked up at me and smiled. “Don’t keep whoever that is waiting.”
“He will be alright.,” I chortled and let out a dejected sigh.
“Tali,” Mrs. Jessie called out to me. Looking in her direction, I saw Law standing behind her.
Clearing my throat, I stood and smoothed out my sweatshirt. “Gema, this is my boss. Lawton Harvey. Law, this is my beloved Gema.”
Walking up to the couch, Law held out his hand. “Pleasure to finally meet you, Gema. I’ve heard so much about you.”
“Funny you say that. I’ve heard very little about you. But make no mistakes, I would love to hear more.” Gema batted her eyes, making Law and Mrs. Jessie laugh. I, on the other hand, was floored.Is this lady really sitting here flirting with my boss?
Clutching my faux pearls, I yelped, “Bertha Mae, that is my boss.”
“Hush up, Tali. That man knows he’s handsome. Don’t you baby?”
“I’ve heard it a time or two,” Law confirmed with a quick wink of his eye.
“Ummhmm. See Tali… he’s heard ita time or two.” She beamed.
“You ready to go Talitha?”
Gema mentioning what happened to me in the past caused my eyes to fill with tears. I know I’m not responsible for those things. Years and thousands spent on therapy sessions taughtme that. However, those same things were the main reason I was so guarded. I felt like the minute I let my resolve down, something bad would happen. Being hurt at such a young age would do that to you. I couldn’t fathom the thought of being hurt twice.
“Them tears ain’t nothing but confirmation. Baby… you got to let that go. Me and Joe gave you nothing but unconditional love. We loved on you the hardest cause we knew it’s what you needed. Even with all of that, Tali, you got a clutch around yo’ heart so tight. It’s tight enough to keep anything and anybody out of it. You gots to let that go.”
“I hear you, Gema. But honestly, it’s easier said than done.”
“Nawl it ain’t. You got accustomed to holding onto it. That’s that fight or flight mentality. Scared to let it go cause you scared of really being happy.”
“I’m happy,” I partially lied and swiped the wetness from my cheeks.
“You ain’t. But I won’t debate you ‘bout it.”
Tonguing my cheek, I squeezed my eyes shut. Gema made a lot of sense, hell, so did Mrs. Jessie andLaw. However, I just wasn’t in the place to receive it. Love outside of what I felt for Gema was a foreign feeling, one I promised myself as a little girl that I wouldn’t feel for a soul. My heart was impenetrable. That’s how I had survived for as long as I had. It’s how I would leave this Earth.
The clinking of plates being sat down on the table pulled me out of my trance. If I continued to feed into Gema, we would be having this conversation until I left for New York. Grabbing her hands, I squeezed them softly. “Let’s bless the food so we can eat and get you back to the house.”
“Ummhmm,” Gema huffed and pursed her lips. She knew exactly what I was doing.
“Tali, it’s a black SUV out front,” Mrs. Jessie yelled through the house.
Descending the stairs with my bags in tow, I uttered, “I know. That’s my ride.”
“I hope whoever that is got enough manners to come to the front door,” Gema complained and before I could tell her it wasn’t necessary, the doorbell went off.
Hopping off the couch, Mrs. Jessie headed for the door. “I got it.”
While she let Law or Baker in, whichever one was standing on the other side, I rounded the couch and sat beside Gema. “Listen, call me for anything. Doesn’t matter the time of night. I will always answer for you.”
“Jessie can handle me, you know.”
“I know,” I reassured her. “For my peace of mind, you can call me Gema. I don’t care what I’m doing… I will stop.”
“We not gon’ bug you. Gon’ up there and have yourself a good time.”
“Hard to do,” I mumbled. I was having regrets and on the verge of backing out. If this trip wasn’t essential for the plans Law and I had made, I would’ve backed out.
Stroking the back of my hand, Gema looked up at me and smiled. “Don’t keep whoever that is waiting.”
“He will be alright.,” I chortled and let out a dejected sigh.
“Tali,” Mrs. Jessie called out to me. Looking in her direction, I saw Law standing behind her.
Clearing my throat, I stood and smoothed out my sweatshirt. “Gema, this is my boss. Lawton Harvey. Law, this is my beloved Gema.”
Walking up to the couch, Law held out his hand. “Pleasure to finally meet you, Gema. I’ve heard so much about you.”
“Funny you say that. I’ve heard very little about you. But make no mistakes, I would love to hear more.” Gema batted her eyes, making Law and Mrs. Jessie laugh. I, on the other hand, was floored.Is this lady really sitting here flirting with my boss?
Clutching my faux pearls, I yelped, “Bertha Mae, that is my boss.”
“Hush up, Tali. That man knows he’s handsome. Don’t you baby?”
“I’ve heard it a time or two,” Law confirmed with a quick wink of his eye.
“Ummhmm. See Tali… he’s heard ita time or two.” She beamed.
“You ready to go Talitha?”
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