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Santiago grunted. ‘Gracias a Dios.’
Holding her hand, he headed through the crowd of gyrating teenagers until they reached Ana.
‘Feliz cumpleaños, Ana. I’m so proud of you,’ he said, pressing a fatherly kiss to his sister’s forehead.
Ana grinned, flushing with pleasure at his praise. Then she threw her arms around them both to thank them for the party.
‘We will leave you now to enjoy yourself. Be good, okay?’ Santiago added.
Cerys had to blink back a sudden rush of emotion. He would make such a wonderful father. He was so protective, so sure and steady, but also so kind and so affectionate in his own gruff way.
Ever since he had begun to let his guard down, he had begun to understand how much he had to give and to gain by letting people in. And she had seen him grow into the man he had always been meant to be. And it made her so happy.
But even as the joy burst in her chest, the knots in her stomach remained…
She was worried about how he wasreallygoing to feel about this new responsibility, when he’d already had so many other responsibilities thrust upon him in his life. She knew he would accept it instinctively, and if he knew how excited she was about the pregnancy he would keep any misgivings he had about the baby to himself.
But ever since that scary, beautiful day on Isla de la Luna, when they had made a commitment to each other to let go of the past so they could build on their future together, trust had been the key. And admitting what you needed, as well as what you wanted, however terrifying it was.
But if she was going to discover what he really thought about becoming a dad, she would have to bend that promise a little and keep her own reaction to the news neutral, so he wouldn’t feel the need to hide his true feelings again.
‘Don’t worry, Santiago. I won’t do anything you two wouldn’t,’ Ana replied cheekily, breaking Cerys out of her thoughts, and making Santiago curse softly under his breath.
‘Dios,’ Santiago said as Ana skipped off to join her friends. The mix of concern and compassion and pride in his eyes as he watched his sister disappear into the crowd made Cerys’s heart melt even more. ‘That does not reassure me in the least,’ he grumbled.
Cerys laughed.
But as he grasped hold of her hand to lead her through the orchard to their private villa, away from the raucous party, the throbbing pop music and teenage exuberance was soon drowned out by her erratic pulse… And she had to swallow to contain the prickle of anxiety once more.
‘I love you so much, Señora De Montoya,’ Santiago murmured as he pressed his wife back against the closed door of the villa, unable to keep his hands off her. ‘I hope you know that…’ he added, cupping her face as he kissed her lips.
She kissed him back, with hunger, with love, but when he eased back and she smiled at him, he could see the flicker of uncertainty, even panic, in her eyes, too.
And his heart got trapped in his throat, right behind the words which he had been so desperate to say to her all day long… Ever since he had returned home from the fields to take a shower before Ana’s party and spotted the corner of the box half buried in the bathroom trash.
And of course, once he’d realised what it was, he’d had to dig out the test itself, then avidly read the instructions…
The burst of joy in his heart and the rush of pure masculine pride and pleasure had been so immense, once he’d realised exactly what he was seeing, he’d been lightheaded. In fact, he’d had to sit down on the bed and spend several moments forcing himself to breathe… He’d never fainted before in his life, but he’d been so giddy it had been touch and go there for a while.
All he’d wanted to do in that moment was find Cerys, throw his arms around her, lift her up, spin her round and then probably never let her go again in this lifetime.
But that had been three hours ago now. Three hours as he had watched her preparing the last of the arrangements for Ana’s party. Dealing with the guests, coordinating the surprise, greeting everyone… And he’d waited for her to drag him to one side to tell him the news. And she hadn’t.
Not only that, but once he’d calmed down enough to think straight, he’d realised that she must have known about the pregnancy when she’d come to the bodega to meet him for lunch eight hours ago now… And again, she’d said nothing.
He’d been watching her so closely in the past hour, unable to stop himself from touching her, running his hands over the space where their child was already growing, while willing all his fears to subside. But now as he watched her glance down and tug her bottom lip beneath her teeth, the panic which had been building like a summer storm threatened to consume him. And forced him to ask himself the question he had been trying not to ask for three hours.
What if she wasn’t as overjoyed about this news as he was?
Their life had been wonderful, exciting, so full of fun and love in the past ten months. But it had also been chaotic, insanely busy and overwhelming. She had built a career for herself at the bodega, built a home for his family in thecastillo, become his wife and hisduquesa, forced into the public eye, while deftly handling the media attention which he had always hated with charm and grace.
He knew she loved him. He would never doubt that. But maybe she was not ready for this development. Maybe she was exhausted by all the changes. And what right did he have to push this on her, when she had already taken on so much for him?
But what the hell would he do if she didn’t want to keep his child? When he wanted so much to see her body grow round with his baby, to see her nurture it, to see her become an amazing mother…
They had changed the narrative of their family’s history, from tragedy to triumph, with their love. But it had been exhausting as well as exhilarating at times. He understood that.
But as he watched her struggle, he felt the rush of love consume him all over again.