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He leaned across and he offered her another piece of apple. She took a bite, watching him watch her, and felt a febrile thread of arousal run through her body. But she wouldn’t let herself be distracted… Yet.
‘I’d like that.’ She imagined them speeding down the slopes, blood pumping from the exertion and exhilaration. Afterwards, alone in their chalet… ‘But was business your dream when you were young?’
The shadow crossed his features. ‘The only dream I had then was getting away from my father. You know what sort of man he was. He treated his family no better. He didn’t care about anyone but himself.’
Benedikt paused, looking into the distance. What did he see? She was sure it wasn’t the beauty of the Alpine scene.
‘He destroyed my mother.’
The words were shocking for their matter-of-factness. Annalena had hoped he’d let her in, sharing details of his life, yet his frankness surprised.
‘For reasons I never understood she cared about him. Their marriage was a convenient one but she loved him at least in the beginning. He took that love and twisted it into a weapon.’
Annalena sat up, covering Benedikt’s hand with hers.
He gave her a tight smile. ‘As for me, I was a necessary evil. He wanted an heir and insisted I do him proud yet he took every opportunity to alienate me. I think he resented the fact I’d eventually inherit. He didn’t want to share power with anyone. Usually he’d ignore or belittle me, but other times he’d micromanage my life and he was never satisfied.’
‘Oh, Benedikt! That’s awful.’ She’d been an orphan yet she’d known love and support.
‘It’s okay.I’mokay. I had my mother, when she was well enough, and I had her father, my grandfather. He was the role model who saved me.’
Benedikt squeezed her hand, darkened eyes snaring hers.
‘You said your family saved you from yourself.’
After a moment he nodded. ‘He and my mother. They showed me another way to live. Taught me to think of people other than myself.’
He huffed a laugh that didn’t sound like amusement. ‘My father insisted I spend my early years in the palace. Much as I learned to fear and loathe him, I also learned his ways. By the time he grew bored with being a father and let me travel to the States each summer, his poison had infected me. I was a sullen, selfish kid focused on myself, on getting what I wanted and, of course, keeping out of my father’s way.’
His self-hatred astonished her and she leaned closer. ‘You were only a child.’
Benedikt hitched those broad shoulders. ‘A child raised by a cruel, narcissistic man. Being away from him, learning about kindness and decency, was like discovering a whole new world. I began to believe maybe I could find a place for myself in that world.
‘My family had a lot of patience. They persevered through the bad behaviour, the acting out, the time in my late teens when I decided that despite everything I’d learned, selfish hedonism was the way to go.’
He looked down at her hand clutching his. ‘With their help I foughtnotto be like my father, even if sometimes I feel his darkness inside.’
Benedikt’s words pierced her. ‘You’re not like him. How can you think it?’ He raised a quizzical eyebrow but said nothing. ‘You’re dismantling everything bad he created in this country. You and Matthias.’
And now she was too. She felt an uprush of pride at the thought of helping that endeavour.
Finally he inclined his head, his mouth twisting as he lifted his hand to stroke her jaw. ‘You’re so earnest on my behalf. Thank you, sweetheart. After the way I corralled you into marriage that’s kind of you.’
Annalena jerked her head back. ‘Don’t patronise me, Benedikt. It’s not kind. I’m speaking the truth.’
That cynical twist of his lips disappeared and the bleakness left his eyes.
‘That’s something you always deliver.’ This time his smile was genuine. ‘After dealing with my father’s Byzantine arrangements and secret back-room deals, it’s refreshing to have someone who says what they mean and doesn’t shy from the truth.’
‘What else could you expect from a plain, unsophisticated scientist who spends more time with plants than people?’
‘Plain? Unsophisticated? You’re neither of those things.’
She hadn’t been fishing for compliments. ‘I meant—’
He leaned in, crowding her back towards the picnic blanket. ‘You’re anything but plain and you have one of the most sophisticated minds I know.’ His eyes glinted with intent as her shoulder blades hit the ground. ‘As for your looks, your body…’ He settled over her, hard muscle against yielding flesh. ‘You know I approve wholeheartedly.’
He nuzzled her neck, nibbling against that sensitive spot, making her gasp as need rose.