Page 120

He frowned, not liking the finality of her words or the implication he thought that was the only place she belonged.
‘You don’t need me here and I’m much happier in Edelforst.’ She moistened her bottom lip. ‘I want to live there full-time.’
‘What?’ It was so unexpected Benedikt had trouble believing his ears. ‘You mean until you finish this current project?’
Her gaze slipped away. ‘I mean permanently, at least in time.’ Deep green eyes met his and the force of her tightly leashed emotion rocked him back in his seat. ‘After the first few years, your mother lived most of the time in the US. The country will survive if I move back to Edelforst.’
Benedikt felt his jaw sag, his mouth drop open. It wasn’t only what she said, it was the way she said it, the way she refused to let him in. Hefelther roiling emotions but she blocked him like a stranger.
He wanted to remind her they were married. That their relationship grew stronger and better every day. They were joint rulers of a country that needed them. Her words were a hammer blow to the chest. He could barely catch his breath.
‘Why, Lena? Tell me the truth. We’ve been happy together.’
Something shimmered in her eyes and hope stirred. But then she shook her head. ‘I thought I could do this, but I was wrong. I don’t want a dynastic marriage for the country’s sake. I want arealmarriage, not a power-sharing agreement. I want to be with a man I cantrust, someone I can believe in.’
Benedikt felt his blood freeze. ‘You don’t trust me?’
Her long pause carved a chasm through his soul. The fact she hurt him so easily should have surprised him, for he didn’tdoemotional relationships. But deep down he’d known Lena was different.Theywere different.
Their marriage wasn’t like any previous relationship, and that had nothing to do with duty or public expectations. It had everything to do with Lena and how she made him feel.
Yet now she swept all that aside, everything he’d felt and hoped, as if they meant nothing.
‘You don’t believe in me? In us?’
The words almost choked him. For the first time in his life he’d let down his guard. Being with Lena had made him want to believe in a better life, inthem.
‘How can I when you lie to me?’
His head jerked back as if she’d hit him. Didn’t she know him better than that? It was one more lacerating hurt. Each felt deeper and more devastating. Had nothing about their relationship been as it seemed?
How could he have been so wrong about her feelings? He knew he had little aptitude for deep relationships but he’d been so sure…
‘We promised each other honesty and I’ve never lied to you.’ His voice ground low as he forced out the words. ‘I’m not my father, Lena. How many times do I have to prove it?’
Finally hurt gave way to anger. Bruised pride surfaced, but it was no consolation for the anguish that twisted him inside out.
For the first time he’d opened himself fully to another person. He’d ignored the tough lessons that had taught self-reliance and a mistrust of emotion. He’d trusted and felt and believed in things he never had before.
‘You’re lying now, Benedikt.’ Her voice a curious mix of ice and heat as she spat out his name. ‘For two weeks you’ve known I had no claim to the throne and what did you do? Instead of telling me, you pushed me away, saying I should spend more time away from the palace. What was the plan? To gradually edge me out? Isolate me then divorce me? Well, don’t bother. I’ll divorce you and renounce my claim to the throne.’
Lena surged to her feet only to halt, swaying as if unsteady. Benedikt was at her side in a moment, grasping her arm and turning her to face him.
Despite her fiery words her face told another story and it broke his heart. Her chin crumpled, her mouth quivered as she blinked. ‘Let me go. I want to be alone.’
‘I don’t believe you.’
He loosened his grip so she could step away if she wanted. She didn’t move and hope leapt.
‘You’re right. I should have told you about that email immediately. I tried to bury it, hoping it would go away.’
‘Go away?’ Her glittering green gaze, sharp as a faceted emerald, snared his. ‘Don’t you mean hide it until the time was right to push me away fully?’ Her face pinched. ‘It doesn’t matter. I know the truth and that you want—’
‘You don’t know what I want!’
He tugged her to him, bodies colliding, and felt some of his impossible tension ease. This was where he needed her. He wrapped his arms around her, feeling a hit of satisfaction when she didn’t pull free.
‘I was never going to push you away, Lena. I don’t want you going anywhere.’