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So, her moment of truth had arrived. An hour ago, she had tried on clothes, changed her clothes like shedding a skin and morphing into someone else. The moth had left its dusty brown camouflaging cocoon to become a colourful butterfly. She could continue to deny her needs as she had for all of her adult life, but she no longer wanted to. It seemed…dishonest, disingenuous, delusional even to pretend her attraction to him didn’t exist. It did and she was going to own it.
The sun beat down on the top of her head like the spotlight was finally on her. Nature’s spotlight, sending the shadows she normally took shelter in scattering.
She looked up into Vic’s now inscrutable expression, her new-found courage wavering for a moment, but thankfully not completely failing. ‘Do you find that surprising? That I might enjoy a…a fling like everyone else?’ She was proud of how modern and hip and cool she sounded about it, in spite of her vocal stumble over the word. A fling was no big deal. Just about everyone had them these days. And if she didn’t do something about her sexual stasis, when would she ever get a chance as good as this?
Vic drew in a sharp-sounding breath and one of his hands raked a crooked pathway through the thickness of his hair. Subtle clues he was not quite as in command of himself as he had sounded. ‘You’re avirgin, for God’s sake, Addie.’ He said the word like it was something he had never encountered before. But then maybe he hadn’t. He was used to liaisons with women who dated casually like him. Women who were experienced in the no-strings, no expectation hook-ups and flings that satisfied a physical need without engaging any emotional ones.
‘But that’s why I think you’re the right person for me. I mean, not for ever, but at this point in my life, to help me get started, so to speak,’ she said.
He held her gaze for a long moment. She could almost hear the cogs of his brain running through the list of pros and cons. She wasn’t so innocent and naive that she couldn’t see there were negatives and positives about any liaison between them—there were, lots of them. How would they keep it a secret?Couldthey keep it a secret? Did she want to be known as yet another one of Vic’s casual lovers? She was used to flying under the radar but if she got involved with Vic, the press would find out sooner or later. They may have already done so. Everyone had a camera phone, and everyone knew who Vic was.
Vic let out another breath in a forceful stream. ‘And what do you think your brother and my sister would think of it?’
‘Does it matter what anyone thinks? It’s between us, as two consenting adults.’
Vic glanced at her mouth and then back to her eyes, but she could see his gaze hardening with resolve. ‘I didn’t buy those clothes as some sort of bribe to get you into my bed.’ There was a thread of anger woven through his tone, but she wasn’t sure if it was directed at her or himself. ‘Let’s get back to Katerina. We can talk about this at some other time.’
She walked back with him to the villa, her thoughts in turmoil. Had she made a prize fool of herself? It was so hard to know with Vic. Although she wasn’t experienced, she could still sense his attraction to her. The way he looked at her mouth all the time, the flare of his pupils, the heat in his gaze—weren’t those telltale signs of male desire? Or was she kidding herself? Was her crush on him distorting her perception and making her see things that weren’t actually there?
Vic had to stop himself from taking up Addie’s invitation. What business did he have toevenconsider the possibility? He was totally wrong for her. He was a playboy for pity’s sake. A man who had lost count of the number of women he had bedded. Addie had never been intimate with anyone. She was completely innocent and yet she had offered herself to him. But what could he offer her other than a fling? She wasn’t the fling type. Didn’t she deserve better than that, especially when it was her first foray into sex? He glanced at her as they walked back to the villa. Her girl-next-door attractiveness grew on him the more time he spent with her. He noticed things about her he had missed in the past: the sweet curve of her mouth, the way her lower lip was full and pillowy, the top one beautifully defined. The creamy texture of her skin, notwithstanding those cute freckles made her appear younger than twenty-eight. Whenever she smiled it was like a punch to the heart. Her smile lit up her tawny brown eyes and indented her cheeks with tiny dimples.
But while he knew he couldn’t offer Addie anything permanent, he was worried about her giving herself to someone who wouldn’t appreciate her or take care of her given how innocent she was. What if they only bedded her for the novelty of having slept with the daughter of the stunning and sultry Solange?
Vic enjoyed Addie’s company more than he thought he would. He loved watching her interact with Katerina. She was patient and loving and kind and was wise in a way many people these days were not. She had an intuitive sense of what Katerina needed and responded accordingly to those needs. She would make a wonderful mother one day in spite of the way she had been mothered. It was wrong of him to even consider the possibility of indulging in a fling with her. Not going to happen. Never.
You want her.
Vic pushed the thought back. Closed the door on it. Locked. Bolted. But like smoke, it drifted out and swirled around his consciousness, tempting him to touch her, to taste her, to tantalise her with the sensual delights of passion. The gentle breeze sent a waft of her perfume his way and his lower body tensed and tightened with primal lust. Why was he so damn obsessed with her? Was it because of their forced proximity? Had their being thrust together like this stirred feelings in him he would not normally experience when other people were around?
He had met her three times before this trip to Lake Como and while he had noticed her, he had not once on any of those occasions felt this potent tug of desire. A flicker, yes, because he was human and she was beautiful and cute in a refreshing way, but nothing like this primal stirring that refused to go away. It was as if the more he told himself she was forbidden, the more his body wanted her. Acting on it was out of the question. Unlike every other fling, this was not the sort of relationship he could walk away from with a clear conscience. Sure, he could show her a good time, introduce her to the delights of sensuality but he wasn’t interested in anything but a short-term relationship, and eventhatwould come with its own minefield. He couldn’t erase her from his life like he could with an acquaintance or a stranger. Addie was connected to him through the marriage of her brother to his half-sister. They were co-godparents to Katerina. There was a bond there that meant they would not be able to avoid each other. Sleeping with Addie would change everything. The dynamic between them would be different, inescapably different. For one thing, he would always be her first lover. It was dangerous to even consider the possibility.
Dangerous and unwise and yet so very tempting.
CHAPTER SIX
Katerina was stirringfrom her nap just as Addie came into the room. Vic had mumbled something about an important call he had to make and left her as soon as they got back to the villa. He had seemed preoccupied on the walk back, a brooding frown appearing on his forehead, and he had seemed disinclined to talk. Had she embarrassed him by offering herself to him?
The more she thought about it, the more she wanted him to be her first lover. It would be so much less threatening to sleep with him rather than a stranger. How did people do that these days? She couldn’t imagine hooking up with someone for sex. She needed to know the person, to like and admire them at the very least. She needed to be attracted to them both physically and emotionally. She needed to trust them, to feel confident they wouldn’t exploit her or use her. That’s why Vic was a perfect candidate. He ticked all the boxes. He would treat her with the utmost respect and while he might not promise anything long-term, she knew she could rely on him to make her first sexual experience a wonderful one. The chemistry between them was unmistakable—her skin tingled when he touched her, his eyes meeting hers sent a thrill through her entire body. No one had ever made her feel that way before.
Addie scooped Katerina up out of her cot and held her against her chest, her little chubby arms snaking their way around her neck.
‘Want Mummy.’ The hint of a wobble in the toddler’s voice plucked at her heartstrings, making them vibrate with a melancholic melody that reverberated all the way back to her lonely childhood.
‘I know, poppet,’ she said in a soothing tone, stroking the back of Katerina’s silky head of sweaty curls. ‘But she and Daddy will be back as soon as they can get here. And I’m sure they’ll video call you as soon as they can. That would make you feel better, wouldn’t it? To see their faces and to talk to them?’ She had already witnessed on many occasions Katerina’s adeptness at using her mother’s or father’s phone. Katerina had actually called her on a couple of occasions, much to her parents’ delight and immense pride. Katerina had probably only stumbled across her number in the call history by accident, but Isabella insisted her brilliant little daughter had not only recognised the number but Addie’s name, as well. Addie wondered if her own mother had ever been proud of her. Had there ever been a time or instance where she had done or said something that had made her mother swell with pride?
Katerina pulled away from cuddling into her neck to look at her with big woebegone chocolate-brown eyes. Her lashes were as long as spider legs and her bottom lip was pushed out in a little pout. Addie had never considered herself a particularly maternal person. Animals were her thing—puppies and kittens were her kryptonite but looking into Katerina’s eyes and holding her soft little body against her sent a ripple of maternal longing through her that took her completely and utterly by surprise. But then doubts trickled into her head, doubts that she would measure up. What sort of mother would she be? She hadn’t had the best role model. Solange wasn’t interested in being a grandmother to Marcus’s child, why would she be any different if Addie were to have a baby? And who on earth would she get to father her child? Vic was dead set against having children of his own.
Vic? The father of her imagined child? Who was she kidding? Her outrageously out of character suggestion of having a fling with him had hardly been met with enthusiasm, how enthusiastically would he embrace the suggestion of shared parenthood?
There was a sound behind her, and she turned with Katerina still in her arms to see Vic coming in. He smiled at the toddler and her heart did a flip-turn in her chest. She held her breath as he came closer and held out his arms to the toddler. Katerina buried her head into her neck and gripped Addie all the tighter, but not before a cheeky giggle escaped from her rosebud mouth. Addie was going to faint from lack of oxygen if she didn’t take a breath soon or Katerina didn’t ease up her stranglehold. Or maybe her lack of oxygen was more to do with how devastatingly attractive Vic was when he smiled.
‘Ah, I see how it goes,’ Vic said in a lighthearted tone. ‘But I thought we agreed on a swim this afternoon,sì?’
Katerina lifted her head up and beamed at him. ‘Simming!’
Even though Addie had a brand-new, designer no less, swimsuit upstairs, she was not so enthusiastic about the upcoming swimming session. It was one thing changing into a swimsuit behind the privacy of the change room curtains, quite another thing wearing said swimsuit when a tall, dark and deliciously handsome man was present. A man she was ridiculously attracted to. ‘I can see I’m going to be outnumbered here,’ she said.
Vic arched one of his eyebrows. ‘Not having second thoughts, are you?’