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Nate scrubs a hand over his jaw, avoiding my gaze. “Rough few nights.”

Which means he hasn’t slept at all. Medicine doesn’t help and he won’t try therapy. Says he can’t relive that. Can’t voice how badly he wishes he died with them. The only thing that helps is this half-in, half-out existence. Watching the world spin but never joining. He stopped leaning on us when he needed us most and instead of calling him on it, Connor and I let him drift.

The feeling of restlessness comes again, but this time, I don’t shut it down. Don’t let myself think about the consequences. I just offer the words I’ve been holding in for far too long.

“I want to look for an omega.”

It took time, a lot of conversations with Mama and weekly therapy sessions, but I’m finally at a place where I can admit I’m ready to try again. Shelby was a disaster, but that doesn’t mean every person we meet is going to be like that.

My whole life, I’ve dreamed of sharing my partner with my brothers. Finding someone who completes us in a way no one else has. I want them to be our center. Our heart.

I refuse to believe this is our fate.

We’re lost, but we don’t have to stay that way. Not if we find a North Star to guide us.

One silent heartbeat, then another before Nate puts down the notebook and leans against the car. “I’m listening.”

“We’re dysfunctional.” I rush on, knowing this is my one shot. “I think we should offer our pack as a heat relief option.”

“You can’t be serious.”

“Think about it, Nate. This would take the pressure off meeting omegas and offer a chance to find someone who works for all three of us. Someone to sit in silence with you, to draw with me, to challenge Connor.”

My heart races when there’s a flicker of something in him. It looks a hell of a lot like life. Like hope.

“You think we’ll find someone like that?” he asks, gaze on the shelves at my side as if he can’t handle looking me in the eye. Can’t handle it if I say no.

“Who knows, but I think we can admit staying as we are isn’t working now.”

That little notebook taps along the edge of the car as he mulls it over. “I’m not saying yes, but I want to know how it works. “

Nate listens as I tell him all about registering at a heat clinic, still distant but at least entertaining the idea. When I’m done, he lobs a grenade into my plan. “What about Connor?”

That’s the real problem. Since things went south, Connor’s been very anti-relationship, anti-love, anti-sex. He’s happiest getting himself off and not having to deal with other people. That goes double for omegas.

He went almost two years barely touching Nate and me. It took me dragging him to a therapist for Connor to evenaddressthe issues and while he used being “healed” to stop going, he’s still more distant than I’d like.

“I figured we could start small. Just signing up would be huge.” Even if that’s all that comes, just knowing that they’re willing to move forward is enough for now.

Nate stares at the ground as he debates. “I’ll back you on this, but I’m not sure about heat helping. I’m not interested in fucking around.”

“That’s fine,” I assure him, already knowing that would be his answer. I just need a majority for Connor to even consider it.

“You think he’ll agree?”

I can almost guarantee he won’t, but that won’t stop me. “Doesn’t matter. We need this.”

I know it and I think my brothers do too.

“When do you want to talk to him about this?”

Giving Nate time to overthink will be our downfall and I refuse to come this far and fail. Not when we’re so close to change.

“You done here?”

He stares at the car then chuckles; the sound untwisting something deep in my chest. “Yeah, why not.”

Excitement floods my system. I feel like I could bench press a car and run ten miles at the same time. I tailgate him the entire way home. When we arrive, I throw an arm over his shoulder, pulling him with me so he can’t run away the second we get out. To my shock, he leans in, embracing me easily. We haven’t even started, and already, things are changing for the better.