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Connor sighs, fingers digging into the bridge of his nose. “I don’t know if this is a good idea, Dez. Especially if Nate’s not joining us.”

Desperation rises. Connor can’t shut this down when we’re so fucking close to moving forward. It’s not the sex I’m missing; it’s the possibility ofmorethat’s seeping out of this house and my life at an alarming rate.

“What if we just signed up?” I ask. “Maybe we do it, maybe we don’t, but at least we’re not still stuck in the same fucking spot she left us in.”

The air chills and it feels like a ghost has entered the space with us.

“Don’t,” Connor warns, but I’m so sick of holding my tongue. So tired of trying to forget what’s happened as if it didn’t irrevocably change the landscape of our lives.

“She doesn’t deserve to take this from us too, Con.” My voice wavers, but I can’t stop. Maybe it’s years too late, but this conversation has been suffocating us silently for long enough. “Shelby was awful. She was a user and a gold digger, but that’s not our fault. Why are we still paying for her sins? When does it end? Because the future I see is bleak if we keep going like this.”

I tap his finger, the one he always fucking touches when he’s thinking. The place his wedding ring sat for so long and no longer occupies. “Don’t you want to be happy again? Don’t you want to get rid of her once and for all? Because I do, Connor. I need this.”

He doesn’t answer, staring at his hands for so long, I lose hope. There’s no way he’ll agree when he’s so set against ever dating again. “Sign us up.”

I jerk back, nearly toppling my chair. “Do you mean it?”

Connor’s eyes soften. “Yeah, brother. I mean it.”

For the first time in too long, I hug my best friend. “Thank you.”

Connor’s stiff as a board when I pull him up, but when Nate slings his arms around our shoulders, he settles. We swallow his smaller frame, but he doesn’t seem to mind. In fact, he leans in, taking comfort he’s shunned for so long. It feels ridiculous to say, but this hug feels like it’s bringing us back to life. Connecting this pack in a way I haven’t seen in too long.

Finally, Connor pulls away. His knuckles bleach from how tight his fists are, and I think he’s shaking. “I can’t guarantee anything, but if it doesn’t work, I want you to date outside the pack.”

“Connor—”

“I don’t want to hold you back. You deserve to find happiness, Dez.”

We all do. “Okay.”

Connor pulls me into another hug, and I swear, I nearly cry in relief. “While we’re here, is there anything else we need to discuss?”

Ending now is the best choice, but I figure, in for a penny.

“You’re both here, but you’re not and I’ve been trying not to feel like I’m in this by myself,” I admit, knowing they need to hear this but not enjoying being the one to say it.

“I’m sorry you’ve felt so alone. It wasn’t my intention.”

“Mine either,” Nate says, knocking his head gently against mine. “How can we fix it?”

“Be here more. I’m not saying no more nights at the garage but limit them. Maybe family dinner once a week until we’re settled.”

“Agreed. Anything else?”

“Actually, yeah.” While Connor’s standing in front of us, Nate’s clinging to me like a life raft. His chest moves with a fortifying breath. “I think I need to go back to therapy. I don’t feel any better than when they died and I’m worried. What if I never get better? What if we never find our person because I’m too fucked up?”

When I decided today was the day to spill my secrets and ask for the world, I never expected an outcome like this. Nate asking for help, leaning on us. It’s beyond my wildest dreams.

“You’re not fucked up,” Connor snaps, stepping close when Nate tries to look away. “You’re traumatized. Considering what happened, I think that’s totally normal.”

“But I didn’t lose everyone,” Nate argues. “I still have you, and I want to get better. For our pack and our future. It’s just hard to do it on my own.”

“So, therapy,” I say softly.

“Yeah, therapy.” Even saying it seems to draw away some of the darkness in our youngest packmate.

My eyes well, and I pull Connor back to us and hold them both a little tighter. “I’m so fucking proud of you both.”