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Story: Love Me Knot: Part One

Those memories mean so much now that he’s gone.

Daphne pulls me farther and farther away from the crowd until she finds what she’s looking for. She pushes me down onto a hidden bench and climbs on my lap.

Grief and I are old friends. Companions in a way that my brothers could never be. It’s sat heavy in my body for so long, I’m not sure it’ll ever truly leave. But when Daphne wraps herself around me, I feel it lift a little. It still hurts, but it’s not as stark. Or maybe for once, I just don’t feel alone because she’s here in the silence with me.

We stay like that for a long time, Daphne giving me comfort, as if she knows what’s coming. I either need to tell her or stop altogether and I want Daphne to see me for all the pieces I am. All the things I’ve lost.

“When I was seventeen, my little sister was at a sleepover with her friends one night. She did it often and the family was safe, so my parents let her go.” My voice cracks and those arms tighten, shoring me up for what’s coming. “Ella was scared of storms. Rain, sleet, hail, ice. No matter how small, she freaked.”

“It stormed that night,” Daphne guesses quietly.

“Yeah. Ella called in the middle of the night wanting to come home. Dad woke me to see if I wanted to come get her, but I said no. Barely felt him and my mom come in to kiss my head, tell me they loved me before I was asleep again.” My throat constricts and Daphne’s touch does too. The pressure feels so good, almost as if she’s holding me together.

“They hit a patch of black ice on the way back. They would’ve been okay, but they’d taken the brakes in to get worked on the week before and the garage used a cheap part. It broke when Dad tried to correct the spin.”

There was no way to stop. They hit the guard wall and my whole life was gone in an instant.

Daph’s voice is tight and tears streak down her face. I hate seeing her in pain, but it means something that it’s for me. “I can’t believe how painful that must have been.”

“Hardest moment of my life. I didn’t want to live without them.”

The admission burns, as it always does. I was never actually suicidal; I just didn’t want to be here without them.

“There was no fight left in me after that. No strength. I carried on because I had to, because Mama B wouldn’t let me fade and my brothers needed me, but?—”

“You don’t have to explain. I understand.” Daphne cups my stubbled cheeks, rubbing away tears that spill across them. Our faces mirrors of grief.

“You make me want to live again,” I murmur, clutching her tighter. Needing her inside me all the time. Does she feel like this? Like she’s not whole unless we’re together? My therapist would say it’s unhealthy, but what the fuck do they know?

This is life. Pure, unfiltered life. It’s been so long since I’ve felt it, and I don’t want to let it go.

“You should know, I’m in therapy for everything with my family and how I handled it. I’m not cured, but every day is a step forward.”

Daph’s eyes glitter with pride as she kisses me. “That’s amazing. If I can support you, let me know.”

“Just keep being you, kitten. That’s all I need.”

Well, I need her in my bed and bitten into my pack, but that can wait a little longer. Especially now that I know she wants us, too.

“I’m sorry if this is too much, but I had to tell you. The thought of losing you…it kills me, Daph. Absolutely wrecks me. I’m not sure I could handle that.”

She kisses me, this soft thing, lips moving against mine as she heals me a little more. “You know, in everything that went down with Connor, I knew I didn’t want to walk away from you or Dez. You make me feel so seen. So heard. I’d be a fool to leave you, Nate Morgan.”

As always, hearing my name feels like heaven and hell.

“Morgan was my family name,” I tell her. “Connor and Dez didn’t want me to lose it, so when they packed up, they asked if I’d be okay if they became Morgans, too. I cried for like an hour.”

Daphne laughs, drawing out my own. “I hate my last name. Hated my exes’ too, but having my parents’ again pisses me off.”

“You’ll change it someday.”

Daphne Morgan has a nice ring to it.

She snuggles deeper into my hold. “Is there anything else you want to tell me?”

The brief explanation of my whacked-out instincts seems to be enough, but I’m not sure she really understands just howoffmy shit is. Then again, I climbed up the side of a house just to get to her, so maybe she does.

“Does this make things harder for you?” Daphne motions between us.

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