Page 231

When Dez finally texts that he and Nate have landed, I pretend everything is fine. I don’t ask about Connor, but after another call to his cell sends me to voicemail, I decide to wait for my pack lead to reach out.

I sit there in my destroyed business, eyes unseeing as the light changes from midday brightness to afternoon glow and through it all, my phone stays silent. My store, empty.

No alpha coming to fulfill his promise. Too busy at work to bother texting the omega he says he cares about.

When Nate eventually calls, I can’t bring myself to answer. If I do, I’ll crack, and I can’t keep doing that for these alphas. For men in general. I’m so tired of giving them my heart, only to have them return it in pieces. So tired of being the last on a long list of priorities and being expected to accept it.

Dez and Nate have never made me feel that way, but they’re Connor’s packmates. His brothers. Why should they have to swoop in and fix thingsagainwhen they aren’t the people breaking shit in the first place?

Especially when I know this is my fault.

I asked too much. I didn’t listen to my instincts or my gut. My senses dragged me toward Connor, but his actions were bright red flags. Definite indicators he hasn’t been as interested in this courtship as me. Anyone can send flowers and things, but the real test is taking time for one another. Getting to know each other.

The last two weeks and our courting date aside, when has Connor done that? Almost never and that’s answer enough.

Eventually, I call an emergency plumber who fixes the pipe for me. On examination, she says the pipe was cut strangely, but that makes sense considering we threatened to report the crew. Yet another thing I did wrong. The swipe of my credit card hurts my pride more than my wallet.

This disappointment is a familiar friend, an aching hole in the center of my being that can never be filled. It just sits there, waiting to swallow me alive. I thought the lonely days and stupid little lies were over when I left Pack Parker. That I could trust the words from Connor’s mouth because his brothers care so deeplyfor him. Because they said time and time again as we lay in my nest that he’s a good man. Thebestman.

Now, I’m not so sure. He promised he wouldn’t let me down, and he did. Another day wasted on an alpha who couldn’t keep their word.

All I want to do is curl up in my nest and sleep until tomorrow comes. Yet, I can’t leave. Can’t give up hope that this was a mistake and my alpha will be here any second.

Passing the time, I look back at every interaction with Connor since we met. His distance after the heat and the cursed dinner. How his version of courting involved something where he didn’t have to be present. How work became his escape to avoid being with me. Whatever he’s been hiding from me.

Reminders pile up, painting a new picture of the man I put my faith in. One who keeps his own counsel and does the bare minimum to maintain a relationship with the omega his brothers want. A man who only said he wanted to court when he felt like he’d lose them. A man who would cut off his own arm if it would make his pack happy.

Connor’s actions aren’t what an alpha courting his scent match should be. Nate and Dez’s reactions to me, our interactions, are leaps and bounds different. Genuine. Connected. Caring. I know I shouldn’t compare them, but how can I not when I’ve lived this lie before? The one where alphas pretend they want me. Connor’s just better at acting than my exes ever were.

Maybe that’s what hurts the most. He made me want him. Made me crave a future with his pack. Made me believe I could have it with empty platitudes to keep me compliant and under his thumb so he can have his brothers and the life he wants, even if he has to take me with it.

I stay at Nymph until the moon is the only light in the sky, but Connor never calls. Never texts. Never comes.

I’m not surprised. I’m not even disappointed. I’m so fucking numb that I can’t even feel my heart break, the piece with his name on it splintering from the rest.

With one last text, I leave my phone on the desk and lock the doors as I leave.

Funny how a few hours ago, I thought nothing could break me. I thought I could get through anything the world threw at me as long as I had my men. Had Connor.

What a fucking idiot.

The doom spiral steals my thoughts, but I don’t care anymore. Let it take me because I’m so sick of being in my head right now. Wondering if he’s okay then telling myself he doesn’t give a shit about me.

I just want it all to go away.

Stumbling to my car, I make it inside before I realize I’m crying. The winter chill nearly freezes my lashes together, but whatever. It’s just one more thing on top of the shittiest day I’ve had in a while.

Cold air blows through my vents as I pull out of the parking lot and though traffic’s almost nonexistent, I hit the red light anyway. Because of course I do.

For a moment, I hesitate. If I turn left, I go home to the duplex. The pack. Anotherhow do I fix thisconversation that ends with no tangible results. If I turn right, it takes me downtown and away from the future I thought I was building.

The light turns green, and I speed down the road. I don’t look back, even as my hands shake and my sobs fill the cab with so much pain, I turn the radio on high just to drown it out.

The duplex is just another skeleton of a dream I never should’ve reached for. There’s nothing for me there anymore.