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Story: Love Me Knot: Part One
In my weakest moments, the ones where everything I’ve done wrong creeps into my head, doubt whispers that I’ll fuck up this pack like I ruined the last. That I’m a waste of time and space. But I’m not.
The Parkers kept me sheltered and hidden because if I’d been able to see the world for what it was, I would’ve understood that they were horrible alphas. Terrible men. And maybe, I’d have left sooner. So, they did whatever it took to trap me in their stifling, small life.
“It wasn’t my fault.” I swear, the moon brightens, bathing me in a glow that feels like rebirth.
“It wasneveryour fault.” Dez holds me tighter, earnest and steadfast and all mine. This is an alpha who would rather cut himself to ribbons than keep me locked away. Who wants to celebrate every little thing I do like it’s a revelation.
My heart races as I realize just how different life could be with him at my side. How much joy there is. “Ask me again.”
He dips my head back so he can see my face. “Daphne Barnes, will you be my date to my next art show? I want everyone to see that I’ve claimed the most perfect omega as mine.”
Fuck him for making it so easy to fall and also,thank god.
“Yes.” I can’t help the grin sweeping my face and I don’t want to.
Dez smiles, too, brushing his fingers over my face, my arms, my legs. “It may just be us, not the whole pack.”
“Why would I care about that?” Alone or with the others, I just want Dez.
This time, he’s the one looking unsure. He seems to debate internally for a long time. “I want to tell you about something, but it involves another omega. Do you want to do it now, or wait?”
I stiffen, almost pulling away before I catch myself. I’ve been preparing for this moment since Connor’s apology. Not that it matters. Nothing will change my opinion that this wonderful, handsome, talented and incredibly kind human is mine. “Tell me now, if you’re ready.”
Dez holds me tighter, sucking in deep breaths of my scent to ground himself. “How much has Connor told you about Shelby?”
I fucking hate that name. If I could carve it out of my mates’ mouths, I would. “High school sweethearts, married and divorced. Scent-sympathetic. He said she…”
“Didn’t want me.” The burn of it obviously still stings so many years later. “Connor wasn’t the only one scent-sympathetic with her.”
I try not to flinch, knowing it’s unfair to react that way when I had my own scent matches before. And to be honest, I knew it was coming. Nate mentioned he wasn’t a match, but Dez has been quiet about the whole situation.
I can’t imagine being with a scent match who denied me.
Then again, maybe I can.
He looks out at the trees, and I let him keep that mental distance. “Shelby was spoiled by her parents and Connor alike. I admit, I joined in on it. Here was this pretty omega who was going to be mine one day. Of course I’d treat her well.
“When she said she wasn’t ready to be intimate with both of us, I understood. We were young, and she needed time. Noproblem. For years, it seemed like Shelby was going to claim me, too. We lived together and went out on dates, but I was never allowed to enter her nest. Never asked to help with heats. I had to sit outside the door while Connor struggled alone.”
Jesus. Packs became the norm due to an unexpected birth decline of omegas, with us outnumbered by alphas and betas nearly four to one. Taking care of an omega alone is a gargantuan feat, one that few alphas can manage. Something tells me Connor wasn’t one of them.
“It was hell,” Dez admits. “The longer it went, the worse things got until the dates slowed, then stopped. Our group chat withered and died. Eventually, Shelby and I were ghosts haunting the same house without a single interaction between us. I thought it was my fault.”
Empathy bleeds between us, my heart scored and raw for this sweet alpha. “Why didn’t you date outside the pack?”
“She made it clear that anyone else would not be tolerated. Connor and I agreed because we assumed she’d get comfortable with me eventually.”
But she didn’t. “What about when it was over? During the heat, you mentioned you hadn’t dated in years. Why not?”
“We signed up for heat helping at Revelry, but when I went in with Connor for orientation, it didn’t go well. I decided not to push again. Thinking about searching for our match without my pack didn’t feel right.”
My heart breaks at the loneliness coating every word, a feeling I know so intimately and wouldn’t wish on anyone, especially not this incredible man.
Dez sighs. “Connor struggled under the weight of Shelby’s expectations. We were building Morgan’s Restoration and often staggered home in the early morning, only for her to immediately grab him and disappear into the nest. He was exhausted constantly with no time to recharge.”
“He mentioned they divorced after she admitted she was only interested in him.”
His laugh is bitter. “That’s putting it lightly. Their final fight was cataclysmic, with him kicking her out of the house and refusing to speak to her again. Shelby’s betrayal was a monumental blow for Connor. He’d tried so hard to make this pack work, to create a life for all of us, and the loss of it was devastating.”
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