Page 62

“Yep. In fact, I’ll go now.” The words nearly trip out of my mouth as I squirrel my way out of a tangle of limbs, hoping the room’s smell masks how fucking worthless I feel.

“Hey, wait. Let me start the water or—” Connor reaches for me, and my skin literally crawls at the idea of letting his hand connect.

“I’m good,” I shout, practically running away while my mind screamsdon’t let him touch you!

The door closes, but I’m not sure if I feel better or worse now that I’m alone. The bathroom’s prettier than I expected from the hazy recollections of my forced cleanings. Battery-powered candles give the room some glow without burning sensitive eyes. The large claw-foot bathtub looks divine, but I don’t have the energy to haul myself out later. The shower’s too big for a lone omega, but it’ll have to do.

The water relaxes me as I scrub with specialty omega body wash specially designed to heal any bruising or cuts. Marathon sex is messy and dangerous, don’t let anyone tell you otherwise. Even so, I’d do it again.

Despite Connor’s attitude putting a damper on my afterglow, I’ve never felt soshiny.Is this what you’re supposed to feel after a heat? Bubbly and bright and so fucking happy.

And the whole thing only lasted four days.

When I was with Pack Parker, there were lots of conversations about me not getting enough pheromones or that maybe three alphas weren’t enough, but I see now what the problem was. My exes didn’t give me enough attention. It wasput Tab A in Slot B and proceed to orgasm.They constantlywent out of their way to belittle my needs and instincts. I was never settled. Never satiated.

Pack Morgan couldn’t be more different.

Even now, it’s almost overwhelming how much I crave these men, but if Connor’s anything to go off, I need to let it go. This agreement came with a deadline we’re quickly approaching. Heat only, no extensions.

A quiet knock interrupts my thoughts, something about the hesitancy telling me exactly who it is.

“Come in.”

Fuck, I shouldn’t have said that.Please go away. Please.

The door creaks open, cold air rushing into the steam and I shiver. The shower’s enclosed in fancy tech glass that can go opaque. Since I didn’t do that, Connor gets a full view of my wet, naked body.

Jeans and a loose t-shirt cover most of his tattoos, except the compass rose across one forearm and two black bands ringing the other. He looks delicious and distant as he averts his eyes. “I brought you warm towels.”

I wait for him to say something else, to look at me, but he doesn’t.

“Leave them on the counter, please.” I give Connor my back and start deep conditioning my hair. Someone grabbed a few things for it, including the type of brush I usually use, so I won’t have to wait until I’m home to deal with the rat’s nest. “Thanks for the hair stuff.”

“Sure. Need help?”

“It’s better if I do it myself.” Truthfully, I’m too exhausted for more than detangling, but I’ve learned that people without curly hair don’t know what to do with it. Besides, I still don’t want him to touch me.

I feel Connor watching me, goosebumps littering my skin despite the hot water. Finally, he breaks the silence. “And you’re…okay?”

No.“Fine. You?”

“Fine.”

Look at what a pair we are. A duet of liars in this pretty little bathroom. Fine, but not fine. Together, but so far apart.

My chest cracks and this hollow space opens up, filling with air and things I wish I could say. It’s as familiar to me as breathing because for years, this is how I lived. Wanting someone who didn’t want me back. Begging someone who couldn’t care less.

I can’t do this again.

“You can go. I’ll be out in a second.”

If Connor hears the threat of tears in my voice, he says nothing. Just shuffles toward the door and shuts it behind him.

The loss hits immediately, and I let myself wonder what it’s going to be like when I’m home alone later. That cozy bedroom I’ve claimed as mine won’t feel right without them, but I’ll have to deal.

For one minute, I let myself cry about the situation, blaming post-heat bullshit the entire time. There’s no other reason I’d be upset over an alpha leaving me alone when I clearly wanted him to stay. Or his brothers being so wonderful when I obviously can’t keep them.

Nope, it’s hormones. Gotta be.