Page 54
Story: Ivan
Instead of lying down with me, as I imagined he would, he sat on the side of the bed, staring at me like I was a specimen in a lab. “Are you okay, Emmy?” he asked, but his tone wasn’t soft, like I’d expected. It was clipped, remote.
“I’m totally fine,” I said, desperate to put him at ease. I raised my hand to rest it on his forearm, but he flinched and stood up abruptly.
He took a deep breath, but his expression was hard to interpret. “Do you have a towel?” he asked, looking around my room.
I sat up and pointed to one hanging by my dresser, my chest knotted with discomfort, self-consciousness, and crashing disappointment. Did he regret doing this?
He grabbed the towel and quickly returned. I thought he’d wipe me down, but instead he thrust it in my direction, and I was suddenly unsure if he intended me to clean up or cover myself.
“Uh…” I said, awkwardly holding the towel.
“Clean up with it, Emmy,” he prompted. “You got some pajamas, or something?” he asked, again, making me feel like he was giving himself tasks in order to avoid talking to me.
“Yeah, but—”
My response was interrupted by a loud banging on the door. We stared at each other, eyes wide.
“Emmy! I forgot my keys because we went to the party together,” Delaney yelled from the other side of the door.
My eyes widened and I hopped out of bed and ran to my dresser, throwing open my drawer and pulling out the first pajama set I came across—a crop-topped, spaghetti strapped pink camisole and matching shorts. Something I usually only wear in the dead of summer. Jesus.
“Uh, hold on a sec,” I said, quickly pulling the clothes on while Ivan quietly put on his jacket. It was the only article of clothing he’d fully removed during our time on my bed. I didn't think he even took off his shoes.
I threw open the door and Will and Delaney stood there. Delaney, looking contrite at possibly interrupting us and Will immediately craning his head to see if Ivan was still here, then smiling smugly when he saw that he was.
“I’m so sorry, Emmy, but it was getting late, and I was getting tired and had nowhere to go.”
“I offered to take her to my place, but I think she had a suspicion I would end up hitting on her all night,” Will said, shooting Laney a charming grin.
Delaney giggled at his flirting. I was sort of surprised she didn’t take him up on his offer, but I suppose she was technically still dating Drew.
“Oh, it’s okay, we were just talking,” I replied in a way that I hoped was convincing.
It was weird to have Will know our relationship was fake, while Delaney believed it was real. It was like a tightrope where I didn’t want Will to know we’d fooled around, but didn’t want Delaney to think I was acting weird because why wouldn’t I hook up with my own boyfriend?
Laney burst out laughing. “Uh huh, tell that to the...” she leaned in and pushed my hair to the side. “Bite mark? Hickey? I’m not sure which it is, but you definitely didn’t get it from ‘talking,’” she said, using her hands to make the quote marks.
I slapped my hand over the spot, knowing exactly where it was, as Ivan’s mouth found its way there repeatedly while we were fooling around.
“Oh that, yeah, well, we may have kissed a little,” I said, chuckling awkwardly. I shot Ivan a look, wondering when he was going to jump in here, but he looked like he’d turned into a statue during our conversation, his expression remote and troubled.
“Let’s go, Antonoff,” Ivan finally said. I guess Antonoff was Will’s last name.
Will looked like he was going to say some smart-ass comment, but the look on Ivan’s face had him holding his tongue. “Yeah, sure. Good night, ladies. It was an unexpected pleasure hanging out with you tonight.”
“Thanks for the food, Will,” Delaney said, simpering at him. Good lord, she was smitten.
“No problem, Solnyshko,” he replied, and Laney melted into a puddle on the floor. “See you, Emmy.”
“Bye, Will,” I murmured, all of my attention focused on Ivan and the truly unsettling vibes he was putting out. Both men made their way toward the door, but Delaney stopped Ivan.
“Aren’t you going to kiss Emmy goodbye, Ivan?” Laney asked in surprise.
Ivan stopped, then turned and walked back to me. I stared into his eyes, trying to find a way to connect with him, but his expression was shuttered. He put a light hand at my waist, his thumb sliding over toward the other hickey that was still sticky with his come. His thumb rubbed against that spot as he leaned over and kissed me softly.
I wanted to thread my fingers through his hair and touch him in all the ways he hadn’t allowed me to when we were lying on my bed, but I didn’t because I didn’t want him to pull away. I was learning. It didn’t matter, because all too soon, he was pulling away anyway.
I stared at him feeling swamped in confusion and distress, but his mouth flattened into a grim line. “Good night, Emmy,” he said softly.
“I’m totally fine,” I said, desperate to put him at ease. I raised my hand to rest it on his forearm, but he flinched and stood up abruptly.
He took a deep breath, but his expression was hard to interpret. “Do you have a towel?” he asked, looking around my room.
I sat up and pointed to one hanging by my dresser, my chest knotted with discomfort, self-consciousness, and crashing disappointment. Did he regret doing this?
He grabbed the towel and quickly returned. I thought he’d wipe me down, but instead he thrust it in my direction, and I was suddenly unsure if he intended me to clean up or cover myself.
“Uh…” I said, awkwardly holding the towel.
“Clean up with it, Emmy,” he prompted. “You got some pajamas, or something?” he asked, again, making me feel like he was giving himself tasks in order to avoid talking to me.
“Yeah, but—”
My response was interrupted by a loud banging on the door. We stared at each other, eyes wide.
“Emmy! I forgot my keys because we went to the party together,” Delaney yelled from the other side of the door.
My eyes widened and I hopped out of bed and ran to my dresser, throwing open my drawer and pulling out the first pajama set I came across—a crop-topped, spaghetti strapped pink camisole and matching shorts. Something I usually only wear in the dead of summer. Jesus.
“Uh, hold on a sec,” I said, quickly pulling the clothes on while Ivan quietly put on his jacket. It was the only article of clothing he’d fully removed during our time on my bed. I didn't think he even took off his shoes.
I threw open the door and Will and Delaney stood there. Delaney, looking contrite at possibly interrupting us and Will immediately craning his head to see if Ivan was still here, then smiling smugly when he saw that he was.
“I’m so sorry, Emmy, but it was getting late, and I was getting tired and had nowhere to go.”
“I offered to take her to my place, but I think she had a suspicion I would end up hitting on her all night,” Will said, shooting Laney a charming grin.
Delaney giggled at his flirting. I was sort of surprised she didn’t take him up on his offer, but I suppose she was technically still dating Drew.
“Oh, it’s okay, we were just talking,” I replied in a way that I hoped was convincing.
It was weird to have Will know our relationship was fake, while Delaney believed it was real. It was like a tightrope where I didn’t want Will to know we’d fooled around, but didn’t want Delaney to think I was acting weird because why wouldn’t I hook up with my own boyfriend?
Laney burst out laughing. “Uh huh, tell that to the...” she leaned in and pushed my hair to the side. “Bite mark? Hickey? I’m not sure which it is, but you definitely didn’t get it from ‘talking,’” she said, using her hands to make the quote marks.
I slapped my hand over the spot, knowing exactly where it was, as Ivan’s mouth found its way there repeatedly while we were fooling around.
“Oh that, yeah, well, we may have kissed a little,” I said, chuckling awkwardly. I shot Ivan a look, wondering when he was going to jump in here, but he looked like he’d turned into a statue during our conversation, his expression remote and troubled.
“Let’s go, Antonoff,” Ivan finally said. I guess Antonoff was Will’s last name.
Will looked like he was going to say some smart-ass comment, but the look on Ivan’s face had him holding his tongue. “Yeah, sure. Good night, ladies. It was an unexpected pleasure hanging out with you tonight.”
“Thanks for the food, Will,” Delaney said, simpering at him. Good lord, she was smitten.
“No problem, Solnyshko,” he replied, and Laney melted into a puddle on the floor. “See you, Emmy.”
“Bye, Will,” I murmured, all of my attention focused on Ivan and the truly unsettling vibes he was putting out. Both men made their way toward the door, but Delaney stopped Ivan.
“Aren’t you going to kiss Emmy goodbye, Ivan?” Laney asked in surprise.
Ivan stopped, then turned and walked back to me. I stared into his eyes, trying to find a way to connect with him, but his expression was shuttered. He put a light hand at my waist, his thumb sliding over toward the other hickey that was still sticky with his come. His thumb rubbed against that spot as he leaned over and kissed me softly.
I wanted to thread my fingers through his hair and touch him in all the ways he hadn’t allowed me to when we were lying on my bed, but I didn’t because I didn’t want him to pull away. I was learning. It didn’t matter, because all too soon, he was pulling away anyway.
I stared at him feeling swamped in confusion and distress, but his mouth flattened into a grim line. “Good night, Emmy,” he said softly.
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