Page 126
Story: Ivan
My jaw dropped. Shock permeated my entire body, making my knees weak. Ivan wrapped his arm around my waist, clearly sensing my impending collapse. “You won’t allow it?”
“Jessica—” Ivan started but was quickly shot down by Mom holding up her hand to halt whatever he was going to say. I found this rather annoying because I was deeply curious about what he was going to say. He was not exactly known for his oratory skills.
“No, I don’t want to hear it. No offense, Ivan, but there is no way I can allow Emmy to date someone with your…career. Absolutely not.”
Everyone was utterly silent for a full minute, no doubt the same thought rolling around our minds. You had sex with, and got pregnant by, Thomas Armstrong. She didn’t exactly have the moral high ground on this issue.
I shot another look at Hannah and found her as stupefied as I was. “I don’t understand, you’re okay with Nikolai dating Hannah.” I didn’t want to throw Nikolai under the bus, but the inconsistency was glaring.
Hannah swallowed but nodded her head. “Yeah, Mom, you’ve never said anything about him even after we explained who his father was. You definitely never suggested we break up.”
“Yes, was. Nikolai is in college now, he’s not in the Russian mob. But Ivan…” she trailed off, shaking her head. “I think you should come home with me, Emmy.” She put her hand on my arm and gave me a consoling smile. Ivan’s arm slid around my waist and tightened as if my mother might try to throw me over her shoulder and run out of here.
Part of me wanted to appease my mother’s perspective and pacify her fears. Another part of me wanted to make her understand that I was safe with Ivan, that we were in love with each other and most definitely not breaking up. Mostly, I wanted to scream that the only danger I’m in right now is because of her.
“I love him. He’s good to me, has…done so much for me.” There were so many ways that Ivan had cared for me, protected me, but since my mother knew nothing of the danger I faced, I could hardly enumerate them.
“No, Emmy, you’re only eighteen. You’re still so young. He’s a man and you’re still a girl. You’ll understand one day when you’re older.”
My mother’s voice, a mixture of pleading and demanding, was doing nothing to calm my temper. The bitter anger that had been burning inside me since first seeing her tonight now writhed in my chest like snakes, demanding to be set free.
My fist clenched as I tried to rein it in, but it was no use. “You’ve got to be fucking kidding me!”
My mom’s head snapped back, her mouth slack with shock. “Wh-what?”
“Emmy, I think—” Ivan started.
“Uh, Em—” Hannah simultaneously interjected.
It was no use. I was at the end of my rope in all ways. “No! No fucking way! This is unbelievable. You are lecturing me on who I should date?” I asked, my voice full of scorn. “Hannah’s dad was a deadbeat drug addict, and my dad is some psychopathic criminal overlord. Why would I let you decide who I should date?”
My mom stared at me, utterly stricken. Her face was devoid of color, and she swayed slightly, as though she might collapse at any minute. “What did you just say?” she rasped.
Shit. Now that I’d blurted out these accusations, I felt like a total asshole for sending my mother into what looked like a complete state of shock. Regret fell on top of me like an avalanche, quickly realizing that confronting her in the middle of an auditorium at my concert where my creepy new dad could be lurking anywhere was probably not the right move.
“Mom…look, I-I’m sorry,” I began.
“I’ve got to go.” My mother’s distress appeared to only be increasing, creating greater pressure in me to alleviate it for her. Her face was colorless with shock and she slowly backed away from our group as if we’d suddenly become a roaming band of terrorists. “I need to…” She didn’t even finish her sentence, merely turned and bolted out the door.
Hannah and I exchanged panicked looks before she, followed by Nikolai, chased our mom out the door.
I slumped and covered my face with my hands, unable to believe what just happened. I barely registered Ivan pulling me in his arms, but the minute I felt his arms tighten around me, tears came spilling out. And they didn’t stop.
Fortunately, everyone else seemed to understand I needed space and simply disappeared as Ivan lifted me in his arms and carried me like a child to his car. I buried my face in his neck, tears still pouring down my face as emotions that I’d been managing for weeks exploded like a supernova.
Ivan somehow managed to open the car door and place me inside. I didn’t want to let go of him, but he gently pulled my hands from around his neck and buckled my seat belt. He cradled my face with such care it brought more tears to my eyes. He diligently swiped them away with his thumbs as I hiccupped and hyperventilated.
“Shh. Calm down, malyshka,” he murmured, then placed a gentle kiss on my forehead. “We’ll sort things out with your mom.”
I nodded, completely incapable of speech. Ivan got in the car, and I found myself desperate for contact with him, my hand reaching out immediately. He seemed to perfectly understand what I needed and offered me his arm, which I wrapped my arm around like a koala bear on a stalk of bamboo.
Ivan kissed the top of my head and took his phone out and connected it to the car. Suddenly the car was filled with the sounds of Florence Welch’s beautiful, soaring voice. My head jerked up and swung around to stare at Ivan.
“Cosmic Love?” This was about the only turn of events that could have pulled me out of the pitiful state of mind I was currently drowning in.
“Yeah.”
“You have this song, too?”
“Jessica—” Ivan started but was quickly shot down by Mom holding up her hand to halt whatever he was going to say. I found this rather annoying because I was deeply curious about what he was going to say. He was not exactly known for his oratory skills.
“No, I don’t want to hear it. No offense, Ivan, but there is no way I can allow Emmy to date someone with your…career. Absolutely not.”
Everyone was utterly silent for a full minute, no doubt the same thought rolling around our minds. You had sex with, and got pregnant by, Thomas Armstrong. She didn’t exactly have the moral high ground on this issue.
I shot another look at Hannah and found her as stupefied as I was. “I don’t understand, you’re okay with Nikolai dating Hannah.” I didn’t want to throw Nikolai under the bus, but the inconsistency was glaring.
Hannah swallowed but nodded her head. “Yeah, Mom, you’ve never said anything about him even after we explained who his father was. You definitely never suggested we break up.”
“Yes, was. Nikolai is in college now, he’s not in the Russian mob. But Ivan…” she trailed off, shaking her head. “I think you should come home with me, Emmy.” She put her hand on my arm and gave me a consoling smile. Ivan’s arm slid around my waist and tightened as if my mother might try to throw me over her shoulder and run out of here.
Part of me wanted to appease my mother’s perspective and pacify her fears. Another part of me wanted to make her understand that I was safe with Ivan, that we were in love with each other and most definitely not breaking up. Mostly, I wanted to scream that the only danger I’m in right now is because of her.
“I love him. He’s good to me, has…done so much for me.” There were so many ways that Ivan had cared for me, protected me, but since my mother knew nothing of the danger I faced, I could hardly enumerate them.
“No, Emmy, you’re only eighteen. You’re still so young. He’s a man and you’re still a girl. You’ll understand one day when you’re older.”
My mother’s voice, a mixture of pleading and demanding, was doing nothing to calm my temper. The bitter anger that had been burning inside me since first seeing her tonight now writhed in my chest like snakes, demanding to be set free.
My fist clenched as I tried to rein it in, but it was no use. “You’ve got to be fucking kidding me!”
My mom’s head snapped back, her mouth slack with shock. “Wh-what?”
“Emmy, I think—” Ivan started.
“Uh, Em—” Hannah simultaneously interjected.
It was no use. I was at the end of my rope in all ways. “No! No fucking way! This is unbelievable. You are lecturing me on who I should date?” I asked, my voice full of scorn. “Hannah’s dad was a deadbeat drug addict, and my dad is some psychopathic criminal overlord. Why would I let you decide who I should date?”
My mom stared at me, utterly stricken. Her face was devoid of color, and she swayed slightly, as though she might collapse at any minute. “What did you just say?” she rasped.
Shit. Now that I’d blurted out these accusations, I felt like a total asshole for sending my mother into what looked like a complete state of shock. Regret fell on top of me like an avalanche, quickly realizing that confronting her in the middle of an auditorium at my concert where my creepy new dad could be lurking anywhere was probably not the right move.
“Mom…look, I-I’m sorry,” I began.
“I’ve got to go.” My mother’s distress appeared to only be increasing, creating greater pressure in me to alleviate it for her. Her face was colorless with shock and she slowly backed away from our group as if we’d suddenly become a roaming band of terrorists. “I need to…” She didn’t even finish her sentence, merely turned and bolted out the door.
Hannah and I exchanged panicked looks before she, followed by Nikolai, chased our mom out the door.
I slumped and covered my face with my hands, unable to believe what just happened. I barely registered Ivan pulling me in his arms, but the minute I felt his arms tighten around me, tears came spilling out. And they didn’t stop.
Fortunately, everyone else seemed to understand I needed space and simply disappeared as Ivan lifted me in his arms and carried me like a child to his car. I buried my face in his neck, tears still pouring down my face as emotions that I’d been managing for weeks exploded like a supernova.
Ivan somehow managed to open the car door and place me inside. I didn’t want to let go of him, but he gently pulled my hands from around his neck and buckled my seat belt. He cradled my face with such care it brought more tears to my eyes. He diligently swiped them away with his thumbs as I hiccupped and hyperventilated.
“Shh. Calm down, malyshka,” he murmured, then placed a gentle kiss on my forehead. “We’ll sort things out with your mom.”
I nodded, completely incapable of speech. Ivan got in the car, and I found myself desperate for contact with him, my hand reaching out immediately. He seemed to perfectly understand what I needed and offered me his arm, which I wrapped my arm around like a koala bear on a stalk of bamboo.
Ivan kissed the top of my head and took his phone out and connected it to the car. Suddenly the car was filled with the sounds of Florence Welch’s beautiful, soaring voice. My head jerked up and swung around to stare at Ivan.
“Cosmic Love?” This was about the only turn of events that could have pulled me out of the pitiful state of mind I was currently drowning in.
“Yeah.”
“You have this song, too?”
Table of Contents
- Page 1
- Page 2
- Page 3
- Page 4
- Page 5
- Page 6
- Page 7
- Page 8
- Page 9
- Page 10
- Page 11
- Page 12
- Page 13
- Page 14
- Page 15
- Page 16
- Page 17
- Page 18
- Page 19
- Page 20
- Page 21
- Page 22
- Page 23
- Page 24
- Page 25
- Page 26
- Page 27
- Page 28
- Page 29
- Page 30
- Page 31
- Page 32
- Page 33
- Page 34
- Page 35
- Page 36
- Page 37
- Page 38
- Page 39
- Page 40
- Page 41
- Page 42
- Page 43
- Page 44
- Page 45
- Page 46
- Page 47
- Page 48
- Page 49
- Page 50
- Page 51
- Page 52
- Page 53
- Page 54
- Page 55
- Page 56
- Page 57
- Page 58
- Page 59
- Page 60
- Page 61
- Page 62
- Page 63
- Page 64
- Page 65
- Page 66
- Page 67
- Page 68
- Page 69
- Page 70
- Page 71
- Page 72
- Page 73
- Page 74
- Page 75
- Page 76
- Page 77
- Page 78
- Page 79
- Page 80
- Page 81
- Page 82
- Page 83
- Page 84
- Page 85
- Page 86
- Page 87
- Page 88
- Page 89
- Page 90
- Page 91
- Page 92
- Page 93
- Page 94
- Page 95
- Page 96
- Page 97
- Page 98
- Page 99
- Page 100
- Page 101
- Page 102
- Page 103
- Page 104
- Page 105
- Page 106
- Page 107
- Page 108
- Page 109
- Page 110
- Page 111
- Page 112
- Page 113
- Page 114
- Page 115
- Page 116
- Page 117
- Page 118
- Page 119
- Page 120
- Page 121
- Page 122
- Page 123
- Page 124
- Page 125
- Page 126
- Page 127
- Page 128
- Page 129
- Page 130
- Page 131
- Page 132
- Page 133
- Page 134
- Page 135
- Page 136
- Page 137
- Page 138
- Page 139
- Page 140
- Page 141
- Page 142
- Page 143
- Page 144
- Page 145
- Page 146
- Page 147
- Page 148
- Page 149
- Page 150
- Page 151
- Page 152