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“Then we find a way to stop him.”

I shake my head. “How?”

“By giving him what he wants.”

“He wants you, Lamb, and that’s not going to fucking happen.” She’s quiet—staring at me—an intent in her silence. What she wants dawns on me. “No.”

“Why not? My mom did it to get into Serendee, and that’s how they got me out. Why can’t we do it again.”

“Because Anex isn’t dumb enough to fall for that twice, and I’m not stupid enough to risk you.” She gives me a look, determined yet pleading. “No, Imogene. It’s not going to happen.”

“It’s the only way to end this.”

I struggle to get air to my lungs. The thought of putting her in harm’s way is too much to bear. “I won’t risk losing you again.”

“It’s not about losing anything. It’s about ending this for good.”

Hopping up, I pace the floor. “No, you don’t! This is the kind of crazy move he wants us to make! Something impulsive and dangerous.” I eye her. “But that’s what you want isn’t it? The danger. The risk. The feel of adrenaline when you’re doing something wrong.”

“What?” The hurt is clear on her face. “Why would you say that?”

“Because we’re fucked up and broken, Imogene. All of us, and we fall right into old patterns. Yours is to see how much pain you can handle.” I stride to the door. “Mine is to be an entitled prick, but for once,” I open the door and step into the hall, “I’m not going to let it happen to me or to you either.”

27

Imogene

The house feels different that night, like we’re in limbo, waiting for the next attack. Erik, neck ringed with red bruises, is taken away in a van with blacked out windows, still refusing to speak. Additional agents arrive, assigned to help Mallory and Kane until the FBI moves us to a new safe house.

The events of the day are enough to make me wired, but that’s not why I can’t sleep. It’s memory of Rex’s anger and accusation. In the past I would have deferred to him, pushed aside my nagging impulse to fix this once and for all. He’s my Mate and I was raised to let him make the decisions. And what if he’s right? What if I just want to feel that rush of danger? The temptation of being bad?

That tell-tale twist of defiance churns in my stomach and it’s not long before I finally give up and get out of bed, already knowing where I’m going—who I’m looking for.

I pass Silas sleeping on the couch, the TV down low, light flickering in the dark room. At the desk, Levi sits in the leather chair, absorbed in a book. The title is visible,Healing the Mind: The Psychology of High Control.

He looks up when he notices me and swivels the chair to face me. “You’re up late,” he says, closing the book, but keeping his thumb in it to mark his place. “Everything okay?”

My heart rattles in my chest and my skin feels hot, prickly. Shifting on my feet I finally say, “I need you.”

Levi’s back straightens, his thumb slides out of the book, and it falls to his side. “What’s wrong?”

My hands twist in front of me, twisting at the long T-shirt I’m wearing as a nightgown. Agent McNair left me soft shorts and pants, I can’t wear them, not after so many years of wearing dresses. “I need you to Correct me.”

“Why?”

“Because I’m having Regressive thoughts.” I swallow. “I want to disobey my Mate.”

He takes a deep breath. “First, you shouldn’t use the words, Regressive and Corrections. They aren’t real and are only give Anex power he doesn’t deserve.” He rises, standing tall in front of me. “Second, I’m not going to punish you for having free will, Imogene. You don’t have to do everything Rex tells you to do. He doesn’t control you out here.”

“Do you really believe that?”

“I’m trying to.” He takes my hand and tugs me toward him. “Why don’t you tell me what’s going on and we can try to work through this?”

He sits and I go with him, perching on his lap. It feels good to be close to him, but that desire to pay for my Lapse is still strong. A war of conflict wages inside of me.

“Talk to me. What’s made you come to me like this?”

“Instinct,” I blurt. “When I do something wrong. When I have a Laps—” He frowns, and I swallow the word. “When I feel like I’ve beenbad, my instinct is to come to you and you Cor—punishme.”