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I haven’t told Levi about my plan. About the lists I keep in my head. The number of guns. The knives and explosives. How I will get Imogene first. Then Rex and Silas. And after they are safe, I will find Timothy Wray, the man that started all of this, the man that destroyed our lives, and I will end him.

5

Imogene

“I understand it’s hard for you to be away from your mates and your homes right now, but starting your child’s life in our new Childcare Center will allow them to be one step closer to Enlightenment and The Way. Their entire foundation will come from a place of hope and love—from a compounded energy passed from each of you, from me, and my wives. We’re no longer just members of a community, we’re a family. I will be the father to all of your children, just as you will mother each other’s children.”

Anex’s words create a cold ball in my belly, a reaction to the lies and manipulation. Even though I can see it so clearly now, how he uses his gifted tongue to draw people to his will, there’s part of me that is surprised I’m no longer influenced by his lectures. I know better now. He isn’t a good man.

I stand just outside the room, uninvited to the meeting as I am both Fallen and not pregnant, waiting to clean up when he dismisses them. I can see the women, including my former friend, Maria, whose face is bright with Anex’s declaration of a shared family unit.

“Before I go,” he uses his hands to gesture to the women, “come forward, and I will bless each of you and your unborn child.”

Bile rises to the back of my throat, nausea from watching these women so easily manipulated. Margaret goes first, her belly exposed, in one of her unconventional outfits. Clothing forbidden by other women in Serendee. Her skirt is long, but her top cinches under her swollen breasts, revealing the exposed skin of her protruding belly. The top is cut low, and it’s the kind of clothing we’d always been warned against, but rules don’t seem to apply to Anex’s favored wife. Still, she goes through the motions, touching her forehead and bowing before our leader. When she stands, Anex rests his hands on her stomach and he bends, kissing the stretched skin softly. It’s an intimate act between a man and his mate—she’s carrying his child, after all. Margaret smiles and steps to the side, and the next woman is waved forward. She goes through the same motions of honoring Anex.

“Sweet Doris,” he says to the woman. She was Ordered and Mated a few years ago. “It’s no secret you’ve struggled with conception. And you went through the process to discern what you were doing to block this gift from your life. You spent your time in Reflection and Correction. You’ve studied and meditated over The Way. You’ve searched for Enlightenment and ultimately, you allowed your body to accept the seed of life. A seed we shall cultivate and foster in our family garden.”

His words are a twist of confusion—a blessing and a condemnation at the same time.

“Lift your skirts,” he commands. Without hesitation, Doris does as she’s asked, lifting the fabric and revealing herself to the room—to him. Anex’s hands splay across her stomach, a gentle caress, similar to the one he gave his wife. “This baby shall be a gift to Serendee—the future of our community. The hope for alignment and peace.” He bends, kissing the pale skin. A sick feeling heats my throat as I watch the scene unfold. The way Doris smiles down at him. The way Margaret looks at them with such loving confidence.

Everything in this room is wrong—so wrong. I look up to my friend Maria, waiting for her blessing, aware of the shiny glaze in her eye. It’s awe and respect. Devotion.

I stumble back, away from the intensity of the room, struck with my own emotion. Grief. Jealousy. Abandonment. It’s too much to comprehend and I turn away, escaping down the hall. I enter the first door I come to. Inside, the room is dark other than a small lamp over the exam table. Pressing my back to the door I shudder out an exhale.

“Imogene?”

My heart lurches and I turn to the dark corner I heard the voice.

Thefamiliarvoice.

“Silas?”

The instant his name is out of my mouth, I wish it back. It’s foolish. Ridiculous. I’m losing my mind. This place, the isolation, is making me crazy. Silas isn’t welcome here.

“Imogene, it’s me.” I don’t believe it until I feel his hands on me, one on my hip, the other sliding behind my neck. His eyes dart from my face across my body, assessing. “God, tell me you’re okay.”

I nod, unable to speak past the lump in my throat. Fear that this isn’t real. A tear slides down my cheek, and he catches it with the warm pad of his thumb. “Baby, it’s okay. Take a deep breath.”

I inhale, allowing the air into my lungs and when I exhale, I ask, “What are you doing here? How did you get in?”

“The apothecary.” He nods over to the corner he’d come from. A box sits on the counter, stamped with Serendee Apothecary on the side. “The Center requested a delivery and I volunteered to bring it.”

“Anex is here,” I warn him, pressing my body to his. “Talking to the mothers. If he finds you—”

“I don’t care.” His hands roam my face, like he’s searching for something. “I needed to see you—make sure you were okay.” He swallows, Adam’s apple bobbing in his throat. “Has he hurt you?”

I shake my head. “No.”

His hand runs along my side. “You’ve lost weight.”

“He… he prefers me this way.”

Silas swears, a secular, forbidden word. “You don’t belong to him.”

“Do I not? Do I not wear his brand? Live with his wife? Do his bidding?” I whisper, looking into his darkening eyes. “Are you not under his thumb, too?”

“Let me see it.”