Page 1

1

Imogene

“Twelve pounds.”

As I stare at the number on the scale, Healer Bloom’s disappointment is obvious. The weight that Rex wanted me to gain, to become more like the women he found appealing, is no longer acceptable.

She sighs and jots the number down on my chart. “At least you lost three.”

We’re in the exam room at the new childcare center. The center is also my new home. I eat, sleep, work, and attend these appointments, ordered by Anex, weekly. I come in, strip, get weighed and checked for any changes in my body. Healer Bloom’s eyes always linger on the pale white scars crisscrossing my wrists, or the newer pink ones on my inner thigh. I lied when she asked how I got it—saying it was an accident. I know better than to tell her Levi gave them to me—that I asked him to. That memory is mine, and I refuse to give it up. Especially now that he’s gone.

“I’ve cut back on my portions and have maintained my caloric logs.” I swallow. “The rest of the weight should come off.”

She grunts, clearly not impressed with my results. “Menstruation?”

“No, not yet.” Anex discontinued my birth control the day I moved into the facility, but my period hasn’t returned, despite the fact it’s been a full month.

“No spotting?”

“No.” I shake my head and fight the chill that ripples across my bare skin. I’ve learned not to complain, or she’ll drag the process out longer.

She sets the clipboard on the counter and approaches. Her eyes are focused on my hip—or rather the spot just below. The brand is healing—still red, but the scab is almost gone. “Are you picking at it?”

“No.” I pretend it isn’t there. That I haven’t been marked with Anex’s initials. That things are like they used to be when we were all together, before he exiled my lovers, and forced my mate into submission.

I didn’t realize how good we had it—even if it was just for a short time. It all feels like a trick now. Anex’s way of fucking with our minds, our bodies, our souls. He dangled something in front of us—hope, love, companionship—and snatched it away. The way the pieces fell into place, I have to think he planned it all from the start.

He wanted me like this from the beginning: marked, isolated, controlled.

Broken.

“You need to lose the remaining twelve pounds,” Healer Bloom says. She reaches into a cabinet and pulls out a bottle. I recognize the sticker on the side. It was made at the Serendee Apothecary. “Mix this into your tea. It should stimulate your hormones.”

“My hormones?” I ask.

She nods at my clothing—permission to dress. I don’t hesitate, pulling on the approved undergarments and dress quickly. I have no idea where the clothes Elon bought for me are. Burned probably. Maybe in effigy in front of the whole town as an example.

I’mthe example of who you don’t want to become.

“I’ll be honest with you, Imogene,” she says. “You need to become fertile. Preferably before the winter equinox.”

My heart lunges at her reference to the winter equinox. That’s the date when Rex and I were to be truly mated. Where we’d be “married” in the eyes of Serendee.

Or it was until I was sent here, while Rex was sent to Re-education. It’s foolish, but hope swells in my chest. Maybe all of this was a different kind of test. I’ve done everything Anex has asked. Maybe Rex is doing that as well. Maybe our leader understands we are fated to be together—and he wants me fertile so that I can give him a grandchild.

“Has Anex changed his mind? Is he going to let Rex and I have our Mating Ceremony?” I’m already planning what I can do to earn his favor. Eat less. Work harder. Study more. Submit to Corrections…

“Our leader needs you strong and fertile for the Mating Ceremony, but not for his blasphemous son.” When she looks at me, I spot the small smirk on her mouth—the dark glint in her eye. “He has plans for you, Imogene, and they don’t involve any of the men you’ve been fornicating with for the last six months.”

My jaw drops, shocked at her tone—at her condemnation. She hands me the bottle.

“Take your medicine,” she says, gathering her clipboard and walking to the door. “And don’t forget, we’re watching.”

As much as they’re watching me, I’m watching back.

I keep an eye on Margaret as her stomach swells, growing bigger every day with Anex’s child. I assess the other pregnant women that come in the center with their luggage, kissing their spouse’s goodbye, so that they can immerse themselves and the fetuses they carry with the purest form of The Way.

I watch the big window that looks out over the fields, gaze trained for broad shoulders and a halo of hair. Sometimes I see him, dirty after a hard day’s work. His hair darkened, damp with sweat. The hands that were so harsh on my body, so deliberate, are now coated in grime. He’s almost unrecognizable, except for the fact that I’d know him anywhere. My Ordered. My Bonded. My first, callous and violent. Shining and bright.