Page 201
Story: His Hell Girl
"Vlad," I exclaim, scandalized.
I can't believe he's still in the mood to joke.
"Fine, fine," he finally acquiesces, "I'll go back to bed. But you're coming with me."
I can't find it in me to refuse him, so I end up going to bed with him.
"You should forgive your brother," he suddenly says as he holds me to him. "You know he meant well."
"He would have killed you," I whisper, still unable to remove that scene from my mind. "One more bullet and you would have beendead, Vlad." My voice trembles as I look up at him, his dark eyes watching me intently.
"You saved me when I didn't deserve it, Sisi." His hand comes to rest on my head before he slowly moves his fingers down my hair. "But Iwasout of control. I could have…" A breath catches in his throat, and I recognize the agony behind his expression.
"But you didn't. You're here, with me. We're both alive. As for Marcello… I will, eventually. Not yet though," I sigh.
I understand why he'd done that, but at the same time my heart cannot bear to think of the alternative, of what might have happened if I were a second too late.
He would have killed him.
And for that, I don't think I can forgive Marcello anytime soon. I cannot even bear the thought of being in the same room as him, the urge to do harm too overwhelming.
"You haven't had any episodes so far." I change the topic as I jump out of bed to get the medical kit and change his bandages.
He pulls himself into a sitting position as he awaits for me to come tend to him, his expression pensive.
"I don't think I'll have more in the future," he mentions, and I frown.
"Why?"
Bringing the kit to the bed, I start to carefully take off his bandages before inspecting the condition of his wounds.
"These look good." I smile as I clean the areas, happy to see there's no infection and everything seems to be healing great.
He grunts, staring above my head as I continue to change the bandages. I'm focused on my task when I hear him speak again.
"The episodes," he starts, his voice far away. "I think they were my way of dealing with Vanya's death and the guilt I had over it. Blood…" He takes a deep breath, and I still, knowing this is an important moment for him.
"Blood reminded me of what I'd done. Ofherblood on my hands. And every time I saw it, it made me go a little crazy."
It's clear he's been thinking about this a lot and I cannot help but worry for him. Ever since the day he found out that he'd killed his own sister he's changed. I don't know if it's a conscious change, but I do think that the last episode freed something inside of him.
"Vlad." I raise my gaze to him, searching for his expression. "Vanya wouldn't have blamed you. You know that."
He purses his lips in a sad smile.
"I do. I do, Sisi. But that doesn't take away the fact that I feel an emptiness." He brings his fist to his chest. "Here."
"It's normal." I cover his fist with my hands, bringing it to my mouth and lightly brushing my lips across his knuckles.
"It's normal to feel like that. It'shuman. And though disputable," my lips curl up, "youarehuman. Give yourself time. To grieve. To mourn. To forgive yourself."
Besides his physical injury, his psyche had been the most affected by what happened. He's slowly starting to open up about his thoughts and feelings and I appreciate anything he chooses to share with me. No matter how long it takes, I'll be there for him, and I'll offer him my love and support—unconditionally.
At the end of the day, it can't be easy for a man who's never allowed himself to feelanythinghis entire life, to suddenly beflooded with all of these strange emotions. Sometimes I see him struggle to make sense of what's happening inside his mind, and it hurts my heart that there's nothing I can do to take away his pain.
He nods thoughtfully at my words, though his gaze is distant.
"Time…" he repeats.
I can't believe he's still in the mood to joke.
"Fine, fine," he finally acquiesces, "I'll go back to bed. But you're coming with me."
I can't find it in me to refuse him, so I end up going to bed with him.
"You should forgive your brother," he suddenly says as he holds me to him. "You know he meant well."
"He would have killed you," I whisper, still unable to remove that scene from my mind. "One more bullet and you would have beendead, Vlad." My voice trembles as I look up at him, his dark eyes watching me intently.
"You saved me when I didn't deserve it, Sisi." His hand comes to rest on my head before he slowly moves his fingers down my hair. "But Iwasout of control. I could have…" A breath catches in his throat, and I recognize the agony behind his expression.
"But you didn't. You're here, with me. We're both alive. As for Marcello… I will, eventually. Not yet though," I sigh.
I understand why he'd done that, but at the same time my heart cannot bear to think of the alternative, of what might have happened if I were a second too late.
He would have killed him.
And for that, I don't think I can forgive Marcello anytime soon. I cannot even bear the thought of being in the same room as him, the urge to do harm too overwhelming.
"You haven't had any episodes so far." I change the topic as I jump out of bed to get the medical kit and change his bandages.
He pulls himself into a sitting position as he awaits for me to come tend to him, his expression pensive.
"I don't think I'll have more in the future," he mentions, and I frown.
"Why?"
Bringing the kit to the bed, I start to carefully take off his bandages before inspecting the condition of his wounds.
"These look good." I smile as I clean the areas, happy to see there's no infection and everything seems to be healing great.
He grunts, staring above my head as I continue to change the bandages. I'm focused on my task when I hear him speak again.
"The episodes," he starts, his voice far away. "I think they were my way of dealing with Vanya's death and the guilt I had over it. Blood…" He takes a deep breath, and I still, knowing this is an important moment for him.
"Blood reminded me of what I'd done. Ofherblood on my hands. And every time I saw it, it made me go a little crazy."
It's clear he's been thinking about this a lot and I cannot help but worry for him. Ever since the day he found out that he'd killed his own sister he's changed. I don't know if it's a conscious change, but I do think that the last episode freed something inside of him.
"Vlad." I raise my gaze to him, searching for his expression. "Vanya wouldn't have blamed you. You know that."
He purses his lips in a sad smile.
"I do. I do, Sisi. But that doesn't take away the fact that I feel an emptiness." He brings his fist to his chest. "Here."
"It's normal." I cover his fist with my hands, bringing it to my mouth and lightly brushing my lips across his knuckles.
"It's normal to feel like that. It'shuman. And though disputable," my lips curl up, "youarehuman. Give yourself time. To grieve. To mourn. To forgive yourself."
Besides his physical injury, his psyche had been the most affected by what happened. He's slowly starting to open up about his thoughts and feelings and I appreciate anything he chooses to share with me. No matter how long it takes, I'll be there for him, and I'll offer him my love and support—unconditionally.
At the end of the day, it can't be easy for a man who's never allowed himself to feelanythinghis entire life, to suddenly beflooded with all of these strange emotions. Sometimes I see him struggle to make sense of what's happening inside his mind, and it hurts my heart that there's nothing I can do to take away his pain.
He nods thoughtfully at my words, though his gaze is distant.
"Time…" he repeats.
Table of Contents
- Page 1
- Page 2
- Page 3
- Page 4
- Page 5
- Page 6
- Page 7
- Page 8
- Page 9
- Page 10
- Page 11
- Page 12
- Page 13
- Page 14
- Page 15
- Page 16
- Page 17
- Page 18
- Page 19
- Page 20
- Page 21
- Page 22
- Page 23
- Page 24
- Page 25
- Page 26
- Page 27
- Page 28
- Page 29
- Page 30
- Page 31
- Page 32
- Page 33
- Page 34
- Page 35
- Page 36
- Page 37
- Page 38
- Page 39
- Page 40
- Page 41
- Page 42
- Page 43
- Page 44
- Page 45
- Page 46
- Page 47
- Page 48
- Page 49
- Page 50
- Page 51
- Page 52
- Page 53
- Page 54
- Page 55
- Page 56
- Page 57
- Page 58
- Page 59
- Page 60
- Page 61
- Page 62
- Page 63
- Page 64
- Page 65
- Page 66
- Page 67
- Page 68
- Page 69
- Page 70
- Page 71
- Page 72
- Page 73
- Page 74
- Page 75
- Page 76
- Page 77
- Page 78
- Page 79
- Page 80
- Page 81
- Page 82
- Page 83
- Page 84
- Page 85
- Page 86
- Page 87
- Page 88
- Page 89
- Page 90
- Page 91
- Page 92
- Page 93
- Page 94
- Page 95
- Page 96
- Page 97
- Page 98
- Page 99
- Page 100
- Page 101
- Page 102
- Page 103
- Page 104
- Page 105
- Page 106
- Page 107
- Page 108
- Page 109
- Page 110
- Page 111
- Page 112
- Page 113
- Page 114
- Page 115
- Page 116
- Page 117
- Page 118
- Page 119
- Page 120
- Page 121
- Page 122
- Page 123
- Page 124
- Page 125
- Page 126
- Page 127
- Page 128
- Page 129
- Page 130
- Page 131
- Page 132
- Page 133
- Page 134
- Page 135
- Page 136
- Page 137
- Page 138
- Page 139
- Page 140
- Page 141
- Page 142
- Page 143
- Page 144
- Page 145
- Page 146
- Page 147
- Page 148
- Page 149
- Page 150
- Page 151
- Page 152
- Page 153
- Page 154
- Page 155
- Page 156
- Page 157
- Page 158
- Page 159
- Page 160
- Page 161
- Page 162
- Page 163
- Page 164
- Page 165
- Page 166
- Page 167
- Page 168
- Page 169
- Page 170
- Page 171
- Page 172
- Page 173
- Page 174
- Page 175
- Page 176
- Page 177
- Page 178
- Page 179
- Page 180
- Page 181
- Page 182
- Page 183
- Page 184
- Page 185
- Page 186
- Page 187
- Page 188
- Page 189
- Page 190
- Page 191
- Page 192
- Page 193
- Page 194
- Page 195
- Page 196
- Page 197
- Page 198
- Page 199
- Page 200
- Page 201
- Page 202
- Page 203
- Page 204
- Page 205
- Page 206
- Page 207
- Page 208
- Page 209
- Page 210
- Page 211
- Page 212
- Page 213
- Page 214