Page 18

Everything I touch is cursed.

The words I'd heard so many times from the nuns and other sisters are finally starting to make sense.

"Sisi?" Catalina's voice interrupts my musings, and I'm suddenly afraid she's going to find out what I've done.

I may not care about other people, but I do care about her opinion. I don't wantherto be disappointed in me.

Before I can make something up for her to leave me alone, she opens the door to the stall, finding me huddled in a corner, bloodied water pooling at my feet.

"Sisi," she exclaims, horror in her voice. "What happened?"

I look up, into her eyes, and I say the only thing that I can think of.

"It won't stop… the blood."

Lina takes one good look at me and sighs, "Sisi…"

Helping me up and out of the shower, she leaves the bathroom briefly, returning with a pad. After I'm dressed and my uniform’s been hung out to dry, she takes me back to our room to have a talk.

"It's normal." She explains that nothing is wrong, that I just got my period.

"Period?" I repeat, confused.

Lina purses her lips. "When a woman matures, she starts her monthly bleeding. It's a sign that you're now…" She trails off, a blush appearing on her face, "Ready to have children."

"I am?" My eyes widen, suddenly afraid. But Lina is quick to assuage my worries, doing her best to explain to me how children are made and that I have nothing to worry about.

"It will just be slightly uncomfortable when you get your menstrual cramps. And you'll need to change your pad every so often," she continues, going over every detail.

I just nod numbly, half relieved and half in shock.

How ironic, that I should reach my maturity by spilling blood, when I'vejustspilled blood. Sick laughter forms in my throat until I can't hold it in anymore. Lina looks at me askance, but I just shrug it off as nothing.

Because at the end, an unexpected calm settles over me.

I'm already going to Hell. Might as well enjoy the journey.

4

VLAD

PRESENT DAY

"She's home,"Maxim tells me on the phone, and I let out a deep breath.

She's safe.

As safe as she can be. And as far away from me as possible.

"You really did it this time," Vanya quips from a corner, swinging her legs up and down on a chair.

"Go away, Vanya," I tell her, not in the mood for anything.

"She's going to hate you, you know," she continues, and I feel my ire rising.

"GO AWAY!" I yell at her, my eyes widening at my own outburst.

Vanya's expression mirrors my own as tears gather in the corners of her eyes. And just like that, she's gone.