Page 49

Okay, so the request to wash my face had not been my best idea. The bathroom mirror wasnotmy friend. My eyes were red from the blubbering and my skin was all blotchy. Not pretty. That wasn’t the worst of it, though. I was gaunt as fuck. There was just no other word for it. Oh, yeah, there was. Haggard. Pinched. Emaciated. Skeletal. Okay, maybe that was taking it too far, but I looked like absolute shit, no doubt about it.
I splashed water on my face and didn’t look at myself again as I grabbed a hand towel and dried off. A quick dash to my bedroom to grab my ballet flats and a hoodie, and I was ready to go. When I returned to the living room, Grayson was standing at the windows, looking out at sea. He looked…decidedly not like shit. Great.
We left the house together, heading towards the beach.
The air was thick and heavy on my skin. Gross. Grayson somehow looked cool, calm, and collected. That fact somehow made me feel wretched again. “I really hate this.”
He looked at me in surprise. “What? The house?”
I shook my head, feeling a little embarrassed by my outburst. “No, of course not.”
He didn’t say anything, so I continued. “What’s happened to all the shows we booked?”
“They’ve been rescheduled or refunded.”
Refunded. Fuck. “And the magazine interview?”
“Postponed indefinitely.”
“Indefinitely?”
“Of course. They run on a pretty tight schedule and since we didn’t know how long you’d need, it seemed best not to put a firm date on it.”
I frowned. “Okay, so what about the recording studio?”
“Same deal.”
God, it was all so fucked. I’d ruined everything. I dragged my feet through the sand, guilt burning a hole in my gut, making me feel sick.
Grayson stopped walking, so I did, too. “So now you’re worried about everyone you’ve let down, all the money down the drain, everyone’s crushed expectations, and how you’re going to make it up to everyone.”
I wrapped my arms around my middle and frowned at him. Well, scowled might be a better word. I didn’t like his tone. “Of course.”
“What the fuck is the point of this? You’re sick. You need time to get better. It’s not like you gave yourself CFS. You can’t help it or change it. Wallowing in it does absolutely fuck all but make you feel worse. And most likely delays your recovery. So how about you get the fuck over yourself and focus on getting better?”
“Wow, thanks Confucius, for your words of wisdom.” I started walking, not really caring if he was coming or not. “I’m not sure you have a career in the self-help field ahead of you, by the way.”
“You’re only salty because you know I’m right.”
I stopped short again, turning back to stare at him. Fuck it. He was, too. About all of it. To top it off, it did actually make me feel better. He was dragging me out of my funk, kicking andscreaming. Suddenly, the absurdity of it hit me and I laughed softly. “Fuck you.”
He smiled in response and oh man, there was that dimple. Not. Fair.
“Come on. Let’s get you back to the house.”
I’d been up and about for long enough that the effort of pushing myself along the slippery sand was almost too much. Without a word, Grayson offered his arm, and I took it, leaning on him pretty heavily. Even though I was totally wrung out by the time I lowered myself onto the recliner and took the tea Grayson made for me, I felt so much better, so much lighter, than I had in so long. What a bizarre fucking day.
CHAPTER 23
Stefania
Isat on the recliner, gazing out at the pouring rain, bored out of my fucking mind and just about ready to burn this damn chair.
This was the part of my illness that was almost harder than the rest, the sheer boredom of waiting to get better. My stomach growled. At least I was getting my appetite back. That was always a good sign.
Grayson had let Vera know she didn’t need to come by while he was here, so I was on my own for lunch. Unless he came back from wherever the fuck he’d gone. He’d left just after breakfast, so he’d been gone for nearly four hours.
I could just make my own goddamn lunch, of course. But I didn’t want to. I was really hoping he’d get back in time so we could eat together.