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A flash of intuition had dread curdling in my stomach. I could guess who owned Flow Records. All the work I’d done to push him from my mind over the past few days was about to be smashed to smithereens. Before she could even open the folder, I put my hand over hers. “Who’s the owner?”
Jen’s eyes widened in surprise. Made sense, I guess, since it seemed pretty rude. “Grayson Rivers.”
I couldn’t believe it. Grayson Rivers, the man who had left me feeling used and humiliated, was the owner of Flow Records. This was seriously fucked.
“Okay, so I did some digging ahead of our meeting. He launched the label a few months ago. He’s already signed Jackson Miller and The Blacklist.”
Wonder if he fucked them, too.
Reggie spoke up, his voice filled with curiosity. “How did he manage to sign those bands so quickly? Did he have a team behind him, or did he do it all himself?”
“I’m not entirely sure. He seems to have a lot of connections in the industry, and he’s very selective about the artists he signs. But whether he’s doing the scouting himself or if he has a team helping him, I can’t say for certain. Either way, they know what they’re doing. Well, obviously, since they want to sign you guys.”
I forced a brittle smile to my lips when Jen looked at me.
Miriam’s eyes were burning a hole in the side of my head as Jen spoke. Of course, she’d asked me the next day how my night with Grayson had gone. I’d replied, ‘Shit’ and we’d left it at that. I tried to hide my discomfort by focusing on Jen’s words, but Miriam’s gaze was relentless. She knew me too well, and she could see right through me. The only possible course of action was to ignore her and pretend to focus on Jen’s run through.
Jen pulled a hair tie from her wrist and piled her hair into a topknot. Okay, she really meant business. “Now that we’ve got all that over with, let’s move onto the facts and figures.”
I watched as Jen spread the offer out on the table, her fingers deftly flipping through the pages. She was excited, I could tell. This was a big deal for her, and for us. But all I could think about was Grayson Rivers and the way he had made me feel just a few days ago.
And now, here we were, on the brink of signing a contract with his label. It felt wrong, somehow. Like we were betraying ourselves by associating with him. But Jen’s words cut through my thoughts like a knife. “In all my years of working inthis industry, I have never seen a contract start off with such generous terms. Usually, they lowball, and we work up from there, but honestly, for an unknown band, this has got everything you could ask for.”
Reggie and Evan were practically bouncing in their seats with excitement, their eyes wide with disbelief. Miriam was more cautious, her gaze flicking between Jen and me as she weighed her options. But I could see the glimmer of hope in her eyes, the same hope that had kept us going through all those long nights of practice and struggle. This was so fucking awful.
Finally, Jen asked, “Obviously, even though the offer is very favorable, I’ll still negotiate it up. I’m not an amateur! But how do we all feel about proceeding with a meeting at Flow Records HQ and signing these babies?”
Evan was the first to speak up. “I’d say I feel pretty fucking amazing about that.”
Reggie nodded in agreement. “Yeah, same. I never thought anything like this would happen. I’m, uh, pretty overwhelmed right now.”
“I get it, but I’ve got you. Don’t sweat it. Miriam?”
Yeah, Miriam was still looking at me, but I didn’t have the strength to return her gaze. She was asking my permission because she knew there was something off about this whole situation. I didn’t want to say yes, but how the fuck could I say no? She turned back to Jen and nodded slowly.
“Last, but certainly not least. Stef?”
Christ, I could throw up right now. What was I meant to do here? I needed way more time to make a decision like this. TimeI didn’t have, with everyone looking at me. My primal response was,No fucking way!But how could I do that to my band? My personal crisis was not their problem or responsibility. They shouldn’t have to suffer for it. Man, it was such an incredible opportunity.
But at the same time, I couldn’t shake the feeling that signing with Flow Records would be like giving in to him, like admitting that he had power over me. I almost snorted. That’s because itwasgiving him power over me.
Either way, I knew we had no choice but to sign these contracts if we wanted to take our music to the next level. As for me, I wanted to get up from the table and run. And keep on running. Until I was far enough away that I never had to hear the name Grayson Rivers ever again.
I lifted my chin and dragged in a deep breath. “Let’s do it.”
“Woo-fucking-hoo!” Evan reached across the table to offer me a high five and I somehow managed to force my face into a smile shape and high five him back.
Reggie interrupted the cheering. “I just want to say something.” We all went quiet. “From the start, Boudica has been Stef’s dream. Maybe from when you were a little tot. You pulled us into your sphere and never let us go, and I’m so fucking grateful for that. Added to that, you’ve worked so fucking hard, battled through so much to get here. You deserve this more than any of us, and I’m just happy to be along for the ride.”
Annnd now I was going to cry. Fucking hell. His impromptu speech also put to bed any lingering ideas I had about pulling out. There was no way I could do it him. Or Evan. Or Miriam,who reached under the table to give my fingers a comforting squeeze. “Thanks, Reggie.”
Jen smiled widely. “Amazing, you guys. I’ll get it all set up.”
There was that feeling of dread again, making it hard for me to breathe. I pushed it down.Get the fuck over yourself. This is a big deal. You don’t need to go and ruin it.
As we left the diner and headed back to our practice space, I could feel the weight of what we had just agreed to settle heavily on my shoulders. But I also knew that this was our chance to reach an audience we could only dream of before. And even though it meant facing Grayson again, I was determined to make it work for us all.
CHAPTER 9