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CHAPTER 49
Stefania
Sure, it was great that my hometown had turned out to hear us play, but holy fuck, you couldn’t find a hacker at a punk rock gig in this crowd. Which sucked so badly, since that was exactly what we were trying to do, obviously.
I mean, it wasn’t that cold out. Why was every second guy in a hoodie? And what was with all the baseball caps?
We were already halfway through the set, with FBI agents at every exit, stationed all around the bar and mingling in the mosh pit right in front of me. Scarlett and Daniel were over at the bar, snuggled up as though they were a totally normal couple and this wasn’t, in fact, a dire situation.
I took a moment between songs to chug down some water, trying to ignore the sinking feeling in my stomach. Was Ethan really going to stand me up? After all the planning, all the risks we’d taken, I couldn’t believe he was going to bail on me now.
When I glanced over at Scarlett and Daniel again, Scarlett caught my eye. She gave me a reassuring nod, but I swear I couldsee the worry in her eyes, even from here. She knew as well as I did that if Ethan didn’t show up; we were screwed.
When he’d called me last night, on the new phone he’d sent over, he’d sounded so nervous, so paranoid. Everything was set for us to leave tomorrow. I’d told him my bags were already packed. Yes, I couldn’t wait to meet him at the bus station in Raleigh. Oh, Iwasn’tmeeting him there? He was going to give me further instructions once I got there? Fun!
As if I was going to let that happen. I’d put on my sweetest voice and pleaded with him to meet me at Lacey’s tonight. I had something really, really special for him, and this was myonlychance to give it to him. He’d said there was no way he could do that. Could I just give it to him when we saw each other? No, I’d said, it’s not that sort of gift. But it was really, really special to me and it would mean a lot if he could come by. No one even needed to see him.
I’d begged until he’d finally agreed, even though he was worried. What a darling. Uh huh, that was total sarcasm.
Now, as I stood on stage waiting for him to show up, I was thinking maybe I’d overplayed it. Or that he’d changed his mind. Maybe he’d decided that it was too risky, that he didn’t want to take the chance of getting caught.Fuck!
I blinked back tears of frustration and took another swig of water. I couldn’t let myself get emotional. Stay focused! Keep playing, keep pretending that everything was normal.
Stepping back behind the mic, I felt my pulse leap, because…oh my god, was that Grayson? Shielding my eyes from the bright lights, I tried to peer into the crowd, but it shifted, and I lost sight of the dark blond head.
Even the idea that Grayson might be nearby was enough to harden my resolve. It was time. Well past fucking time, actually.
I covered the mic with my hand so the crowd couldn’t hear and turned to my bandmates. “I’ve got a solo I’d like to do, if you guys don’t mind?”
They were surprised, but they all agreed. Evan fetched a stool for me to sit on and the on-stage lights dimmed. A spotlight landed on me as the whole room went quiet. I smiled and cleared my throat. “Alright, my pretties. I’ve got something really special for you tonight. It’s a new song.” Someone in the back of the crowd whistled with excitement, making me laugh. “Why, thank you! This one means a lot to me, so I really hope you like it.”
I took a moment to connect my phone to the sound system, found what I was looking for, and settled back on my stool. I closed my eyes and pulled in a deep breath. If this didn’t work, I was all out of moves.
I could feel the energy of the crowd, the anticipation building, as I strummed the first few chords on my guitar. Then I opened my eyes and sang,
You say you want me, you’re knocking on my door,
But deep inside, I know I’m worth so much more.
Your words are poison, they can’t reach my soul
Cause in my heart, I know you’ll never fill that hole,
I stopped strumming, smiling to myself as a soft, breathy moan floated from the sound system.
You say you want to know me,
You don’t have a fucking clue
You say you want to show me,
What the fuck? I don’t need you.
I’ve got him,
I don’t need you, I’ve got him
The moaning from the sound system increased, and I searched the crowd, looking for a guy that looked angry or upset.