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Story: Hearts and Hazards

As mentioned earlier, the cozy mystery essentially amounts to a series of entertaining and informative interviews. This means dialogue is where the majority of sleuthing will happen. Clues, red herrings, revelations, and motive are all discovered through character conversation. Striking the delicate balance between dialogue focused on solving the mystery and dialogue that builds characters or relationships is more art than science.

Aim to weave together dialogue that advances the mystery with dialogue that deepens character and relationship development. This can often be achieved simultaneously, with characters revealing their personalities and dynamics even as they discuss clues or speculate about the mystery.

Because clues often come from the community or relationships, every conversation becomes a potential goldmine for both character insights and puzzle pieces. This allows you to focus on character or relationship building while still contributing to the mystery-solving aspect.

The balance might shift throughout the book. Early chapters could focus more on establishment of character and setting, gradually blending more heavily into mystery-solving dialogue as the story progresses, then swinging back toward character resolution and growth toward the end (after the climax).

A rough starting point might be a 60/40 or 70/30 split between mystery-solving and character/relationship development, adjusting based on the particular story and its needs. Remember, the most memorable cozy mysteries often shine brightest in their characters and how they relate to each other and the world around them, with the mystery providing the backdrop for these interactions.

Common Mistakes in Writing Dialogue

Remember, the first draft of dialogue is often about getting ideas down. Much of it serves as a placeholder. The real magic happens in revision, where you can refine, tighten, and ensure each line of dialogue is doing the work it needs to do. Revision is key to great dialogue. Don’t be afraid to second-guess yourself.

With every page, your book changes, evolves. Original ideas give way to better ideas. Themes appear, plot twists present themselves, characters develop in unexpected ways, so it’s no surprise that dialogue will be tightened and reworked.

1. Overusing Names

Beginners often have characters frequently address each other by name in dialogue, which can feel unnatural. In real conversations, people rarely use names unless they’re calling attention, emphasizing a point, or there are multiple people in the discussion.Oh, or if a character is angry. When we’re angry, we tend to use the name of the person we’reyelling—er, talking to.

2. Exposition Dump

I mentioned earlier that dialogue is a valuable tool for exposition, but resist the temptation to unload someone’s background information in a single conversation. In the real world, when someone sits down and tries to share their entire life story with us, we edge away as fast as politely possible. Whether through exposition or dialogue, sprinkle information throughout the narrative organically, and let it serve the story’s flow.

3. Lack of Distinct Voices

Each character should have a voice, reflecting their background, personality, and current situation. Somewhere between a creative writing exercise on dialects and accents, and dialogue where every character sounds exactly the same, lies a realistic conversational middle ground. You don’t want your protagonist and his or her significant other to sound exactly the same. Here, it might be helpful to imagine an audiobook narrator reading their parts. How would you want the narrator to differentiate between them? Is there a way for you to cue the reader to these differences through how the characters speak?

Regular supporting cast members should have their own style of speaking. Maybe one character hems and haws a lot. Another character might interrupt others a lot. Maybe one character requires more exclamation points than the normal person. Maybe someone emphasizes certain words and has a catchphrase. All of this has to be handled with a light hand. You’re making pastry not mashing potatoes.

4. On-the-Nose Dialogue

This is when characters say exactly what they think or feel, without any subtlety or subtext. “As you know, I am very upset about being a suspect in Roger’s murder.” While it’s true, that many of us do state the obvious, fictional dialogue is supposed to be better than real-life conversation. But also, in real life, we rarely speak so directly about our emotions or intentions, especially to strangers and especially in situations charged with tension or mystery.

5. Ignoring the Power of Silence

Sometimes, what characters don’t say is as powerful as what they do. Don’t overlook the strength of pauses, interruptions, or silent reactions, which can add depth and realism to conversations. Timing is everything.

6. Unrealistic Monologues

Long, uninterrupted monologues can feel artificial unless there’s a very good reason for a character to speak at length. Even your killer’s confession—should you choose to write that scene—is going to feel more legit if the protagonist can occasionally get a word in edgewise. You’re not writingHamlet. Dialogue is about exchange and interaction.

7. Too Many Dialogue Tags

“Dialogue tags are extremely useful,” she announced.

Which is true. Anybody who tells you that tone and delivery should be obvious from the words themselves, is someone who A – has never worked with a narrator, and B – is not particularly good at crafting dialogue.

“Yep, I said it and I meant it,” she said.

For example, let’s take the simple phrase,Go to hell.

Go to hellis something some of us say when joking with each other. It’s also something some of us say when we’re not joking at all. It can be whispered fiercely or shouted before a door is slammed. It can be chopped out in little bitty syllables. It can be choked through sobs.

If there is going to be doubt in the reader’s mind about how a line is delivered, then a tag can be useful.

That said, the vast majority of dialog will not need a tag because the lines aren’t going to require any special delivery.

Tags are about clarity. Clarity in who is speaking and how they are speaking. Use tags sparingly. Too few is probably preferrable to too many. But don’t be afraid to use them.