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For writers entering this genre by way of M/M romance, the idea of trying to write a romantic subplot without any erotic content might seem a little daunting, or even pointless. In fact, there are many heartfelt and creative ways to illustrate a developing romance by emphasizing emotional connection, affection, and the building of a relationship.

Here are several ideas to show romantic feelings between characters in a way that fits the soft, warm atmosphere of the genre:

Thoughtful Gestures:Characters can express their affection through small, thoughtful acts that show they understand and care for each other. This could be as simple as bringing the other person a cup of their favorite coffee, preparing a meal for them, or helping them solve a problem without being asked.

Meaningful Gifts:Gift-giving that reflects a deep understanding of the other person’s interests, needs, or desires can be a powerful expression of love. These gifts don’t have to be expensive but should carry personal significance, like a first edition of a book from an author they love or a handmade item that connects to a shared memory.

Support During Tough Times:Showing unwavering support during moments of doubt, fear, or stress can deepen the bond between characters. This could be emotional support, like listening and offering comfort, or practical support, like assisting with an investigation or standing up for them in a difficult situation.

Shared Secrets and Vulnerability:Sharing personal stories, fears, or dreams can be a profound way of showing trust and building intimacy. Moments where characters open up about their past, their insecurities, or their hopes for the future can strengthen their emotional connection.

Protectiveness:A character showing a natural, non-overbearing sense of protectiveness in situations of danger or discomfort can be a sign of deep care and affection, especially in the context of a mystery where risks may be involved.

Playful Teasing and Banter:Friendly teasing and banter that shows familiarity and comfort with each other can be a way to express affection and build rapport without delving into physical intimacy.

Subtle Physical Contact:Small, non-sexual touches like brushing away hair, a hand on the back, holding hands, or a comforting hug can convey deep affection and provide moments of closeness. By the way, your characters can kiss, cuddle, and hug. Just avoid getting too hot and heavy.

Looks and Glances:Much can be said without words. Shared looks, smiles, and glances can convey a wealth of emotion, from amusement and shared secrets to deep longing or concern, allowing for a silent communication of affection.

Collaboration and Partnership:There’s nothing like solving a mystery to bring people together. Brainstorming ideas or getting out of tricky situations can strengthen their bond and show their compatibility as a team, highlighting their mutual respect and admiration.

Romantic Settings and Activities:Placing characters in pleasant or attractive settings, such as watching a sunset, stargazing, or a picnic in a secluded spot, can set the stage for intimate conversations and moments of connection without the need for physical intimacy.

Remember, love and romance are about emotional connection. Erotic content is the icing on the cake. We do not always need it. Or, even if we do, sometimes we prefer to lick our frosting off a spoon in private. In the cozy mystery, sex happens behind closed doors.

None of this means you can’t show your characters being playful and romantic in plenty of other ways. It’s not the 1940s. You can show your main characters in the same bed. Some of the sweetest moments and funniest banter can occur while your sleuths are between the sheets, discussing the case. But when the conversation ends, turn out the light.

The Course of True Love

Falling in love can happen relatively quickly and is often driven by emotional and physical attraction, while the development of intimacy is a slower process that requires vulnerability, trust-building, and ongoing commitment. Realistic conflicts in new romantic relationships often stem from the process of getting to know each other better and navigating the transition from attraction to a deeper, more nuanced connection.

You’re going to need some believable dips in the road of your protagonist’s romance. These low points should be based on genuine and believable conflict, not some idiotic misunderstanding that could be resolved by five minutes of grown-up conversation. Think about the challenges you’ve experienced in your own real-life relationships, and see if any of these are applicable to your characters.

Communication Styles:Differences in communication can lead to misunderstandings and frustrations. One person might prefer direct communication, while the other might use hints or be more reserved, leading to confusion and conflict.

Pacing of the Relationship:Disagreements about how quickly the relationship is moving can be a source of tension. One partner might want to advance things faster—meeting family, moving in together—while the other prefers to take things slow. That’s believable real-life stuff.

Balancing Time Together and Apart:Finding the right balance between spending time together and maintaining individual independence can be challenging. Conflicts may arise from differing needs for personal space or time spent with friends and family (OR SOLVING MYSTERIES).

Expectations and Assumptions:Each person brings their own set of expectations and assumptions to a relationship, influenced by past experiences, cultural background, and personal values. Conflicts can emerge when these expectations aren’t communicated clearly or when reality doesn’t match them. This is also known as the first week after moving in together.

Jealousy and Insecurity:Feelings of jealousy and insecurity can surface as partners navigate their new relationship, especially if there are lingering insecurities from past relationships or fears about the relationship’s stability. Even confident, self-assured guys have their moments of insecurity or jealousy.

Financial Matters:Even in the early stages, differing attitudes toward money and spending can lead to conflicts. This might involve disagreements over who pays for dates, how much to spend on gifts, or attitudes toward saving and spending.

Intimacy:Differences in desire for physical intimacy, including frequency and preferences, can create tension. Open communication about needs and boundaries is crucial but can be difficult to navigate without causing misunderstandings. Granted, in a cozy mystery you’re probably not going to get into this too much, though you can hint at these things.

Social Circles and Family:Integrating into each other’s social circles and family can be a BIG source of conflict, especially if there are differing opinions, lifestyles, or if the partner doesn’t get along with important people in the other’s life.

Life Goals and Ambitions:Diverging life goals, career ambitions, or values can become apparent as the relationship deepens, potentially leading to conflicts if partners feel their paths are not aligned.

Handling Conflict:How each person deals with conflict can itself be a source of conflict. One might prefer to address issues head-on, while the other might avoid confrontation, leading to frustrations if not addressed.

These conflicts are legitimately challenging, which means they are realistic opportunities for growth and understanding in your protag’s relationship. Showing your characters successfully navigating these challenges makes their relationship feel more believable and engrossing to readers. Navigating them successfully requires open communication, empathy, and a willingness to compromise and understand each other’s perspectives. Addressing these issues early on can strengthen the relationship, building a foundation of mutual respect and understanding.

“Love Quiz” for Your Main Characters

Whether your series begins with your main character already in a meaningful relationship or with your main character meeting the future love of their life, this writing exercise can be a playful yet insightful way to explore and develop the emotional dynamics of this central relationship. Plus, it’s a great way of brainstorming some of the key turning points that lie ahead.