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“Oh, come on, Eva,” Paisley states with pleading puppy dog eyes. “It’ll be so much fun. We can grab food from your favorite BBQ spot.”

My lips part, ready to agree, when the image of the mysterious girl who resembles my best friend pushes to the forefront.

Shaking my head, I restate, “Next time. I’ve got a crap ton of homework to do before our game this week.” The excuse falls from my mouth with ease.

I can’t go. The glimpse of the raven-haired girl was too much for me to ignore.

Jade studies me, seemingly seeing past my defenses.

Remember to look happy.

“How about we all catch a movie tomorrow night?” I offer, widening my smile.

Jade narrows her gaze, surveying me before replying, “Okay, deal.”

Paisley’s shoulders slump, but in the end, she nods her head.

I inwardly squeal when they don’t make any further protests.

“We’ll bring you back some food,” Camiel announces as they prepare to leave.

“Thanks. Y’all are the best,” I grin this time, genuinely. “Bring me back some of the honey cornbread.” Then I walk toward my bedroom, not stopping until I’m inside, and shut the door.

I drop my bag at my feet before striding to my bed and plopping down on the mattress.

Closing my eyes, I try to fight off my intrusive thoughts.

Was Farrah really there… is she haunting me for what I did… is this punishment for still being alive?

The endless questions batter against my shield, ripping it to shreds.

I catapult upright, springing from the bed and rushing to my nightstand drawer. Initially, I reach for the pencil case, but when I pass the box with my toys, I’m instantly transported back to the night with Coop and Colt.

My brain still can’t process what transpired with them two days ago. Never in my wildest dreams did I think they would want me sexually.

“Wh-what are we doing?” I ask as Colter runs his palm up the expanse of my stomach. His hands slip beneath my shirt before tweaking my nipple.

I try to fight the butterflies whirling in my stomach, but I’m thrust back into the moment.

“Fuck,” I exclaim, no longer able to ignore the need growing between my legs. My pussy clenches, and I feel the dampness of my panties against my skin.

Shaking my head clear of the vision, my hand moves from the pencil case to the box, pulling my limited edition unicorn-designed Le Wand and hot pink double-penetrating Wallbangers vibrator. A different form of punishment is on the menu tonight. Then, I pick up the pink bottle of lube, cleaning spray, and strip before heading into my bathroom.

I quickly turn on the shower, allowing it to warm up as I walk over to the sink to prepare my toys. Leary of bacterial infections, I clean them after every use and also like to ensure their cleanliness by wiping them down before using them.

Just as I’m about to begin cleaning the wand, I glance in the mirror, studying my reflection. I’m a shell of my former self—not physically—the essence of who I am pales in comparison to who I used to be. Even while broken, a light still shone through my cracked pieces. Now that light is gone—snuffed out in punishment for my betrayal.

Withdrawn, honey-colored eyes appear dull as they judge me.

Snap out of it.

The internal reprimand hastens my movements. I clean both toys, ignoring the visible scars on my exposed skin. Otherwise, the yearning to add more will override my need for an alternative lesson I plan to dole out to myself.

Stepping into the shower, I secure the dildo to the tiled wall. Not quite ready for what I have in mind, I place the tongue-likeflickable attachment to the sky-blue head of the wand, lift my leg on the ledge, and turn the wand to the second vibration setting.

“We’re doing what we promised,zzina l-m?????—helping you forget,” Colter whispers, running his tongue up the shell of my ear.

My skin heats at the reminder of Cooper’s head between my thighs as Colter slowly tortured me, both of them pushing me closer to the edge, only to bring me crashing back down and then starting all over again.