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I got my suitcases out of the trunk and walked out of the parking lot, toward the crossroads where a cab driver was supposed to meet me.
It was time to embrace my future, whatever and whoever it held.
55
Jonas
The guys and I sat around a poker table, drinking beers and very carefully avoiding the topic of Mara and my broken heart.
Well, at least Steve and Cohen were avoiding it. I didn’t care if we talked about it or not. I’d feel like shit either way. I’d miss her either way. I’d still be losing this fucking game either way.
After the third conversation about the weather, I set my hand down and said, “We can talk about it, you know?”
Cohen and Steve exchanged a look.
“Talk about what?” Cohen said.
“Yeah,” Steve added, “I have no idea what you’re talking about.”
I stared them down, giving them acut the bullshitlook. I hated the way they felt like they had to tiptoe around me. I was fine. I mean, I wasn't, but I would be eventually. I hoped.
Steve caved first, saying, “Back when my wife and I were dating, my grandpa told me if it's meant to be, it'll be.”
I nodded. I believed similarly to his grandpa. “I just never thought there would be a world where it wasn't meant to be.”
Cohen said, “Maybe it's a sign that you should be a dad someday? You know, you need to date someone who's willing to have children. A family. Be a stay-at-home mom so you can keep pushing forward in your career.”
I nodded, not quite convinced. “I just hope I won't spend forever comparing whoever she is to Mara.”
Steve nodded. “It wouldn't be fair to her.”
“I agree.” My phone rang, and I saw Tracey's name on the screen. “Hey, sorry, I have to take this,” I said. “She's gonna be the person doing my mom's dialysis from now on.”
“Go,” Cohen replied.
“Yeah,” Steve said. “It's not like you’re beating us anyway.”
I flipped him the bird and stepped out of the garage, walking on the driveway. “Hey, Tracey,” I answered. “How’s it going?”
“Hey,” Tracey replied. “Tess said that I should call you.”
“Yeah, I wanted to talk to you about Mom's dialysis and what you were thinking for pay. We can't do a lot, but we want to do enough to keep you.”
“Don't be silly. Mariah is like another mom to me. I can always work from home those mornings anyway.”
“Wow.” I stood still, stunned by her offer. Was she really willing to spend twelve or more hours a week with my mom for nothing in return? “That's amazing, Tracey. Thank you.”
“Of course.”
We were quiet for a moment, and then she said, “Actually, I did want to talk to you about something else too.”
“Yeah?” I asked. I could feel the guys staring at me, but I turned my back to them, ignoring them completely.
“Well, I kept thinking about the question you asked me before you and Mara got together. And I was kind of wondering if we can revisit it?”
I raised my eyebrows. The question she was talking about was that I'd asked her to go out with me before Mara came up with this whole fake dating thing. Why would she want to talk about it now?
“I was actually about to call you and take you up on your offer before I found out about you two,” she admitted.