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I reached for Mariah’s hands, and she held mine tight. “I’m sorry, for everything. And I hope you know I’ll never stop loving you. I’ll always appreciate the time we had.”
Mariah pulled me closer, hugging me tightly, and then Cade wrapped his arms around both of us, holding us close.
We stayed like that for as long as we could, crying, wishing, knowing that this would be our last time holding each other like this, being in the same room... like a family.
“I love you,” I said, stepping back.
Cade nodded, his jaw clenched too tightly to speak.
Mariah touched my shoulder with her scarred hand. “Wherever you go, I hope you know we love every version of you, even the ones you’re trying so hard to run away from.”
I blinked back another flood of tears and swallowed hard before walking out the door and driving away from my family. Away from home.
53
Jonas
My mom called me right before I got to work. “Why didn’t you tell us?” she asked before I could even say hello.
I let out a sigh, taking my time to park before giving my mom my full attention. “You talked to Mara?”
“She came to say goodbye. She said she’s leaving for Atlanta and will be gone nine months? And you’re not together? What happened between the premiere and today? You two were so happy together!”
“It was a fake relationship—”
“Don’t give me that nonsense. We all know it started fake, but the way you looked at her... you can’t make up those kinds of feelings.”
“I love her, Mom, I do, but Mara wants to be a career woman who can pick up and leave without a moment’s notice.”
“And?” Mom demanded.
“And, I wanted to be factored in,” I admitted. “I wanted her to maybe hesitate to leave me for nine whole months! Is that so horrible?”
“Maybe the reason she didn’t hesitate was because she believed in the two of you. She knew you’d be there for her when she came home.”
I shook my head, even though she couldn’t see. “It’s a moot point now. I went to apologize, and she told me this isn’t the kind of life she wants.” My throat got tight, and I cleared it, wishing I could just sleep away the ache of losing her. But I couldn’t. I’d slept like shit the night before and had a full day of work ahead of me.
Mom was silent for a long moment. “What are you going to do?”
I gazed toward the roof of my car. “Nothing, Mom. Mara doesn’t do anything she doesn’t want to do, and I can’t change her mind.”
A sigh came through the phone, and she said. “I love you, son. But I love her too.”
I rubbed my hand over my face trying to stop the tears. “I do too.”
54
Mara
Confession: I still love my dad.
My friendsand I met at Waldo’s Diner for our last pancake breakfast for the next nine months. Birdie’s grandpa even came to say goodbye.
The four of us sat at his usual booth, drank coffee with plenty of cream and sugar, and talked about life. We shared what we’d miss about each other, what I’d miss about Emerson, and how excited they were to come and see Atlanta once I’d settled in.
But there was a sadness about the table too. For as long as I could remember, it had been Birdie and me against the world, and for the last year, Henrietta had been a part of that too. And no matter what happened, no matter how shit of a day we’d had, we knew we could go to Waldo’s Diner, have some great food, and see Grandpa Chester’s smiling face.
But that was going to be gone soon. Even if I’d be back after nine months, I knew it wouldn’t be the same. Life would go on without me, and I’d miss them all like hell.