Page 88

Story: Cinder & Secrets

“We’ve been over this. You have no reason to be sorry. People get pregnant all the time, despite taking precautions. Besides, I’m pretty sure you didn’t conceive a baby all by yourself.”

Baby... Just the thought has tears stinging the backs of my eyes.

As much as I’m not ready to be a mom, a part of me is still mourning what I lost and what I know I will likely never have.

“Are you sure you want this?” I ask, emotion thick in my voice.

“What do you mean?”

“Me?” I glance up at him over my shoulder.

“Is that even a question?” He takes my chin between his thumb and forefinger, holding my head in place. “Do you really believe I would be here if I didn’t want to be?”

“I just don’t want you to feel obligated...”

“Charlotte.” He shakes his head at me. “I love you. I’m here because I want to be and for no other reason.”

“Say it again.” A soft smile touches my lips.

Despite everything that’s happened, one thing has not changed—this man’s ability to make me feel happier than I ever dreamed possible, even in one of the lowest moments of my life.

“I love you, Charlotte O’Malley.”

I turn in his embrace, my hands going to his waist. I flex my fingers into the firm ripple of his muscle, not missing the pink hue that now tints the water at our feet. I’m bleeding heavier today than yesterday. I cringe slightly at the sight. It’s the very reason I told him not to get in the shower with me to begin with, but he was hearing nothing of it. He climbed in behind me without a second thought.

“So you think this can actually work?” I ask, looking up to find him watching me intently.

“I do.” He takes the wet strand of hair sticking to the side of my neck and moves it away with a gentle brush of his fingers.

“Why now?”

“Because now I know I can’t live without you. Nothing else matters. We can figure it out as we go.”

“So we’re doing this? Like really doing it. You and me?” After everything, I feel like I just need to hear him say it.

“You and me.” He nods, dark green eyes locked on mine.

“And what about the fact that you live in an entirely different state?”

“Hasn’t stopped us to this point.” He leans in closer so that our noses almost touch.

“Fair point.” I reach up, cupping his neck with both of my hands.

“I know we have a lot to figure out, but right now, all you need to know is that I love you and that I’m here, and that I’m not going anywhere. I spent the last few days hating every second without you. It was enough for me to realize that I don’t ever want to do it again.”

“You were so convinced that I was too young for you. That our lives were too far apart... What changed your mind?”

“You did.”

“How?”

“For so long, anytime anyone got too close, all I felt was panic. But with you, while I won’t deny that I was scared, that I still am scared, the thought of living without you terrifies me more. Over this last year, you have become my best friend. Anytime something happens, you’re the first person I want to tell. When I wake up, you’re the first thing I think about and the last thing on my mind as I drift to sleep each night. Without even realizing you’d done it, you replaced the axis my world spinson. You are now that axis. The very thing that tethers me to the universe. There is no longer me without you.”

I don’t even realize I’ve begun to cry until River reaches up, swiping away the tears that now stain my cheeks.

“Well, when you put it like that,” I choke out, something between a sob and a laugh scraping its way up my throat. “Thank you.”

“For what?”