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How can I feel so sad and yet so insanely happy in the same breath?

“By all means.” Maisie is the first to stand, leaning down to kiss the side of my head. “Love you, girl.”

“I love you,” I tell her, turning my attention to Lyric. “You’re not leaving, are you?”

“I’ll be in the waiting room until they release you,” she reassures me, squeezing my hand one last time as she stands.

I watch my two best friends exit the room, Lyric stopping for a brief moment to squeeze River’s arm before disappearing into the hallway behind Maisie.

“You look a little better.” He smiles softly.

“I feel a little better,” I admit.

“When they release you, I want you to come stay at the hotel with me.”

“You got a hotel?”

He nods slowly.

“I just booked it. Not a chance in hell I’m going back to North Carolina right now, and no offense, but I have no desire to sleep in that tiny bed of yours. I got us a king bed. We can lie in bed and watch movies. Soak in the bath. Order room service.”

“That all sounds incredible.” I reach for him and he’s quick to close the distance between us.

“We’ll get through this. One day at a time,” he reassures me.

“One day at a time,” I agree, losing my breath when he lowers his mouth to mine.

“I hope you’re ready for this, Red. Because there’s not a chance in hell you’re getting rid of me now.”

I wrap my hands around the back of his neck and deepen the kiss.

I guess it’s a good thing I don’t want to, I think but don’t say...

Chapter Twenty

Charlotte

“How do you feel?” River runs his hands down my bare arms, suds collecting along my skin as the water from the shower beats down on us from above.

“A little better,” I admit, though that’s not saying a whole lot.

The last couple of days have been a lot... To say the least.

First River showing up. Then, me passing out. The hospital. The miscarriage.

I knew something was off about my period. It’s sporadic and hard to predict, but when it does come, it’s usually always the same. But this... The cramping. The amount of blood flow. I should’ve suspected something was off, but then again, why would I? I had no reason to believe I could even get pregnant, birth control or not. A miscarriage was the furthest thing from my mind.

And while I had no time to even process the fact that for a short time, I was actually pregnant, I still feel really sad. I guess that’s to be expected. Even if I’m nowhere near ready to have children, knowing that there was a human life growing inside of me, no matter how brief, and now there isn’t, feels a lot like losing a small piece of myself.

“Is there anything you need?” River’s lips find my shoulder and he presses a kiss to my wet skin.

“Just this.” I settle deeper into him, his chest firm against my back, keeping me upright.

His arms come around me, hugging around my chest.

“We can talk about it... If you want,” he offers.

“What’s there to say that we haven’t already said? I’m just sorry.”