Page 43

Story: Cinder & Secrets

Based on what was said, I know enough to know that she was his girlfriend once upon a time. And that she hurt him. That much was painfully obvious.

Which is precisely why I did what I did. Because if she hurt him, then I wanted to hurther,and it was the only thing I could think of. And it worked. I knew the instant I looked up at her that I had most definitely struck a nerve. So I dug in, hoping to strike a few more.

“No.” It takes him so long to answer, I wasn’t sure he was going to. “It’s in the past.”

“You loved her.” It’s not a question. That much was pretty clear.

Another thing that’s also pretty clear is that I hate it. Though I refuse to give it any more thought beyond that.

“I did.”

“Do you still love her?”

“No.”

“What did she do?”

“Why can’t you have kids?” He abruptly changes the subject, catching me somewhat off guard. He hasn’t brought it up evenonce since I told him. Guess that shows how much hedoesn’twant to talk about Annie.

“Promise you won’t say anything to anyone?”

“Who am I going to tell?”

Fair...

“I have a prolactinoma.”

“A what?” I feel him furrow in confusion.

“It’s a brain tumor.”

“You have a...” He starts to move, but I hold him in place with the arm that’s draped around him. Though, if he really wanted to get up, he could.

“Really, it’s a pituitary tumor but since the pituitary gland is located at the base of the skull, a lot of people call it a brain tumor. It’s easier to explain that way. But don’t worry, it’s benign. And as of my latest scan, isn’t growing. But it does wreak havoc on my hormones, making it where I rarely have a period and I have to take synthetic thyroid medication to make my thyroid function properly, as well as birth control to help regulate my estrogen levels.”

“But what is that exactly? A pituitary.”

“Basically, it’s a little gland that is responsible for producing hormones in your body. Since mine does not function properly it renders me infertile and even if I were to get pregnant, my body would not produce the appropriate hormones to sustain the pregnancy.”

“But there’s a chance?”

“I’m also on birth control, if you’re worried,” I reiterate.

“No, it’s not that. I just... Was curious if maybe one day you could. Like, can you have the tumor removed?”

“I already have. When I was seventeen. It grew back within a year. So no, it’s very unlikely because of the scar tissue from the original tumor and the fact that another one is growing in its place, flooding my body with the prolactin hormone.”

“That sounds awful.”

“Honestly, I don’t even think about it most days. It’s become such a regular part of my life, and it doesn’t really affect how I feel from day to day, as long as I take my meds, of course.”

“But you don’t tell people? Like, my sister doesn’t know.”

“No. It’s not something I like people knowing. Even though it’s not that big of a deal, I feel like people always treat me differently. Like I’m somehow more fragile because of it.”

“I’m sorry.”

“Don’t be. I’ve accepted it. Besides, could you imagine it? Me, amom.” I shiver at the idea. “Now stop trying to change the subject and tell me what Annie did to you.”