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He has a new job. He’s not going to be there. I have no reason to be stressed.

But if that’s true, then why do I feel like my stomach is about to fall out of my butt at the mere thought of being so close to where he is?

Rejection does not look good on me, I’ll admit. It’s making me petty.

I should call Lyric, explain that something came up last minute. But that doesn’t sound like me at all. I’ve never been this person. A person who hides from uncomfortable things. And definitely not a woman who allows a man to dictate what I do.

I glance up, catching sight of my reflection in my vanity mirror. Same pale skin. Same auburn hair. Same green eyes. I look the same. But as of late, I don’t feel the same. And I think it’s about time I changed that.

I’m going to North Carolina. And if River Parker does end up gracing us with his presence, and I sure hope he does, then I’ll be there to show him exactly what he’s missing out on.

Me: Noon.

I hit send, finally answering Lyric’s earlier message.

Guess there’s no backing out now...

“I can’t believe I’ve been here for two days and I haven’t seen that man of yours. I thought you two were attached at the hip.” I let my head lull toward Lyric, who’s stretched out on the chair next to me in a two-piece bathing suit I couldn’t have paid her to wear at the start of last year. I think it’s safe to say a lot has changed since then.

“He only comes down like every other weekend.”

“How’s that been?”

“Considering we spent nearly every waking moment together for the last few months... Lonely.” She pouts out her lower lip.

“Sounds like I’m not the only one ready to get back to campus.” I turn my face back up toward the sky, breathing in the salty sea air.

“I know whyIwant to go back. I’m a little surprised that you do, though. You hate school.” She snorts out a laugh.

“I don’t hate school. I actually love school. Just not the classroom part of it.” A smirk tugs at my mouth.

“Still haven’t heard from Conner?” She guesses. And by Conner, she unknowingly means River, which makes me feel like a dick bag of a friend.

I mean, technically, I didn’t do anything wrong. River and I were never a thing. We just talked... a lot.

“It’s for the best, I think.” I try to make myself believe the lie. “We’re just in very different places in our lives. He’s already done all this.” I gesture around at nothing in particular. “He’s an adult, living an adult life, and I... Well, I’m not.”

“You’re nineteen.” Lyric points out my flawed logic. “Technically, you’re both adults. A handful of years in age doesn’t change that if the connection is there. Look at me and Kai. We’re four years apart and we’re making it work.”

“Yeah, but Kai is still in school. Albeit graduate school, but still school. He’s still working toward what he wants to be. Conner’s already there.” I blow out a breath. “Honestly, I’m kind of relieved,” I softly admit.

“What do you mean?” Lyric rolls to her side to face me, propping her arm under her head.

“With Conner, I didn’t know who I was. Like, he made me question everything about myself. I was constantly trying to prove that I was good enough.”

“You?” She slides her sunglasses down on the bridge of her nose to really look at me. “You should never have to prove you’re worthy of any man. You’re Charlotte freaking O’Malley. Any guy would be beyond lucky to be with you.”

“You’re just saying that because you’re my friend.”

“No, I’m saying it because it’s true. You are the most fearless, fun, beautiful person I have ever met. And you forget I’ve seen guys quite literally line up to talk to you at parties. And they should because you’re incredible. Don’t ever let anyone make you feel anything less than that.”

I stare at my friend for a long moment, the truth so close to the tip of my tongue that it almost slips past my lips... Almost.

I don’t deserve a friend like Lyric. She’s loyal, supportive, the easiest person to talk to, the friend I seek out above any other when I need to vent. She never judges. She just listens andsomehow understands, and even if she doesn’t understand, she tries to.

When she walked into our dorm on move-in day wearing a very modest sundress and those freaking Converse of hers, I thought,oh great, I’ve been roomed with a Goodie Two-shoes who’s going to make this year so dull and will probably nark on me every chance she gets.And while she very much is a good girl, even if Kai has brought her out of her shell a bit, she’s not at all who I expected her to be.

I thought she would be a nuisance. Instead, she became my best friend. And here I am, lying straight to her face over something that’s not even that big of a deal. Again, it’s not like I slept with her brother and lied about it. Nothing physical has ever happened. And truth be told, Lyric doesn’t seem like the kind of person who would care. So then why is it that I can’t bring myself to just tell her the truth?