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And have only drunk what Maisie has forced down my throat from time to time, grumbling about not letting me die of dehydration.

I need to get up. I know I do.

And yet, I can’t seem to get my body on board with that plan.

“I’ll talk to her.”

My eyes open again at the sound of Lyric’s voice. I had assumed whomever Maisie was talking to was on the phone.

I tense as the ladder to my bed creaks, the mattress dipping moments later as Lyric takes a seat at the edge, her hand settling on my leg as she lets out a slow sigh.

“I’ll give you two some privacy,” Maisie says seconds before I hear the door open and then close, silence filling the room.

“Do you hate me?” I ask after a few tense moments, pulling the covers away from my face.

“Of course I don’t.” Lyric squeezes my lower leg as if to reassure me of this fact, or maybe it’s because she feels sorry for me, given how bad I probably look, not that I care much. “I’m hurt that you didn’t feel like you could tell me, but in a way, I kind of understand why you felt like you couldn’t.”

“You do?” My throat is so dry it’s borderline painful to get the words out.

“Here.” Lyric extends an unopened bottle of water toward me like she can see I’m having trouble.

I nod in thanks, twisting off the cap before taking a long drink, the cold liquid stinging the roof of my mouth. Replacing the cap, I collapse my head back down onto the pillow, blowing out a long breath as I force my gaze to meet Lyric’s.

Her gaze is soft, not a trace of anger anywhere to be found, and I’d be lying if I said it didn’t make me feel even worse about everything that’s happened. I deserve her wrath. In some weird way, I need it. Need her to be angry.

“When I first started falling for Kai, I was reluctant to talk about him, especially because of his connection with Maisie. I feared what she’d think of me for loving a man who’d all but proven that loving him was the biggest mistake a person could make. Only she didn’t care. She worried about me, but she never tried to talk me out of it. Never made me feel stupid for letting myself fall for him. Never judged me.” A sad smile touches her lips. “I can’t imagine how you must have felt, with him being my brother and all. I hate that he put you in that position. That he asked you not to tell me. He never should have done that.”

“I should have told you anyway.” I fight the fresh onslaught of tears building behind my eyes. Taking a deep breath, I refuse to let them fall. I’ve cried more in the last two days than I think I’ve ever cried, and for the life of me, I don’t know why.

I mean, Idoknow why. But at the same time, it all feels a bitmuch.

Though it’s not like I really have a say in the matter.

I want to slap myself, scold myself, remind myself that no man is worth this kind of misery.

Only that’s not true.

Becauseheis... He’severything. I just realized it all much too late.

“Yes, you should have,” she agrees. “And while knowing that you felt like you couldn’t hurts more than I can say, a part of me really does understand.”

“It was all for nothing anyway. Lying to you. Risking our friendship, which is the most precious thing to me, though I’ve been shit at showing it. I did it all because...”

“Because you love him.” She squeezes my leg a second time.

I nod, knowing if I open my mouth at this very moment, a sob will come out instead of words.

“River is... Well, he’s more complicated than he looks. Annie, his ex—”

“I met her,” I interrupt, not missing the surprise that lines her face.

“You met Annie?”

“I went to see River at the end of summer. He took me out to eat. She came up to our table. I had no idea who she was at the time...”

“But he told you about her?”

I nod, my ear shifting against the pillow.