Page 45

“I don’t think I’ll ever love someone that much,” I murmur, more to myself than anything.

“You will.” He yawns, clearly fighting sleep.

“Maybe.” I resume playing with his hair.

Maybe one day I could love you, I think but don’t say.

And it’s true.

I can feel it, the undeniable pull, like gravity pushing me in the direction it knows I need to go.

I’ve known for a very long time that I could fall in love with this beautiful man in my arms. The difference is, I won’t let myself.

I know how this ends.

And it isn’t happily ever after.

But that doesn’t mean I am anywhere even close to being ready for this to be over. I’m not. So I’m going to enjoy the ride for as long as it lasts, and when it comes to a stop, and eventually it will, I’ll walk away.

I snuggle deeper into his embrace, letting my eyes flutter closed.

But not a moment before then.

“Is it just me, or does it feel weird as hell being back here already?” Maisie asks as she unpacks her last bag, throwing the contents out onto her bed in the most disorganized way possible.

“Very weird,” I agree, looking around the room, which looks very similar to our room last year with one clear difference. There are only two beds. “And it’s even more weird that Lyric isn’t here.”

“Agreed.” Maisie turns toward me as if the mention of Lyric reminds her of something. “How was your weekend, by the way?”

“It was... good.” I try and fail to keep my smile at bay.

It’s been less than six hours since River dropped me off and already I miss him so much it’s borderline painful, though I refuse to entertain why that might be.

“So you’re still fucking her brother behind her back.” There’s not an ounce of judgment in her voice, just stating a fact.

“Don’t say it like that.”

“Why not? It’s true.”

“I know, but when you say it like that, it makes me feel...”

“Guilty?” she guesses.

“Among other things, yes.”

“Then maybe you should tell her the truth. You realize she’s not going to give a shit, right?”

“Tell that to her brother. If it were up to me, she would have known from the very first text message he sent me.”

“It’s weird, though, right? That he didn’t even want his sister to know that you two were just talking. Like what’s the big deal?”

“I think it has more to do with Leo and Summer than anything. She lost most of her friends when all that went down, and then she found us, and he said he didn’t want to get in the way of that. I don’t know.” I blow out a hard breath. “It all seems kind of trivial now, given how happy she is. I understood in the beginning. Now...” I shrug.

“So give him an ultimatum. Tell him he either tells Lyric or you’re done sucking his...”

I snort out a laugh at the way she rolls her tongue against her cheek and pumps her fist to symbolize... well, you get the idea.

“Maisie!”