Page 22

"Good. Celeste."

Noble made it sound like "hamster," Mommy corrected him, and then she rose and knelt beside him and held her hand on his shoulder and had him do it repeatedly until she said he had it right. She told him to continue.

Soon, we were chanting in a chorus. Noble tried to be louder than I was, and Mommy stopped us.

"It isn't a competition. Noble. You're making the sound to help you not to think about anything else. Now start again."

He groaned, and we did it. We sat like that and chanted along with our breathing for nearly fifteen minutes before Mommy decided our first lesson was over. Noble jumped to his feet and cried for his egg.

"We're going to practice this every day from now on," Mommy said. "Once in the morning and once before dinner until you both can do it without me."

Noble never took it seriously. He did what he had to do to get it over with and be able to eat_ but sometimes during the day when he was outside building a fort or battling dragons, he would call to me and chant hamsa and then laugh. Mommy didn't know it. but I practiced on my own. I wanted to do everything I could to bring me closer to the spirits, and especially Daddy.

A few times Noble fell asleep during our meditation practice, especially before dinner because he was tired from a day of running and jumping and climbing rocks and trees. Because I had to follow and watch over him. I was climbing and running as well. Lately, it seemed to take more effort for him to do these things than it did for me. We grew at about the same rate. Maybe he was slightly taller by the time we were seven, but my arms and legs looked as muscular, and he didn't have as easy a time of pushing me and wrestling me to the ground as he used to. In fact, he stopped trying to bully me.

Months had passed since Mommy had told us Daddy was here with us. Although I had yet to hear Daddy's voice. I thought I did hear voices at night. Often I woke and thought I could hear mumbling or whispering, sometimes right outside my window. It never frightened me. Instead, it filled me with excitement and anticipation. Once in a while when I was outside with Noble or working on our garden with Mommy. I would turn and see what looked like a shadow moving around the house or into the woods. It was a bright, sunny day, too. so I knew it wasn't just clouds crossing through the rays.

Once I glanced at Mommy right after I had one of these visions. She looked at me knowingly, but said nothing. It pleased her though. I t

hought. Noble never saw anything or heard anything, and if I would stop what we were doing and ask him if he had, he would grimace, shake his head, and then tell me I was a liar. I got so I didn't ask him or tell him about anything I thought I had seen.

I enjoyed our meditation. It made me feel peaceful. Noble got to hate it more and more and continually used it to catnap. Mommy grew terribly frustrated and then decided she would soon try something else. The meditation time was ended. Of course. I did it on my own, which was forever annoying to Noble, who would do everything he could to break my concentration. When he was unable to do it by talking to me or even shouting at me, he took to poking me with a stick or throwing dirt at me.

I complained about it to Mommy.

"Don't do it in front of him or when you're with him," she advised rather than reprimanding him.

"But when I'm meditating. I don't know he's near me.. I don't hear him."

"Just try to avoid him. Celeste," she said firmly and left me quickly.

Whenever I did anything that annoyed or bothered him, she would reprimand me. Why wasn't she doing it to him? All she would say if I asked was. "We've got to do what we can to protect Noble. Remember that. Celeste. You have to watch over him. I can't be everywhere at all times."

I didn't cry about it in front of her or in front of Noble, but when I was alone and I wasn't meditating or thinking about the spiritual world. I felt the tears burn under my eyelids. It wasn't fair. Why was she favoring Noble? Why was I the one bearing all the responsibility? None of it was fair. I thought.

And then one night, hours and hours after we had fallen asleep, when the stars seem so bright it dazzles you and even the trees seem to be asleep. I woke with a start. Someone was holding my hand. I looked at it first and then slowly I raised my eves, and there he was. I was sure of it, even though someone else might say I was dreaming.

Daddy was there. Smiling at me..

He was no longer a shadow. I had crossed over.

4

A Trip to School

.

She's lying!" Noble screamed.

I had said nothing to him when we both got up,

washed, dressed, and went down to breakfast, but as soon as we entered the kitchen to help Mommy set the table. I told her what I had felt and seen.

She nearly dropped a cereal bowl. "Quiet. Noble," she snapped.

Then she sat and reached out for me. I gave her my hands. She held them tightly, her fingers pressing so hard they actually hurt. but I didn't complain. Noble stood off to the side, glaring at us

"If you are lying, Celeste. I will know." she warned.