Page 15

"He must have burned himself out. Were all given a certain number of heartbeats at birth. Celeste, and if we get excited too often or are too vigorous. whatever, we can very well shorten our lives."

"No, not Daddy." I said, shaking my head and backing out of her arms. Why wasn't she crying hard if Daddy was really dead? This was just a dream.

"Go get some sleep. Celeste.." she said in a very tired voice. "We're all going to need our sleep and our strength more than ever now."

She was talking as if she was under a spell, hypnotized. Her voice didn't sound like her, and her eyes were cold and gray. I kept shaking my head, my awn tears starting to flow and fly off my cheeks.

"I've got to go out," she said suddenly. "Where are you going?" I cried.

"I have to go out there. I have things to do, things to say to people," she said.

She turned to the door.

"I want to go with you. Mommy," I said. "Please. afraid. I want Daddy."

She opened the door and shook her head.

"You can't go with me," she said. "You're not ready for such things yet. Stop being afraid," she ordered. "Go back to bed. And whatever you do, don't wake Noble. Don't let him know anything, not yet. Do you hear me. Celeste?"

I nodded.

"But I want to be with you. Mommy," I moaned.

She closed the door. and I screamed for her. Then I opened the door and saw her walking quickly into the darkness as if she knew exactly where to go. I started after her until she disappeared from sight, until she was swallowed up by the night. The sky had become totally overcast. There was no moonlight or starlight. How could she walk into that ocean of black and know where she was going? I wondered.

I called for her again, but heard nothing. My voice died in the dark.

For a while I stood there, listening, searching the shadows, wondering who it was she was going to see. Would it be Daddy? I saw nothing. I felt only a bad chill. Then I went back inside, but instead of going upstairs. I curled up at the foot of the stairway, embraced myself, and waited for her to return. I heard our phone ringing, but I didn't answer it. I couldn't keep my eyes from closing. My whole body wanted to close up. and I welcomed it. Moments later I was asleep, and when I awoke with the sunlight on my face. I found myself in my bed.

My first thought was, it had all been a horrible nightmare. I sat up quickly. Noble was just waking up, too. He rubbed his eyes and yawned and then he stretched.

"I'm hungry," he said. ,When I didn't respond, he grimaced. "Why are you just looking at me. Celeste?"

Without replying. I leaped out of bed and went to the window to look down for Daddy's truck. It wasn't where he always parked it.

"What are you looking for?" Noble asked, sliding off the bed and putting his feet into his slippers.

"Daddy," I said.

"Look downstairs. He's probably having his coffee," he said and stretched again.

I started to nod. Why not? Why not force it all to be a nightmare? Yes, I thought. Daddy's downstairs having his coffee. Everything was just a bad dream.

I started for the door when it opened and Mommy stood there looking in at us.

She was dressed in black, her eyes bloodshot, her lips trembling.

"Mommy?" I said, my own lips trembling just as hard, "Did you tell him anything?"

"No," I said.

"Tell me what?" Noble asked,

"Daddy's gone," Mommy said.

"Gone? Where did he go?" Noble asked.

"To the bosom of his family," Mommy replied.