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I brushed my thumb over the back of his hand, tracing the veins and bones. “I don’t want you to do something you’d regret or don’t want to do. This isn’t easy for me either. You’re not just some guy I’m attracted to. You’re a gay man. How can I be the person you want to be with when you’ve never been into women?”

“I’ve questioned myself a million times a day. Every time I see you or get a hint of your perfume, cables snap. At first, I didn’t understand it, didn’t want it, thought I was being foolish. But those feelings wouldn’t go away. Some days, you’re all I think about, and I struggle to comprehend why. Why you?” As he closed his eyes, deep grooves furrowed into his brow. “What would you do if you woke up tomorrow infatuated with a woman? If suddenly, your whole world was tipped upside down because of the way you felt?”

I tapped his leg. “I like cock, so it would be shocking and confusing.”

He chuckled and shook his head. “Same. See my dilemma?”

“Yes.” I entwined our fingers. “But if that woman felt as strongly about me as I did about her, it would be hard not to explore what that was.”

“What if it turned out to be nothing?” Anguish wisped through his voice.

“We’d have taken a chance to find out.”

“I’ve just told the world I’m gay. I can’t suddenly be with a woman. The media would rip us apart for lying. The likes of Gloria would have a field day.”

“I know. But ...you’re considering this?” My heartbeat quickened. “Us?”

“Tia.”

The way my name fell from his lips tugged on my heart. I didn’t want him to hurt any longer. “I don’t want to fight this anymore. Just be honest with me, please?”

Concern flickered through his eyes. “I can’t risk being kicked out of the band. Slip’s cool, but your brother has issues with me. Some days, so does Flint.”

“They’re just protective. They don’t want to see me, or you get hurt. Letting you into their world after losing Phil is hard on them.” On me too. There was no easy way forward. I stared out across the hillside. My head grappled for a solution. “Would...would it help to keep being together a secret until we are more certain about what we are?”

“This isn’t a game. We’re not kids.”

“No. And I don’t want to be somebody’s behind-closed-doors girlfriend again, like I was with Phil. But maybe it’s necessary for a while. For both of us. I used to take risks without question. I’d jump off buildings, run through fires, skydive from planes. But this attraction between us has raised more doubts than there are stars in the universe. I want to take every step with caution. Putting my heart on the line again is a huge gamble. But I’m willing to do that. I just want the chance to see where this goes.”

He winced and nodded but then shook his head. “I’ve just got so much going on with the band. I’ve been burned and deluded by love before. I don’t want to go down that road again. I’m not sure if I’m ready for another relationship.”

“Neither was I. Yet here we are. If this turns out to be nothing, there are no issues. If it’s something, how incredible would that be? But if this turns into a downright mess, I’ll leave LA again. I’d never jeopardize your position in the band.”

“Fuck, Tia. Cole’s your brother. I would never ask you to leave. My plan was always to move out after the tour. I can do that earlier if needed.”

“I don’t want you to.” I rubbed my thumb over the back of his hand. “We defy logic, but God, I want to find out what we can be. Are you open to the idea of exploring? Of just a maybe?”

“You’re persistent, aren’t you?” He sighed, stood, and turned to face me.

Had he had enough conversation and wanted to head home? No. “Lewis, I need an answer.”

He glanced down at our entwined hands. “Can we try something first? Without being drunk, or high, or joking around...can I kiss you?”

Oh...okay. Hope filled my lungs to capacity. “Is this some kind of test? If you don’t feel anything, that’s it?”

“Something like that.” A playful smile curled across his lips.

“Okay.”

He drew me to my feet. As he ran his hands up my arms, fire skipped across my skin. I slipped my arms around his waist, hooking my fingers into his studded belt. His heart beat so loud I could hear it. This was a big step for him. For us. I didn’t miss the weight of the moment. “Are you sure about this?”

He cupped my face, inched closer. His breath brushed in soft wisps against my lips. “Yes.”

He closed his eyes and pressed his lips to mine. My knees buckled, and I collapsed against his chest. Oh. My. God. My heart boomed louder and faster than his did. Dizziness spun through my head. With the softest of kisses, he swept his lips across mine. Touching. Teasing. Tasting. Delirium took over. Parting my lips, I deepened our kiss. With a flick of my tongue, I dove into his mouth. Smiling against my lips, he met my fevered rush. Our tongues entwined. Dueled. Danced. Gripping onto his belt tighter, I tugged him forward, crushing my breasts against his chest. He had to feel that!

A guttural groan rumbled deep in his throat.

Oh yeah!