Page 58

“Same.” He sucked in a ragged breath. “What are you doing in here?”

I slumped into the sofa, questioning myself. “Trying to sort shit out.”

He eased onto the seat beside me. “And you’re doing that by holding a photo of us playing at The Forum?”

In the image, the guys pumped their fists in the air. Huge grins lit their faces. The last show of their second nationwide tour had been wild. Most of the after-party was still a blurry haze in my memory, thanks to too much alcohol. I hugged the photo against my chest. “I miss Phil.”

“We all do.” He smoothed his hand down the back of my hair. “Every fucking day.”

“I’m glad you found someone to play with you.”

“Lewis is certainly... different. Annoying. Talented. Cool fun...and messed up like the rest of us.”

“Yeah, he is,” I whispered, then waved toward the drums. “Are you gonna play now?” He often did that when he couldn’t sleep.

“No. I’m done for the day.” Cole rubbed the back of my head. “Lewis crashed. I was looking for you. Are you okay? After last night?”

Nope. But I would be. “Hopefully what happened will be old news by tomorrow.”

“I doubt it. We’ve talked to Blake and April and have a meeting in the morning to work out a plan to deal with any fallout during the launch.”

“I feel bad for Lewis. This throws him in the middle of a shit fest.”

“He honestly didn’t seem to care about the gossip. Kissing you worried him more than anything that has been printed online.”

“Yeah.” I picked at my thumbnail. “I’m sorry about that.”

Cole placed his elbow on the back of the sofa then rested his head against his hand. “Was that all last night was? Some drugged-up, drunken fun?”

I’d witnessed the strain broken relationships had caused within the band; I didn’t want to cause any more. And my issues with Lewis were mine to deal with, not Cole’s. So I lied. “Yep. We had a good time and got carried away. That was all.”

“Okay.” He lowered his gaze and scratched at a stain on the sofa. “Because I don’t want you to get messed up over someone who doesn’t feel the same way as you do.” The drop in his voice caught me off-guard. “I don’t want that shit to happen to you.”

My heart hurt. I hated how much his past had hurt him. “Are you talking about Aidan?” Or Priah, his ex? Or someone else? The list could be long.

Sadness clouded Cole’s eyes. “Yeah.”

“What happened wasn’t your fault.” In his senior year, Cole had been into Aidan. Cole was adamant it never went beyond a couple of months of kissing and groping. I’d caught them making out a few times. But Cole was into women.

When he ended things with Aidan, Aidan had struggled with the breakup. Aidan had refused to believe it was over, was terrified of coming out, and afraid of his abusive parents. He’d OD’d and died a few years ago. Cole blamed himself for not staying in regular contact after high school. Losing a friend had cut up all the guys.

But fresh concerns pummeled my head.

“Is this what this is about? Are you into Lewis?” Like I needed more fucking complications.

“Ha. No,” he chuckled. Relief flooded through me like a tsunami. “My experimental days are well and truly behind me. I was talking about you. I worry about you. I don’t want to see you get hurt.”

“I won’t. It was nothing.” Except when I closed my eyes, I could still feel Lewis’s breath on my face. Feel his arms around me. Feel his lips against mine. I picked at a loose thread on the cuff of my silky robe. “After I left Flint’s today, was he okay?”

“He seemed to be. He played hard, joked around, then had a fair few beers at dinner, hopefully to put what happened between you two behind him.” Seriousness set into Cole’s tone. “Tee, he’s too fucking good. We don’t want to lose him, so don’t piss him off, or upset him, or fuck with his head like last night did. The milestones we’ve set are a two-way street. If he hates us or isn’t happy, he could leave. We don’t want that to happen.”

Shit. I hadn’t contemplated that.

“Don’t mess around with him.” He waggled a finger at me. “We don’t need more problems in the band. We’re finally in a good place. The shit is behind us.”

I wasn’t so sure about that. There was too much dirty laundry still laying around. I guess they all just wanted to bury their secrets, put the past behind them, and move forward. I should take that advise onboard. “Cole, you’ve nothing to worry about. Lewis and I are just friends.”

“Good.” Cole cradled the back of my head, drew me forward, and kissed the top of my scalp. “I’m sorry I got pissed at you. I don’t want either of you to get hurt. But on the flip side, I was also stoked. You went out clubbing. You had fun. You danced. Just next time, don’t stick your tongue down Lewis’s throat.”