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“No. Mine is buried.” He stabbed a finger at me, hovering way too close to my face. “Don’t ever bring it up again.”

“I promise.” I crossed my heart. “I won’t.” It wasn’t my secret to tell. It would never pass my lips.

“Good.” He shot to his feet, raked his fingers through his short hair. “Fuck. I’m going for a run. I need to pound out a few miles—maybe ten. Then, I will deal with Lewis. This shit show isn’t over yet.” He stormed out of the door and took off down the staircase. “Fuck,” he shouted, rattling the entire house.

Secrets destroyed lives, broke hearts, and made you miserable. Now mine was out in the open, I could put the pain behind me. I could move on...again.

Lewis and I were over.

Done.

So why did my heart hurt so much?

I fell back against the pillow, drew the quilt over me, and let the tears fall.

I’d been right about one thing.

Ending things with Lewis had hurt but it was for the best.

There was no way I wanted to risk falling in love.

If it ended, I wasn’t sure I’d survive.

Love wasn’t worth the risk.

Chapter 33

LEWIS

After storming out of Tia’s room and dressing, I jumped in Cole’s Corvette. I took off toward the beach with no destination in mind. I wasn’t running away or afraid to face the consequences of sleeping with Tia. I wasn’t like that. But going by Cole’s livid reaction, I knew what was coming. He’d kick my ass to the curb. I’d betrayed his trust and ruined our friendship. My chest constricted, sending a shudder through my soul. Damn it! What had I done? I’d fucked the most important thing to me... music.

I just needed a few hours to clear my head. Process everything. Harden my fucking stupid heart.

Prepare to start again...again.

Fuuuuck!

Two hours later, I found myself in Santa Barbara. I drove along the palm-tree-lined road, past old white Mediterranean buildings with red-tiled rooftops, and pulled into a parking lot by a quiet section of the beach, away from the tourist-popular areas and Stearns Wharf.

Leaving my shoes in the car, I jammed a baseball cap low onto my head and headed along the shoreline. The beach was quiet for the early morning hour. As I dug my toes into the soft sand, I absorbed the warm sunshine and breathed in the fresh ocean air. Thoughts of Tia exploded in my mind. How had we gone from making love last night to being broken today? Nothing made sense. No matter how much I’d tried to convince her Emilio was my past, she hadn’t accepted the truth. No relationship could survive a lack of trust.

But I knew my truth.

I sat in the sand and grabbed my cell phone out of my shorts pocket. As I scanned the years of messages from Emilio, memories flooded my mind and hurt my heart. I was over being used, manipulated, and taken advantage of. Over not taking a stand. I’d loved him...but we were done. So done.

With a shaky finger, I deleted his number.

That wouldn’t erase the thousands of photos or memories of our time together, but it was a start. There was no going back.

As I went to turn off my cell phone, I accidentally hit the photo gallery icon. An image of Tia and me harnessed, ready to parasail, filled the screen. My breath shuddered against my ribs. Her eyes sparkled. Her smile shone. The wind tossed our hair around our faces. But my gaze was on her. It had always been on her.

I rubbed the ache in my chest. I loved her. More than I cared to admit. But we were over, and I’d fucked my future with the band.

Now I understood the reason for the dibs rule.

Being involved with someone close to or related to the band caused problems. She was family. I wasn’t. The guys would choose her over me.

Fuck.