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I had no idea. But I had time to figure it out.

I’d always loved taking risks. This one was the biggest of all.

My pulse quickened. Nerves flitted through my gut.

At pace, I had to scurry through airports, fly over half the country, and race across many miles.

That was me!

It was time to fight for what was mine.

Fight for love.

Fight for Lewis.

Chapter 35

LEWIS

My hometown of Fremont, halfway between Toledo and Cleveland, Ohio, had turned on the sunshine, skies of blue, and gardens full of green for Lucy’s wedding. More than two hundred people had packed into the old church, filling every pew. The majority of my family and their friends present hadn’t been a part of my life for more than sixteen years. I didn’t miss them. Not one little bit. I sat in the second back row with my brother, Lee, and his kids, waiting for Lucy to arrive. We hadn’t been invited to sit toward the front with the rest of the family. No shock there.

The ceiling fans overhead whirred, failing to provide any relief from the unrelenting summertime heat. I ripped off my tie, tucked it into my pocket, and popped open the three top buttons of my white dress shirt. I ripped the hairband off my wrist I pulled my hair back into a man bun. But that didn’t provide any reprieve from the sweltering temperature either. Why the hell had I worn a suit? Mine was at least linen. I felt sorry for the groomsmen, standing near the altar in their gray tails. Blaine, my sister’s husband-to-be, mopped his brow every few seconds, no doubt suffering from the heat and wedding jitters. But my sister had good taste. With his buzz cut, broad shoulders, and Chris Pine blue eyes, he was definitely handsome. His three friends weren’t bad either.

Lee and I quietly cracked jokes, questioning people’s choices in attire, and caught up on the family drama. Three weeks ago, he’d come out to our parents over dinner. It hadn’t gone well.

“So are you doing okay? You know...since you told everyone at home?” I glared at the back of my mother’s head. She sat, regal as a queen in a cream mother-of-the-bride dress, in the front row next to my sisters and brothers. But there was nothing majestic about her heart. We’d been at the church for fifteen minutes. She hadn’t looked once in our direction.

“Yeah, I am.” A new strength mixed with an edge of heartache rippled through his tone as he fanned himself with his booklet. “They told me to never step inside their house again. I was prepared for that.” Yep. I’d heard those words before.

“You’re strong. I admire that.”

“Thanks to you.” He patted and squeezed my knee. “Best thing I ever did was come out. I’ve discovered who my true friends are, and I’ve gotten rid of those who can’t accept change. It’s so freeing. Empowering. I wish I’d done it years ago.”

“I’m happy for you.” I wished I could draw on some of that strength he’d talked about. The chaos in my head since breaking up with Tia still bombarded me every day. Why did breakups hurt so fucking much? Leave you in a mess? Take so damn long to get over? Ergh. I shouldn’t have come to the wedding. I couldn’t pretend to be happy when I wasn’t.

The organist played a droning chord, announcing the bride’s arrival. The congregation rose to their feet. As Wagner’s “Bridal Chorus” whined through the air, and my sister, Lucy, glided down the aisle in a stunning yet simple white dress with pearls around the neckline, a stabbing pain speared my ribs. I’d wanted to marry Emilio and spend the rest of my life with him. But in that moment, all I could think about was how beautiful Tia would look, floating down the aisle in a gorgeous gown...toward me. Fuck.

Without her around, not even music had been the same.

I needed to snap out of this hellish cycle this weekend. I’d promised Cole. We started tour rehearsals next week. If my sappy ass continued like this, I’d kick myself out of the fucking band. No one needed to put up with this shit. Me included.

Lee leaned toward me and spoke low into my ear. “You’ve been distant ever since you arrived late last night. Is it band or girl dramas?”

Hmph. I kept my eyes forward. “Girl. Next question?”

“What’s happened?”

“Tia got scared and was afraid to commit. She didn’t love me as much as I loved her. Do you want me to go on?” Rejection still hurt like a bitch.

“There’s nothing wrong with being scared. Hell, it took me fifteen years not to be.”

“I was right about one thing. A woman couldn’t make me happy.”

“Tia did. Even if it was only for a little while.”

Yeah, she had. But it was over.

“You really loved her, didn’t you?”