Page 197
Slowly he removed his foot from Lestat's chest, his expression blank, his movements sluggish as they always were, and gradually I was able to move him to the steps of the dais. Slowly he turned to make the two steps, and slowly he sat down on his throne, and I with quick hands arranged his garments carefully.
"Lestat, run," I said firmly. "Don't for a moment question me. Run from here. "
And as Lestat did as he was told, I turned to Akasha.
She was standing as if lost in a dream, and I put my hands very carefully on her arms.
"My beautiful one," I whispered, "my Sovereign. Let me return you to the throne. "
As she had always done in the past, she obeyed me.
Within a few moments, they were as they had always been, as if it had been a delusion that Lestat had come, a delusion that his music had waked her.
But I knew it was no delusion, and as I stared at her, as I spoke to her in my intimate way, I was filled with a new fear that I did not express to her.
"You're beautiful and unchangeable," I said, "and the world is unworthy of you. It's unworthy of your power. You listen to so many prayers, don't you? And so you listened to this beautiful music and it delighted you. Perhaps I can some time bring music to you . . . bring those who can play it and believe that you and the King are but statues¡ª. "
I broke off this mad speech. What was I trying to do?
The truth is, I was terrified. Lestat had accomplished a breach of order of which I'd never dreamt, and I wondered what might lie ahead if anyone else attempted such!
But the main point, the point to which I clung in my anger, was this: I had restored the order. I had, by threats to my Royal Majesty, made him move back to the throne, and she, my beloved Queen, had followed him.
Lestat had done the unthinkable. But Marius had accomplished the remedy.
At last when my fear and my temper were better, I went down on the rocks by the sea to meet with Lestat and to chastise Lestat and I found myself more out of control than I imagined.
Who, but Marius, knew how long these Parents had sat in silence? And now this young one whom I had wanted so to love, so to instruct, so to enfold¡ªthis young one had brought out of them a movement which only further emboldened him.
Lestat wanted to free the Queen. Lestat thought we ought to imprison Enkil. I think I must have laughed. Surely I couldn't put into words how much I feared both of them.
Later that night, as Lestat hunted in the far islands, I heard strange sounds from the shrine.
I went down and discovered that various objects were shattered. Vases, lamps, lay broken or on their sides. Candles had been flung here and there. Which of the two Parents did these things? Neither moved. I couldn't know, and once again the fear in me increased.
For one desperate selfish moment, I looked at Akasha and I thought, I shall give you over to Lestat if that is what you wish! Only tell me how to do it. Rise against Enkil with me! But these words didn't really form in my mind.
In my soul I felt a cold jealousy. I felt a leaden sorrow.
But then I could tell myself it was the magic of the violin, was it not? For when in ancient times had such an instrument been heard? And he, a blood drinker, had come before her to perform, in all probab
ility twisting and turning the music madly.
There was no consolation in this for me, however. She had waked for him!
And as I stood in the silence of the shrine, staring at all the broken objects, a thought came into my mind as though she had put it there.
I loved him as you loved him and would have him here as you would have him. But it cannot be.
I was transfixed.
But then I moved towards her as I had done a hundred times, advancing slowly so that she might refuse me if she wished, so that he might deny me with even the smallest show of power. And at last I drank from her, perhaps from the very same vein in her white throat, I didn't know, and then I moved back, my eyes on Enkil's face.
His cold features registered nothing but listlessness.
When I woke the following night I heard noises from the shrine. I found more of the many fine objects broken.
I felt I had no choice but to send Lestat away. I knew of no other remedy.
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