Page 133
With little difficulty I heard him make his way down the staircases through the palazzo and then I saw him come out into the canal and hail a gondola which took him away. I had caught a good look at him as he stepped into the boat. He was a tall man, lean and fair of skin, an Englishman, and he was dressed in severe clothes of black. He was very frightened. He did not even look up as the boat took him away.
I stood on the roof for a long time, feeling the blessed wind, and wondering in its silence, what I should do about this strange discovery. I thought over his distinct message and the power of mind with which he'd sent it to me.
Scholars? What sort of scholars? And the other words. How very remarkable indeed.
I cannot exaggerate how odd this was.
It struck me with full force that there had been moments in my long life when I would have found his message irresistible, so great had been my loneliness, so great had been my longing to be understood.
But now, with all of Venice receiving me into its finest company, I did not feel such a thing. I had Bianca when I wanted to ramble on about the work of Bellini or my beloved Botticelli. I had Amadeo with whom to share my golden tomb.
Indeed, I was enjoying a Perfect Time. I wondered if for every immortal there was a Perfect Time. I wondered if it corresponded to the prime of life in mortals¡ªthose years when you are strongest and can see with the greatest clarity, those years when you can give your trust most truly to others, and seek to bring about a perfect happiness for yourself.
Botticelli, Bianca, Amadeo¡ªthese were the loves of my Perfect Time.
Nevertheless, it was a stunning promise, that which the young Englishman had made. "We offer understanding. We offer shelter. We watch and we are always here. "
I resolved to ignore this, to see what came of it, not to allow it to impede me in the slightest as I enjoyed my life.
Yet in the weeks that followed I listened for this strange creature, this English scholar, and indeed, I kept a sharp lookout for him as we made our way through the usual lavish and dizzying social events.
I also went so far as to question Bianca about such a person, and to warn Vincenzo that such a man might attempt to engage him in conversation and that he must be very wise on that account.
Vincenzo shocked me.
The very fellow¡ªa tall lean Englishman, young, but with pale gray hair¡ªhad already come calling. He had questioned Vincenzo, Would his Master wish to purchase certain unusual books?
"They were books of magic," said Vincenzo, frightened that I would be angry. "I told him that he must bring the books if he meant to offer them to you, and leave them here for you to see. "
"Think back on it. What more was said between you?"
"I told him you had many, many books already, that you visited the booksellers. He . . . he saw the paintings in the portego. He asked if these had been done by you. "
I tried to make my voice comforting.
"And you told him that the paintings had been done by me, didn't you?"
"Yes, sir, I'm sorry, so very sorry if this was more than I should have said. He wanted to purchase a painting. I told him that no purchase could be made. "
"It doesn't matter. Only be careful on account of this man. Tell him nothing further. And when you see him, report it at once to me. "
I had turned to go when a question came to me and I turned to see my beloved Vincenzo in tears. Of course I reassured him at once that he had served me perfectly, and told him he must worry about nothing. But then I asked him:
"Give me your impression of this man. Was he good or bad?"
"Good, I think," he said, "though what sort of magic he meant to sell, I don't know. Yes, good, I would say so, very good, though why I say it I can't tell. He had a kindness to him. And he liked the paintings. He praised them. He was most polite and rather serious for one so young. Rather studious. "
"It's quite enough," I said. And indeed it was.
I did not find the man though I searched the city. And I had no fear.
Then two months later, I met, in the most auspicious circumstances, with the man himself.
It was at a luxurious banquet and I was seated at the table, among a great number of drunken Venetians watching the young people before us in their measured and leisurely dance.
The music was poignant, and the lamps were just brilliant enough to give the vast room the most enchanting glow.
There had been several fine spectacles before with acrobats and singers, and I think I was faintly dazed.
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