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But I also didn’t want to leave the woman next to me.
“I’m gonna go check to see if we have yogurt and rice for when Eric’s feeling better,” she said. “Andyoushould go be with him.”
“You’re not upset?”
She rolled her eyes. “Why would I be upset that you wanna be with Eric? I’m not that selfish.”
“I didn’t think you were. It’s just ... after everything?—”
“He’s sick. And he needs you. That’s all I need to know.”
“Thank you,” I said before I could forget. “For all of your help.”
“You’re thanking a lot of people tonight,” she replied. “How are you feeling?”
“Not as bad as one would think. I do owe you and Henry, so it’s easy.”
“And to think, you could have had a friend this whole time.”
“I didn’t think ... I don’t know.”
“What if ...” She bit her lip while she considered her words. “What if you have it wrong? What if the towndoescare about you?”
I thought about it. I almost wanted her to be right, but there were signs to the contrary.
Nicole’s words when Mollie first got here, telling me that I should make sure nothing affected Eric.
What I’d heard Kerry say in the store.
What Brooke had said to Mollie in the bar.
The wounds were still there, and I honestly hoped that I could get enough letters without any of those people knowing. Without most of the town knowing. Sure, there were people I’d formed tentative trust with, but there were others who didn’t deserve it.
“I think I got some people wrong,” I said. “But not all of them.”
“Who?”
I opened my mouth, but heard Eric whine from his room. “I need to?—”
“Go,” she said. “Take care of him. We can talk about this some other time.”
That was all I needed to hear. I walked into the room and put my hand on Eric’s hot forehead. He leaned into me.
“It hurts, Dad.”
I froze at the words.
I would have been lying if I said I hadn’t thought about Eric calling me that, but it was under very different circumstances, before Waldren was ever in the picture.
Now that our future was in flux, I didn’t know what would come of this. I wanted to be his dad in every way, which made me consider adoption. My plans had been ruined by the fact that I needed a lawyer on retainer, and if Waldren somehow won this case and got custody, I had a feeling he wouldn’t take kindly to Eric calling me his dad.
But I wanted it. So,sobadly.
“I know,” I eventually said. “I’m here.”
Eric burrowed against my chest, holding me as if I could float away at any second.
I tried not to think about what could happen if this case didn’t go my way, but as I sat in the dark room, holding the child I’d raised as my own, I knew I couldn’t lose him.