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“Help with the animals?” She scoffed. “Then why do you even have a farm manager?”
“It’s ... a deal we made. Don’t worry about it. I’ll be there for the party.”
She let out a long sigh. “I just wish?—”
“Mom,” I said gently. “I’ll be there. Can’t we just be excited for that?”
“Yes, sorry. I can’t wait.”
She told me she loved me before hanging up, and I let out a sigh of relief. That had gone better than most of our conversations before.
But then I’d remembered everything with Trevor, and my mood plummeted again.
I needed to tell Cain who he was and what he’d done. Embarrassment wasn’t enough of a reason to hide it. Besides, he’d told me everything about himself, even though he wasn’t proud of it.
It was time I did the same.
I went outside to find him, only to see his truck was gone. It wasn’t unusual for him to leave during the day to either drop off milk at the processing plants or to get more hay for the animals, but I still wondered if he was avoiding me.
When he finally came home, it was after school had let out, and Eric was in tow.
“Mollie!” Eric called when he walked in. “I got a book from school to read! It’s for the second-grade level!”
“What?” I said with a gasp. “That’s so amazing.”
“Can I read it to you? Please?”
I may have needed to talk to Cain, but I also wouldn’t ignore Eric when he wanted to spend time with me.
After he was done with his book, he wanted to go to his room to play with his toys, so I went to find Cain. I checked the back of the farm and then the front before I realized that the barn door was open.
“Hey, can we talk?” I asked.
“I think we did that earlier.” He was moving things around, taking tools and racking them on the wall.
“We did, but there’s more for me to say.” I took a breath, fighting against the feeling of heat in my cheeks. “Trevor was my fiancé.”
Cain paused his work and slowly turned to me.
“What?”
“Yeah. Before I came here, I was different. A shell of myself, even. I think Trevor liked that, and he thought that if he bullied me enough, I would give in. I always did before.”
Cain only stared, and I didn’t know if I should stop or keep going.
But now the words were flowing, and I couldn’t stop them.
“Even the day I got here I was just ... what he wanted me to be. When I was a kid, I wasn’t like that. And then I met him and it all changed. I didn’t know one person could break me down into someone I didn’t even recognize. I didn’t know how to escape it until I got here. I’m sorry I didn’t tell you. At first, I thought you’d hear that I could be pliant and want that version of me?—”
“I would never want that.” His voice was hard.
“I know that now,” I said. “Which is why even I was confused when I couldn’t tell you who Trevor was and why he offered so much money for this place. But I think I’m ... embarrassed. Mortified, even. Who you’ve seen is who I am. I feel likemenow, and I look back and wonder how I even survived.”
My eyes were on my feet and heat had crept from my cheeks throughout my whole body despite the chill in the air. I had no idea what Cain was thinking. Or if he was still angry about earlier. I could only get the words out before I stopped myself.
“So, I’m sorry I didn’t tell you. It really wasn’t a trust thing, but amething. If you’re still mad, take all the time you need. I’ll be ready to talk when you are.”
It was time to make my great escape. I needed to hide out and try to get my racing heart in order. I had needed to tell him, but it was still sohard.