Page 131

“He was trying to get a rise out of me.”
His eyes narrowed. “Sure. Whatever you say.” He turned to walk away again, but I heard him mutter, “This is why I don’t fucking do this.”
I grabbed his arm again. “Do what? Sleep with people?”
“No!This.”He gestured between me and him. “Us. Getting close to people never fucking goes well for me.”
“It’s not goingthatpoorly.”
“Really? I told you about my past last night, which involves one of the biggest screwups in my life. But you won’t do the same.”
“It’s not ... You haven’t done anything wrong.”
“It doesn’t matter,” he replied, pulling his arm out of my grip. “At the end of the day, I care about you more than you do me. It’s why I told you what I did. One day I thought I’d get used to that sort of shit. Whether it be with Jackie or with Er—” He stopped himself. “But it never gets easier.”
“I ... care about you,” I managed to say.
“Sure. But this isn’t how it should work. I might be shit at relationships, but I do know that it’s a two-way street. You have a whole life you lived in Nashville that you’re telling me nothing about.” He sighed. “And that’s your choice to make. But if you’re asking me totrustyou, toknowyou, then it’s gonna take a little more than promises.”
I opened my mouth, but no words came out. I wasn’t sure why I couldn’t say it. Why I couldn’t tell him about Trevor. About the way I’d folded myself into him until I had been nothing. It wasn’t like I didn’t trust Cain.
But I couldn’t say it.
“All right,” he said. “I get it.”
“You have to know that I won’t betray you by selling the farm ... Right?” My words came out hoarse, nearly blocked by what Ishouldhave been saying.
“Yeah. I get it. You’re saying you won’t betray me.”
I wanted to feel relieved, but I knew this had fundamentally blown up whatever we’d had. “Iwon’t.”
“You want me to trust you. Sure. Just let me know when you’re ready to trustme.”
Cain walked away then, leaving me standing in a field to gape after him, regret burning my insides.
And then I thought about Trevor, and the regret turned to rage.
I walked back to the house and threw the offer in the garbage, right where it belonged. I had thought I was safe from him all the way out here in Strawberry Springs.
Apparently not.
I pulled out my phone and typed out a message.
Got your offer. The answer is no. Do not come here again.
Trevor
I drove three hours to deliver that to you, and you didn’t even consider it?
The only thing I considered is burning it. My answer is and always will be NO.
He said something else, but I blocked his number. I’d have to deal with him at work, but I was done dealing with him now.
I only got a moment to pour coffee before my phone rang. At first, I thought Trevor had somehow gotten through. Instead, it was Mom.
We hadn’t talked all that much, but I’d thought about her as I fell asleep. Usually we spoke every day, and this was the longest we’d gone without regular communication.
I was still mad, but maybe I could get some answers from her.