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She grabbed every last mealworm out of my palm before joining the rest of the flock. I watched them for a moment to ease the churning in my gut before going to collect eggs.
Usually, I grabbed the eggs and then focused on packaging them to sell. That, in addition to getting the milk from the cows ready to be sold to a pasteurization plant, took up most of my days, especially when the weather was warm and egg-laying season was in full swing.
And it was all on me since I was the sole employee of Bennie’s farm. For a long time, I’d been angry that all of that work had been given only to me. I managed the farm and did the daily tasks, and for a while, it was almost too much. I’d written to his family to ask for more help, but there had been no response.
These days, I was grateful for it. Sure, I’d had to make cuts and focus mostly on the animals rather than the crops Bennie had managed, but I got to make a living while barely talking to anyone. The diner and the local store bought most of the eggs, and the milk I sold to the plants earned a decent income to keep the farm running.
I had enough free time to move my schedule around to spend time with Eric, my nephew I had custody of. But not enough to think too hard about life.
I checked my watch, knowing we needed to leave soon. Thiswas a day both Eric and I had been dreading. His first day of school.
Weeks before, I’d figured out a new schedule of running the farm and picking him up. It did nothing to quell the nervous feeling in my gut.
He’d already had a hard life since his mom—my sister—had died in a car crash. She was a single parent, and I was the only blood relative the state could find. She and I had been separated when we were kids after being thrown into the foster system. I hadn’t known anything about her until she’d died.
And then I had sole custody of a two-year-old.
I could remember the days when I would move from home to home and wonder why no relative had stepped up for me. When I’d had the chance to do things differently, I’d taken it, even when my only knowledge about being a parent had been from calving season in the spring.
Since then, I’d tried to make sure Eric didn’t have much stress in his life. He helped with the animals when he wanted to, but most of the time, he could play in the fields and enjoy life without worrying about whether or not he would be cared for.
And him being nervous for his first day of kindergarten? Yeah, that wrecked me.
I was tempted to homeschool him and keep him from every fear there could be, but being the lone person working on a farm meant I was busy. Besides, I was many things, but a teacher was not one of them.
The Strawberry Springs Elementary School was good. Too good. The close-knit town never hesitated to help out the school, and many of the teachers who had taughtmewere still there.
Of course, Eric had gotten the youngest one. Nicole Rudder, one of the popular girls in high school who had always turned her nose up at me. To be fair, those were my worst years, and I’d made a lot of bad impressions at the time. To this day,she hesitated to speak to me, like most of the people around here did.
I only hoped she wouldn’t do the same to Eric.
All the eggs were in my basket, and the sun crept over the horizon. I knew I couldn’t avoid this for much longer. Eric had asked to go into town for breakfast before school since our diner, Center Point, was open this early.
I couldn’t say no.
I went inside and loaded the eggs into the egg-washing machine before I got myself ready for the day. Eric was up and sitting next to his backpack, waiting for me.
“Ready?” I asked as I ruffled his dark hair, eyeing the way he swung his legs. He always moved when he was nervous. Now that the calendar had counted down to zero on his first day of school, he never seemed to be still.
“Yeah,” he said. “Can we get pancakes now?”
I was not ready. Not remotely. But I grabbed the keys to the truck anyway.
It was a thirty-minute drive into town. Technically, the town square was out of our way, but I didn’t care. If my nephew wanted pancakes on the day his life changed, then he was getting pancakes.
It still didn’t stop the way my body tensed when we parked. I hated coming into town. There were reminders of all my mistakes everywhere. Like the corner of the square where I’d let Donny have it. Or the center of it where Bennie had dragged me to sell eggs, and I’d wound up standing awkwardly as people passed.
I’d never been able to integrate into the town dynamics, and it was obvious when Tammy did a double take at seeing me.
Tammy owned the diner, and other than her husband who worked in the back, she ran it by herself. Her daughter sometimes helped, but she’d left town to go to college. Since then,she’d hired some of the high school kids, but this morning she was alone and gestured for us to sit anywhere.
Old Man Hugh was here, and he’d called Tammy over to lock her into a long conversation about how taxes were too high. Marjorie and Henrietta, a retired married couple I barely spoke to, took up one of the other tables in the corner. I looked down at the menu, though there was no need. Both of us knew exactly what we were getting.
Tammy came to our table a few minutes later, dropping orange juice for Eric and a water for me.
“So,” she said as she turned to him, “first day of school! How are you feeling?”
“Good,” he said at first. Then he sank into his seat. “Nervous.”