Page 90

Story: All I Have Left

“It was hot. And boring for the most part.”
I chew on my lip. “Something tells me it wasn’t all boring.”
Turning his head, he stares at the water again. “It was… uneventful. I worked sixteen-hour days and didn’t sleep much. Until the real shit started happening and anything you can imagine happening in war, happens over there. The city’s infrastructure was nonexistent. Murder, rape, children dying right in front of you, grown-ass men using their kids as shields, dismembered body parts in the streets.”
The raft moves and I notice he’s shaking and his grip on my hand in the water hurts. Wiggling it loose, I move it from the water and run my fingertips over his back.
Staring at his shoulders and back, I think about how all these scars got on him.
I trace the puckered skin on his right shoulder. “Were you shot over there?”
He swallows and turns his head toward me. “Yeah, a few times.”
“You don’t want to talk about it, do you?”
“Nope.” He breathes, rolling onto his back and bringing my body with him.
I’m flat on my back, against his chest, staring up at the cloudless sky. His breathing is light, his mouth on my neck, one hand on my hip, the other trailing up my side. I squirm, giggling,and he groans, pushing my bikini top to the side and palming my breast.
His thumb brushes my nipple. “Are we moving too fast?” he asks, kissing my shoulder.
“I think it’s natural for us to want to be this close again. It’s a nice distraction.”
“But is that healthy?” His words tremble and he sounds so much like a lost child, unsure if he’s making the right decision. His hand that’s on my hip moves inside my bikini bottom, palming my center. “Because all I fucking think about is war, killing Shane, and this,” he rasps, his voice hoarse with desire, his middle finger making a path from my clit, to inside me. I hear him swallow again, the action forced.
I twist my head and kiss him, squirming at his touch. “I think if it’s what we want, it doesn’t matter. There are no rules to this.”
His erection settles into the crack of my ass as I move my feet flat against the raft. It sways, the motion causing him to groan. “There should be rules, because I don’t know what the fuck to do.” Sucking my bottom lip into his mouth, his finger slides out of me and across my clit again. “I’m scared.”
“Of what?”
“It being too much.”
I open my eyes and lift his sunglasses from his face. “For you or me?”
“Both,” he answers honestly.
My chest feels heavy with apprehension, yet there’s a familiar stirring inside me. “What if we just try? No expectations as to what happens after?”
His eyes, so bright, so focused now lock on mine, sunburnt cheeks glowing in the sun.
“Did you bring any condoms with you?” I ask, rolling my hips back against his.
A grunt leaves his lips, his lids fluttering. He nods, but no words follow. Grabbing hold of his wrist, I push on his hand that’s beneath my bikini bottoms. Desire knots inside me, mylegs shaking and opening wider, and I’m thankful we’re tucked away in a cove and out of sight.
And it’s here, beneath the shade of trees hanging over the cove, I fall apart again in his hands. No expectations as to where this will go from here.
When you fall in love the second time, there’s a part people warn you about. It’s the ugly parts. The ones you never see coming but know it’s there beneath the surface waiting for the you to sink just enough it can swallow you whole.
With Grayson, I didn’t think I’d slip. Not this time, anyway.
43
EVIE
Grayson tosses a package of condoms at me on the bed where I’m lying and feeling sorry for my tender skin. I should have used sunscreen yesterday. “Your brother was in the truck waiting at the gas station when I bought these.”
I watch him move around the side of the bed, his shorts hanging low on his hips. “Did he say anything?”